I will never lose to you again.
You who are without care.
You who are despicable.
You who take without nodding. Without looking. Without giving so much as a glance.
You will never get the best of me again.
I will never lose to you.
I know your game.
I know the seeds you plant.
And you. will die. And I will see to it that I am the one who buried your hate.
I will be the one to rise above you.
And all that you incarnate.
You are evil.
And I will overcome you.
You are the world.
And I am coming for you.
Feb 28, 2021
Feb 28, 2021 at 5:00 AM UTC
An empty room.
Like pressing pause on a movie the picture is still.
But there's no control over the scene with a remote.
Just paused.
Sitting alone.
The silence grips the back of your throat but you elate.
It's not the feeling of chocking but the feeling of something you've been through a million times.
Familiarity.
You're not scared of the paused screen.
You've been here before.
You're going to be okay...
You're going to be fine.
I promise you.
No matter how loud the hallway gets.
How distance that checking feeling grips.
It will eventually. fade.
If you're willing to let it.
Dont be the illusion.
Be the present.
Dont feed the conclusions.
Feed your own personal heaven.
Sit. Listen. Fear. Every thought.
Every slice of hatred. Every tinge of emotions that shoots through your head. And let it .. live. Not control you, just let it breathe. Let it exist. The pain, the hurt, The love, the hate. Let it go.
You'll be okay.. I promise.
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020 at 9:49 AM UTC
So I'll leave you with this letter.
I'll give you all my love and hope.
Knowing you deserve better.
Knowing heaven is your door and I am the one stopping you from ascending more.
Because you were my angel.
You were my ticket.
You were the reason I never saw the sky as a limit.
I kissed it
Every morning.
I accomplished the impossible like you were the most probable thing I'd ever cherish.
You were the sun and I was the moon and there's no way in hell I'd ever have currents.
The decisions I've made make you feel worthless.
Even when all I wanted to do was make you feel the earth surface.
I wanted too see you shine.
I wanted your love twice.
I wanted so much but I'll have to settle with the mice.
I'll have to settle with every mistake I've made.
I'll leave you the key so you can bury this case.
So I can leave this place.
So you never have to live with my mistakes.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye.
Aug 9, 2019
Aug 9, 2019 at 3:25 AM UTC
To live with a purpose takes more effort than they tell you.
Saying it come naturally might just nationally be the biggest lie.
When passions strikes you ride the wave, because it just comes and go's it never stays.
The way we make ourselves so vulernable.
Putting our own lives at stake to take place in a dust bunny we call history.
To stare and be amazed in aw we praise.
Those who rise with this struggle and come out with strength.
Riding that passion till it dropps you off straight.
Straight into the waves of life.
So you try to swim back to shore, and look back realizing theres nothing more.
They don't tell you when you start the descent you have to lose everything.
They just tell you to let go when you fall.
Hoping that we all,
Understand this life with half meant sentances disguised as fortunes.
Make it yours and live on your own.
But what does that mean.
You'll spend your whole life searching for something greater than yourself just to find out you are the greatness sewed in every seam.
And you live your life thinking it could be all a lie.
Its just one great big comply after comply.
So you lose sight. You might even forget how to breathe.
You might scratch at the surface just to remember the peak.
You might hope every night that the sunsets in remembrance.
So when you wake up at least something was consistent.
It's a daunting task.
Living for yourself.
But just remember,
You're the only one who'll take care of you when everyone's left.
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 9:22 PM UTC
I've run our of reason to care
There's not much of a point for anything anymore.
Everything seems so mute of lost pursuit I'm not in the mood to deal with life.
I can't handle this love these fights.
I'm starting to lose sight of what's wrong vs what's right.
Not that I ever had a good vision to start with.
The lines are blurred and my time is stirred.
I hate the way I feel,
Alone and empty.
I don't know what it'll take to feel the same way, before they left me.
For now I'll forget the feeling.
I'll ignore the fore warning the message the epics.
I'll try to forward a future.
And hope I can see past this hate.
Even if it's destined to be my fate.
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 8, 2019 at 11:00 PM UTC
I think i rushed it
I think i blew it
Sky high and right when i thought i knew it.
It was too easy.
To fall in love.
I should've seen it and learned from my past.
I didn't mean to make it rush.
I just was so tired of being alone.
I wish i could tell you these words.
I wish things were different.
I wish i learned.
I wish it was different.
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 12:57 PM UTC
Because you come in the hum of a familiar song.
It's always at night and it lingers just to terrify my fright.
I'm not concerned with how it sounds, but why it won't go away.
Why most songs I know refuse to leave and only worsen when they stay.
It's never intentional but the lack of intent it inflects and infects the left over flesh I have revealed from these wounds left.
Because if I wear my emotions on my sleeves then there's not enough skin left to even bruise.
I don't hold the past far above my head,
So I don't understand why I believe parts of me are dead.
I just know when I was with you is when I felt so alive.
So why can't I seem to feel that way again.
So it's all the same and I listen to the past to feel the pain, but my nerves don't react the same because I live in the present so why won't the pensions dissolve I have resolve I got it solved I'm sick of this hole.
And the candle burns at both ends.
Mending the emotions and the forgetful notions of hopes sent.
I just wish I had answers, but the more I ask the more I have questions.
It seeme like life wants me to stay guessin, or at least I can fool it and pretend.
By learning nothing and staying silent and bearing this suffering when I hear your song end.
So it never does.
Even after I fall in love.
Maybe all wounds heal the same way, but others tend to stay longer than they'd like to explain.
Because being in love with you was a vacant room, I lived idly through day by day.
The warm colors were the only other reasons I had to live for back then.
When food had no taste, but your lips stained my face and I could never hope to find that same place, or purpose in anyone else.
So please don't leave a stain.
Next time I let someone in I won't beg them to stay or throw a parade when they say our times up and the only love I'll leave you with is lies.
So I'll part my finally goodbyes when I've grown and shown you all that I'm no longer.
Founder and stronger.
I choose to live in the present.
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 11:03 PM UTC
I had wishes of me and you in the future.
I had many beautiful dreams and actions that now falter.
I'm not sure what to feel right now as I am with most things.
If anything it hurts to feel right now. So all I can do is ignore the pain.
You were everything I wished for and more.
You were life itself before opening that god **** closet door.
I had high hopes before drowning on these high seas.
Now I only see the negative things wrong with me.
And I know it's not about being better.
I just know its about your ***
I get that maybe I'm being selfish.
I just wanted to give you everything I don't have yet.
You filled me with motivation and my heart rises to your sunset.
But now you leave my earth.
And I'll cry as this everlasting moon sets.
Good bye my sweet alibi I'll live with you forever.
I'll always remmeber the time.
When I thought I could have you forever.
I guess for now I'll just love the sky.
Hoping it rains acid.
I'd rather disintegrate slowly, than be hurt and remember false passion.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 12:50 AM UTC
Acceptance.
An empty highway filled with joy.
The pieces of the sky that hold it together, so when the clouds don't form it won't fall on everyone's heads.
Echoes.
Shouting from the top of the mountains, OBSCENITIES that involve no second thought, because there's that much hope put before your vocal chords scream that tune of free expression covered by the waterfall.
Warm hands.
Soft, quiet hands, that speak thier own language. Innocently and unknowingly.
Wilfully selfless yet triant.
Deceased.
Frail to the touch, every bone in your body whispers.
Every moment SHOUTS,
Love without a conscious.
So it becomes natural and just.
Glow, radiate, expire, aspire, hope, joy, feel.
Feel. There's nothing more important.
Be true to yourself.
Hold that dear like if not for as much you'd freeze in the snow at the daybreak of summer.
To catch yourself before the world sees you cold.
Be free.
Express it please.
Love.
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 6:19 AM UTC
Help me smile again
The inks running thin while the sun sets and pins jab at my head.
A needle was never found in the hay stack so it just sank in my memory bank.
The lakes, the streams, the rivers of endless memories of you and me.
The chemicals released when you kissed me.
It was more than nothing like lava flowing, scortching everything in it's path.
Like my whole body was turning to ash and I was just waiting, melting slowly.
Help me smile again.
On the otherside of the rainbow, nobody knows the sights as sore as your eyes the night we fought for the first time.
And the butterflies flew, even with clipped wings.
It was a never ending storm, signaling for the light tower in the thickest of fog, the ray of hope never peaked its eyes or ever hollard for a sign of life.
We sunk that night.
And i think im still drowning.
Calling for land, searching for signs of life, hoping to grow wings like the birds alluding nearby land, before this wooden life raft gives out from underneath me.
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 4:22 AM UTC