I let it get away from me.
Instead of just letting things be.
I jumped the gun and shattered someones heart.
After everything settled I knew I had done wrong.
It wasn't supposed to be that way.
I don't know how I can fix this situation.
Is it better to leave it alone?
Is better to say something?
Things were said in anger and I took it to heart.
I thought you would be better off.
I thought you would be okay.
I didn't know that my own mental state caused this.
I didn't know I was so messed up.
I want to go back in time and make it so this didn't happen.
I know I can't.
You always wanted to live by yourself.
I didn't know you would take it so hard.
I didn't know you cared that much.
I wish I could tell you everything in my head.
I don't even know everything.
You deserve better.
You said you felt freedom and confidence without me.
We weren't together.
You said you were tired of dealing with this.
I wish I could tell you everything going on in my heart.
But not even I know.
I wish a lot of things.
I know none of this will help the heartbreak that you feel.
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 7:12 PM UTC
I had it in my sights.
My first right move.
I thought I had it.
Then the dream came crashing down.
One by one
Peel back all the layers.
To get to the heart of it.
Watch it beat and slowly shrivel.
Things were becoming okay.
I had taken blue and I felt right.
It ran out of my system.
I can't seem to make things right.
Will I ever be right?
Will I ever be RIGHT?
Will I ever...
Seeing in blue
Just do it
And don't look back.
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018 at 10:12 PM UTC
It seems to always come to this.
Crying at night, multiple showers.
Getting dressed and leaving at night.
I keep missing the mark.
How do I not see it?
Things are worse then they have ever been.
I feel like I should just leave.
I don't know anymore.
I don't know anything.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
Maybe I'll die like this.
I should give up because it is easy.
I don't do well with hard work.
If I do, you will know you weren't worth it.
You are, maybe just not me.
I just want to die.
Get life over with.
If I do, maybe you can find somebody new.
Let's hope you do.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 3:03 AM UTC
No matter how hard you work...
No matter how much you make...
No matter how much it takes...
It is never enough.
Let me say that again!
It it never enough.
You live your whole life to make as much as possible.
No matter the cost.
Work 3 jobs, work over 60 hours a week.
Only to get a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment.
Because you have to have your own bathroom.
You have to have the best of everything.
You talk about your dream house.
Yet you can't even afford to fix up the house you live in.
Talk about how many people are going to leave you money when they die.
Why?
To talk about how rich you'll be.
Here I am.
Scraping by.
In a cheap apartment.
Barely afford to get groceries.
But you know it's no skin off my back.
I have something way better than being rich.
At least I have a place to live and a job.
I have a girlfriend who I would die for.
Some things are better than money.
I am glad I know this.
I am glad I don't run in circles for it.
Life is what you make it.
If that's what you make it about, that's okay.
I choose to believe there is more to life than that.
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 12:13 AM UTC
The fear that is always there in the back of your head.
Spreading fast to the heart, as your awareness raises.
Is better to ride it out or bottle it up?
The feeling comes in so fast you barely have time to breathe.
Every possible outcome going through your mind.
Not sure where to stop it.
Then you know you should trust.
But the fear is always there.
Ready to make waves in the calm ocean.
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 2:48 PM UTC
Commitment to another so commonly thrown away.
For what? So you can still live like a college student.
Dedicated years of your life to one person.
Just to decide after making it official.
This wasn't what you wanted.
While one heart is broken and trying to move forward.
You party, dance, drink, take happy selfies.
No one knows what happened.
Just it did.
To someone who did their best to make you happy.
You turn around and throw it back.
You love the center stage.
I wonder if there will be regrets.
I sure do hope so.
When it's too late.
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 30, 2018 at 12:59 PM UTC
Friends or lovers?
It doesn't work that way.
We can be one or the other.
Both doesn't happen.
Why can't we?
Why can't we?
Our closeness only last until tick of the clock.
We could try to break all the clocks.
Hope the time never stops.
We would succeed until the light in the sky brighten.
We may as well be detached strangers living in the same space.
We try so hard only for it to start all over again.
We will break the cycle when I open the floodgates.
Let all those emotions come crashing down.
Are we friends or lovers?
Are we friends?
Are we lovers?
Are we?
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 10:26 AM UTC
I have this feeling that is fire.
I feel it as it grows wild.
It connects to many things.
As does the power of life.
That power struggle will cease, right?
Fumbling through the world.
Setting everything a blaze.
I want to harness this flame.
I want to use it to light my way.
Light the beacons through my brain.
Let the cobwebs burn.
See through the haze.
The parts of my brain that have been away.
The part of my soul that is wasted away.
I have found the light and will let it lead the way.
The path I have found hasn't lead me astray.
I will find the secret to open the gate.
To the fire inside of me.
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018 at 11:58 PM UTC
You took my right to speak.
Pulled the words out of my mouth.
Every sentence overflow with your sound.
I whisper instead.
Still yet, you interject.
Now there is no point.
For you will always find a way.
So sweet are the days you are away.
For no one's words are drowned out.
We all hear each other just fine.
Until you start to speak and we roll our eyes.
You will never hear our sighs.
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 6:23 PM UTC
Dear trolls,
Just so you know, your comments don't mean much.
You think you know something to be true.
Well hate to break it to you, but you're wrong.
Everything you think you know is way off base.
I thought I should let you know.
We do this for entertainment sake.
So be confused but don't hate.
Sincerely,
Bexis
P.S. This is a poetry site not Facebook it should be about the art.
P.S.S I like tacos
P.S.S.S Hi!
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC