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_iona
F
even though, deep down, i knew smoking a single cigarette shouldn’t stain my soul with sin but it does but it did drinking one, downing two, drowning three glasses of wine shouldn’t seem like satan’s communion but it does but it did i thought i could get to know you, now that it shouldn’t hurt but it does but it did you disappeared due to disease you didn’t think would **** you but it did but it did
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Oct 9, 2025
Oct 9, 2025 at 7:47 PM UTC
THEY TOLD ME HE DIED OF A HEART ATTACK
I'm too afraid to say it 'cause that would make it real I don't want anyone to worry, it's really no big deal and if you get concerned then don't ask me how I feel because I am choking on summer sun much too hot, and I am dying in Arizona on a Sunday night and I am dancing on a tabletop in a bar and I am stealing a drag from secondhand smoke and I won't say the word that I know is true It's too big a mouthful And if I can't handle it, how could you?
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May 20, 2025
May 20, 2025 at 8:14 AM UTC
The 'D' Word
I am planning for a future that doesn't yet exist I have calculated salaries I don't have morgages for homes I don't own hospital bills I don't yet need I'm not sure if I have ever existed in the moment At least, Not this moment and not the next I wish I could stay in my bed all day A small patter of rain, a moment of peace, without boredom I fail, of course, I always seem to continue with my other plan I keep my head down low I keep myself shrunk into a sliver, barely a slice of a shadow And I wonder why I'm not happy And I wonder why nothing ever happens And I wonder why I feel guilty all the time
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May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 8:42 AM UTC
Disassociation Musings
Dandelions So pretty you are swaying in the wind pretty dandelion owning your own spring Spring is here each flower dancing in the wind Your color is yellow golden you are loved by the bees One of nature's beauty you are to me - Kay Lyn
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Apr 5, 2025
Apr 5, 2025 at 8:41 AM UTC
Dandelions
Humanity i love you because you would rather black the boots of success than enquire whose soul dangles from his watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both parties and because you unflinchingly applaud all songs containing the words country home and mother when sung at the old howard Humanity i love you because when you’re hard up you pawn your intelligence to buy a drink and when you’re flush pride keeps you from the pawn shop and because you are continually committing nuisances but more especially in your own house Humanity i love you because you are perpetually putting the secret of life in your pants and forgetting it’s there and sitting down on it and because you are forever making poems in the lap of death Humanity i hate you
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Apr 5, 2025
Apr 5, 2025 at 3:45 AM UTC
Humanity I Love You
I'm just SO TIRED OF MOVING! I could barely bring myself to pack up my toothbrush it has been sitting in the same orange mug for months now and I need to move it? my shampoo is now zipped away in a plastic baggy and my hair ties strangle my brush all that remains are my pyjamas and tomorrow's clothes. How quickly it all can change one day I was settling in, welcomed by a hug and one day I was only, eating dinner with you, made vegetarian for me and one day I was alone at home and it was all okay and now I need to move? I hope you wish I could stay as much as I want to I hope you think about me at dinner where there is no plate or cup I hope when you walk past my door you get a bittersweet smile and you think about me for a few seconds of time I now I will think about you each time they do something slightly off a little too different than you would and I WANT TO GO HOME I've been gone for far too long (!) but that would mean I need to PACK IT ALL UP and GET ON A PLANE and it's just a little while longer hold on sweetie, hold on
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Apr 4, 2025
Apr 4, 2025 at 2:18 PM UTC
April 4, 2025-91 days and counting