I force my tears to fall
By hearing sorrowful music
I empathized with others
Just to subside my own feelings
I know I'm so pathetic
But you would feel the same
If you were in my place
The numbness grows wilder
The more I hold it within
They ask me why I'm sad
Even when there is nothing
I know I'm cribbing over this life that could have been worse
I know I'm so pathetic
But you would feel the same
If you were in my place
I wish they could understand
That nothingness can be all the reason
I take a deep breath
I do it all over again
Seems like I'm stuck
In a loop that never ends
I know it's a choice
But for some it isn't
I know I'm so pathetic
But you would feel the same
If you were in my place
This unending despair
This hollow feeling
Of emptiness consumes me
Spreading like ink
On a wet sheet
Leaving a stain
Making it bleak
Hard to distinguish
Everything seems blurry
I know I'm so pathetic
But you would feel the same
if you were in my place.
My dreams are now nothing
But nightmares
My expectations are nothing
But false hopes
I'm walking with burden
Not mine to carry
Even the little air I take
Struggles to be free
I know I'm so pathetic
But you would feel the same
Only if you were in my place.
Oct 11, 2020
Oct 11, 2020 at 7:11 AM UTC
"It held me tightly.
My fears began to rise.
I wanted to escape,
but drowned in my inner cries.
My voice stuck in my throat.
My head choking on my thoughts.
I could see it approaching,
yet I couldn't move.
conquering my body,
from head to toe.
Like a lifeless soul,
I lay on my bed.
guess this is what.
they call near death!
My soul won't give up the fight,
pushing me to try.
But the monsters always overpower
and all hope dies.
It grabbed my arms.
My ankles struck with pain.
An urge to run away,
was killing me softly.
Tears were only
that could escape,
seeking for its kindness
against its torments.
The only way pain
could let out itself.
The suffering grew bolder.
The sounds in my head louder.
My body felt heavier,
as if burdened
with its torture.
My pupils dilating
as if searching
for a ray of hope.
But the numbness won't leave,
driving me to the edge of insanity.
Finally I did move,
but the chills never leave.
Every time I sleep
it slowly creeps up on me."
~Ana
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 2:40 AM UTC
I'm so happy and confused
To confess this to you
That my tears won't fall anymore
Even when your thoughts
Knock my door
All empathy is fading
Just wanted you to know
That pity isnt loving
It's way beyond your shore
The uneasiness on the rememberance
Of our fiticious love
Doesn't come in my way
Anymore
Is it what moving on feels like?
Like crown on your head
And no one to bet?
You know better
Cause you did it everytime
Hid your crimes
Without leaving a sign.
Tell me honey
won't you say?
Show me some pity again!
And tell me if i'm okay ?
Or if i'm like you now?
Stone cold
Blood in my hands
Yet no regrets
Pulling me down
Better off without any love
I feel like i'm rising above
Like phoenix
rebuilding from ash
I will rise again
Within a flash
But don't be scared
I'll still be who i was
Just with stronger wings
And sharper claws...
Ana❤
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 2:39 AM UTC
"And then I lost
Track of time
Diffusing like the scent
You left behind
Stuck like scars
That never leave
Your thoughts
Opened wounds
That barely healed."
~Ana🖤
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 2:38 AM UTC
"Sometimes I feel
Uncomfortable with my own voice
Cause it lost it's worth
In the pandemonium of this world.
I lost the whining of my own emotions
In the cries constantly telling me to pick myself up.
I lost the feel of pain
When I was tired of being shut up.
I lost the pleasure of joy
When it became an infrequent visitor.
I lost the warmth of love
When I was abandoned in the cold for too long.
And I lost the meaning of this life
When I lost who I was."
~Ana💜
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 2:36 AM UTC