She used to write poems about slitting her wrists
About monsters that did but did not exist
About band aids and stained paper towels
About grubby toilet seats and empty bowels
And well, now
She regret the scars
Fishing line trails out of them
Transparent until noticed
Then tangled and messy
Catching on hot sweaters in the summer
On the eyes of friends
Of her grandparents
She found them to no longer be the uneven lines of art she loved
She'd stick to colored pens
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
but it doesn't change the fact
that all you can give to the world
is an awkward wave to a girl
who may be dying.
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 12:35 AM UTC
What the hell am I supposed to do I feel as if I'm ******* because this addiction thing has proved time and again that it always wins in the end and I can't stop there is no off switch so I will probably die of this which depresses me and I confess that makes me want a drink as the cycle continues until I lose the battle and my loved ones suffer I have considered suicide to get it over with and stifle the wake of misery I've yet to leave behind but cannot seem to find the courage and you may say that rehab is the way to get and stay sober yet I submit it is a bandaid on a severed artery this I know from experience and what is wrong seems to go down deep to the very essence of me where my belief in God lives in my soul but faith has not sustained my sobriety even feeding the fear at moments when the voices are severe in my mind always trying to belittle and break me down until I whittle away into nothingness please
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 25, 2016 at 12:34 AM UTC
we've lost touch these last few years, and i will never forgive myself
it seems so surreal that you're gone
why were you not wearing your seatbelt?
were you looking at your phone?
did someone run you off of the road?
why did something so bad happen to someone so great?
i have so many questions that will never be answered
one second you were here, and the next you were gone
you will forever be in our hearts
you always were a daddy's girl, now you're singing "Sweet Home Alabama" and having lemonade stands with him again
your preacher continued to repeat, "she's not in pain anymore" and "her darker days are over"
why didn't you tell me you were having a hard time?
you had your whole future planned out, why weren't you wearing your seat belt?
i will think about you every day from now until the day i join you
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 8:38 PM UTC
Distantly staring
I slowly begin to cry
I find myself wondering
Is this the last goodbye?
As you start to leave
I silently begin to pray
dear Lord bring her back to me
at the end of this day
Over the years we've grown close
inseparable we two
Oh my god what if something terrible
should happen to you
We'll be in love forever
until the very end
The thing I'm most thankful for
you are my best friend
Your love penetrates me down
to my very soul
It fills the emptiness inside me
no longer a black hole
I'll sit and wait forever
till you are by my side
Every second till we're together
will be how many tears I've cried
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 29, 2016 at 5:27 PM UTC
it's almost inevitable in the eyes of many
you push yourself so far that at some point you're destined to fall
you give up to your limit, and then you break, and i don't blame you
you forget any idea of optimism or hope
nothing else matters except the thought of the pain ending
you're told you're being selfish but in your eyes you're doing them a favor
the drugs couldn't keep you numb long enough anymore
the blade couldn't cut deep enough anymore
and the only escape now was a permanent one, am i right?
so that's it
you made your decision
you pull the trigger
you take the pills
you make the cut
you step off of the stool
"no one will miss me"
"it'll end the pain"
"i have no purpose"
you remind yourself
it was worth it
until your mom finds your body
or your dad
or your little sister
or your cousin
or your bestfriend
they'll never forget how lifeless you looked
you're pale, scarred, helpless body will be etched into them forever
if they had just gotten there earlier maybe they could've saved you
you know that's not true but they don't
they feel like it's their fault
it's unfair
you ended your pain, just to cause more for those who love you
it's going to get better
it's destined to
don't permanently end your life because you're temporarily upset
i know it's hard, but hang in there
your life matters a lot more than you think it does
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 11:55 PM UTC
sit down one day and look at yourself
look at every decision you've made
every person you've kissed
every lie you've told
every "i love you" that's left your lips
and ask yourself
was it worth it?
did it make me happy?
did it make someone else happy?
was it said out of pain?
just take some time
reflect
and then quicker than you think
the past will soon be forgotten
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 8:40 PM UTC