You were the younger sibling
to those who dwelled before you,
already known to heaven.
I lost count of the losses, my dear,
but God never did.
He counted every hope I buried,
every future I rehearsed in silence.
He knows how fiercely I adored you,
how carefully I held your life
inside my dreams and plans.
You were a miracle.
No clinics, no white coats,
no measured hope.
not like the other times.
This time, everything felt right.
Just Mum and Daddy,
and one blessed night.
I knew it in my body
before language could catch it.
After eight years of waiting,
the knowing arrived quietly,
soft, certain, undeniable.
As if my body remembered
what my heart had almost stopped believing.
For a moment,
the dream leaked into reality:
appointments pencilled in,
your dad’s smile,
ordinary moments suddenly sacred.
And then
your heartbeat.
Your heartbeat—
The one I thought was strong,
began to slow.
Mine fractured with it.
A beat out of tempo,
encased by a pressure
that begged to suffocate.
You joined your siblings.
I joined despair—
reciting that heartbeat in my mind
like a prayer,
begging faith itself
not to blur you into loss,
not to let your memory dissolve
among the others
as grief learned my name.
Dec 23, 2025
Dec 23, 2025 at 6:41 AM UTC
The news said it would be sunny,
Yet the sky is back by clouds.
Usually everything around me is all happy and aloud.
Yet there is not a whisper
not a sound.
Should I be worried?
Should I take that run?
Is it safe here?
Or
has something gone wrong?
The bird are chirping now,
Yet they resemble more like screams.
Why is the air now dirty,
When is has always been so clean!
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 6:14 AM UTC
Spring has come around,
Yet there isn't any colour.
The walls are rumbling,
Yet the windows do not shatter.
My feet are planted firmly on the ground,
Yet I feel like I am floating.
What has happen?
What has become?
I was told all is fine,
Yet I want to run.
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 6:03 AM UTC
Linger in my presence,
Be a burden as it may.
I need you more then ever,
Just put the fist away.
I plea with you my devil,
One night that we could revel.
Just like the old days,
To hold me with that bold gaze.
Accompany me in my mundane life,
Make this day feel alright.
Talk to me tomorrow,
Just please remove this sorrow.
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 12:11 AM UTC
Our love is like quick sand.
Looks so innocent from the out side, so safe.
Little did I know it was eager to drag me under it's depths.
Manipulated my thoughts,
telling me to fight for this love.
But quick sand feeds of this struggle.
Lives on our problems , changes what we once percieved truth.
So now I just sink , in this love.
Holding your unsettled hand on the way down.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 7:18 PM UTC
Door now closed,
Like my pain within,
Holding back tremendous sin.
Body still,
Heart real slow,
Wish that I may be let go.
Staring at that little crack,
Seeing that it sees me back.
If I run,
will it follow.
All my pain and all my sorrow.
Can I escape this place within,
Where doors are lock with iron bars.
With cracks that flaunt their nasty scares.
Where I have always been,
The place I'v always known.
This place my brain, is no longer home.
I need to be let free.
So leave me be.
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 11:51 PM UTC
How I long to be lonely, with out truly being alone.
but my mind aches with confusion.
The people are there, with kind words,
occasional actions and Yet still I am feeling isolated from connection.
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 9:02 PM UTC
Another year, another night.
Darkness is depressions light.
Numbness' is its new sound track.
With confused emotions last years attack.
Now to my alarm, full of dismay
It uncovers my mental doomsdays'.
Numbness is left me with out my emotions at all,
Now I'm the darkness it resides in.
With out emotions to confide in,
Am I even living when I feel dead?
Should I go and hang this head?
Or instead Am I dreaming my doomsday dreads?
For all I know , I'm numb.
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 7:53 PM UTC
Anger scorches like sun inside me.
Every attempt of peace,
Is met with war drums and battle cries.
I dry up all the good emotions from my closest companions.
Burn them till there body resembles a drought affected flower.
My tears then fall like the rain , saying its to late to resolve the 3rd degree, fatal burns.
Although they watch on in indescribable pain ,
for they see the forsaken flood ahead.
My clouds have covered them with guilt.
Which should be mine and only mine!
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 3:34 AM UTC
At square one again.
All the improvement is in the past.
Weak mined , aching body and fragile heart.
Why did I loose progress fast?
Deadly thoughts, worse are the actions, that grasp me once more.
Tell me how to escape my self, so I can be free for this hell.
It urgent, an emergency but there no life line that can help.
The only line I think of, is that hanging rope.
Sorry for my honestly.
I know its hard to take, your ears are use to sugar coated sentences,
dripping in misleading words and expressions of false satisfaction regarding life.
Back to square one but this time I notice the cage that will never let me move forward again.
I have no key, no help and no way out.
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 10, 2016 at 9:04 PM UTC