You look at me
like you've already decided something,
and i feel it settle under my skin
before i can even ask
what it is.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:44 AM UTC
I watered something dead
just to feel useful-
called it love
because admitting the truth
would've meant stopping.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:38 AM UTC
I dressed the bars in skin,
called it mine-
hung mirrors like curtains
so i wouldn't notice
i've never once stepped out out it.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:35 AM UTC
You pick at your skin,
like it's something that can be undone.
Like my hands were only dust
that settled too long in one place.
Fingertips searching for erasure,
for a clean version of yourself
that never knew me-
never leaned into the warmth,
never stayed.
But memory isn't so shallow.
It doesn't live only on the surface,
doesn't flake away
with every restless motion.
It lingers-
in the quiet spaces between breaths,
in the way you hesitate
before touching your own reflection.
You can try to peel me away,
layer by careful layer,
but i was never just your skin.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:32 AM UTC
They trained my hands to hold a sword with certainty,
but never taught me what to do
when they long for yours.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 5:24 AM UTC
So how can you call me a good man,
When I hate myself enough
To take my life,
to dismantle the architecture of my days
just to see if the noise finally stops.
You look at me and see something solid.
You hand me grace like it’s my birthright,
speaking of my kindness,
my steady hands.
But you don't hear the static in the quiet hours.
You don't feel the sheer exhaustion
of dragging this heavy shadow through the daylight,
pretending it belongs to someone else.
You call me good,
and I am left choking on the distance
between the hopeful reflection in your eyes
and the ruin in my own.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 11:29 PM UTC
The throat tightens.
Thumbs strike glass,
spilling the ugly, bleeding mess
I’ve been choking on for weeks.
I stare at the block of letters—
the anger, the begging, the open nerve.
My finger hovers. My chest caves.
Whatever feelings rush through me,
the fear of the after is always louder.
I hold the backspace key,
watching it eat the honesty, letter by letter.
The screen goes dark.
The room goes quiet.
I am left sitting here,
heavy with everything I couldn't say.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 11:28 PM UTC
Swing the hammer with intention;
let the impact be a clean, sudden shock.
I am tired of the hairline fractures,
the spiderwebbing doubts that hold
but do not heal.
Do not leave the edges jagged.
Do not leave a single shard
large enough to catch the light
or draw blood from a wandering hand.
Apply the weight of your heels.
Press until the geometry of "us" is lost,
until the sharp architecture of grief
is milled into something soft—
something that can be scattered,
carried by the wind,
or buried in an hourglass
where time doesn't hurt quite so much.
Keep going
until the glint is gone,
and I am finally fine enough
to slip through your fingers
without leaving a mark.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM UTC
Even as the rain
traces cold paths down your face,
the truth of you holds fast.
Your beauty,
stubborn and clear,
remains.
It asks for no fortress.
It refuses to cower behind
a painted wall of foundation.
Just you,
breathing in the downpour,
undisguised and undiminished.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM UTC
Nocturnal,
I’ve always lived in the dark—
not because I chose it,
but because the light
never chose me back.
I learned early
how to make a home
out of quiet,
how to fold myself
into corners
no one else could see.
The night understands things
people don’t—
how a chest can ache
without breaking,
how silence can scream
louder than any voice.
In the dark,
I don’t have to pretend
I’m whole.
I can unravel
thread by thread,
and no one asks me
to stitch it back together.
There’s a kind of honesty here—
sharp,
unforgiving,
but real.
Because in the light
I was always too much,
or never enough—
but in the dark
I just am.
Nocturnal,
with tired eyes
and a heart that learned
to beat softly
so it wouldn’t be heard
when it broke.
And maybe that’s the truth of it—
I didn’t find the dark.
It found me
when nothing else did,
and stayed
when nothing else would.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 11:26 PM UTC
