“The good die young. They be the first ones to leave.”
And they don’t come back, no matter how much we plead
No matter all the days we spend begging on our knees
No matter all the nights we stay up sacrificing sleep
No matter all the pain we feel, regardless of how deep
You could give up everything and you still won’t see them breathe
You could even sell your soul but their tongue will never speak
You could pray for peace but It’s rest you’ll never receive
No matter what we do, it’s a change we’ll never see
Thoughts and prayers are nice but it’s hopeless and it’s bleak
Jul 25, 2022
Jul 25, 2022 at 1:10 AM UTC
I keep thinking how Jesus raised Lazarus from his tomb
And about how that really must have healed his family’s wounds
I’ve been praying for some leniency for yours too
Still, no matter how many tears I shed, it’s for no use
He must have thought Lazarus deserved life more than you
But I don’t think he does
See, I think God chooses favorites
And it just wasn’t us
I keep begging for a miracle to come through
Hoping that all this tragedy doesn’t have to be true
And I know it’s pointless of me to do
But I’m only human; What am i supposed to do?
Aug 24, 2021
Aug 24, 2021 at 8:10 PM UTC
An infinite well of effort
Something only dedicated to a select few
Refuse to exhaust myself
For anything lesser
No work to right a wrong
That doesn’t include myself
Never again will I cry
Over a loss of love
Relationships
Deserve no time and
No energy to mend
There’s no value found
In self pity
Or in the arms of men
Aug 15, 2021
Aug 15, 2021 at 8:48 PM UTC
I’ve read a lot of books
So many stories
They always describe it the same
Dry mouth, empty thoughts
Usually even instant understanding
But that wasn’t how it happened for me
They all say they couldn’t breathe
But I was breathing too much
Hyperventilating
There was nothing empty about my mind
The thoughts were racing
Oh, all the images
The memories
Of you and me
Under the bridge
And at the trailer parks
Our last conversations
That very final hug
But not our last embrace
I held you from the casket
I planted a loving kiss on your face
My tongue didn’t feel dry
I was mumbling to myself
Screaming in devastation
Drowning in my grief
I kept calling your phone
Praying for an answer
Praying for anything
I needed it to be a lie
I needed it all to be fake
I couldn’t understand
No sense could it make
I threw my head against the walls
Hoping the bricks could seal my fate
Blow after blow
Trying to join my soulmate
Pleading
Bargaining with God
I’ll change my ways
Just let this be okay
Begging to have you back that day
Hopeless.
Lost.
My soul felt pointless.
And when I saw you for the first time
When I laid my eyes on that box
It wasn’t just you; it was me that I saw
I was you and you were me
And I knew the truth
I was dead now too
Aug 15, 2021
Aug 15, 2021 at 7:31 PM UTC
Only a few things make me crack
I can’t handle comments on my weight
No I don’t think that I’m fat
It takes me years to gain
“Little girl, don’t you eat?”
All I want is curves
I can attain them too
But if I miss even one meal
It all falls through
I wish I was invisible
I wish no one cared
I wish that when I enter the room
It won’t feel like everyone stares
Nov 29, 2020
Nov 29, 2020 at 1:29 PM UTC
You could give me the world
And I'd still be cold
Staring through the screen door
Full of
Boredom
And
Resentment
Jul 5, 2020
Jul 5, 2020 at 11:29 PM UTC
He's a Taylor Swift song
Dancing with me in my wildest dreams
He's Sam Hunt and Kane Brown
Giving me a taste of Heaven
Only to disappear when I wake up
He's my delicate heart
Stranded in the ocean
Surrounded by waves
And currents taking him away
He's still all that I need
Even when he doesn't want me
He's Cajun Louisiana
Delicious king cake
Living in sunny California
Giving me the darkest days
He's my white wine nights
When I'm all alone
Praying for his family
Though he won't be mine
He's the smile on my face
The feeling I chase
An unattainable embrace
Jun 29, 2020
Jun 29, 2020 at 5:35 PM UTC
Clinging losely
To whatever you have left for me
Privately
I talk to myself
Why are you here?
I don't understand
You say you love me
The years prove it true
But, God, I'm ugly
Utterly void of any virtue
I swear I'm dying inside.
I know you can't save me
But let's pretend
If only for a moment
That you and I are real
Am I enough?
I don't feel so
I never do
You don't know what I see
Mirrors aren't kind to me
....
God, I hope you know me.
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 1:30 AM UTC
You broke me down
And picked me apart
You took a toll
On this woman's heart
And I bowed down
Now I'm putting in work
And I'm pushing on
I will not give you
The satisfaction
Never again will I drown
No I will not take
This lying down
I've gotten back up
I am no clown
I dusted my throne
And I'm wearing my crown
Jan 13, 2020
Jan 13, 2020 at 3:13 PM UTC
I thought I was in love with you
Turns out I was only a fool
So I took a fall from Grace
Landed flat on my face
Left struggling to find my place
But that's okay; I can play too
It's just a game, and I'm feeling cool
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 12:57 AM UTC