I will sing to the world
If that is the only way you can hear me...
I will pass through the world
If that is the only way I can find you...
I will pray to the world
If that is the only way you can answer me...
But one thing I will never do is destroy my world
even if that is the only way you will come running back to me...
Dec 31, 2019
Dec 31, 2019 at 10:03 AM UTC
The nights I spent wishing upon the stars
The days I spent dreaming of my fairytale ending
The times I counted hoping it will move faster
Where is the little child in me? I have to find her!
The nights I stared at the moon hoping to reach it
The days I looked forward to having my own story
The times I wished growing up will be faster
Where is the little child in me? I most definitely have to find her!
That story my mother would tell
About only two types of people in the world
The bad people who are always bad
The good people who are always good
And me who would only choose the way of the good
Where is the little child in me? I must find her!
Tonight I look up to the stars, with no wishes to send afar
All the thousands of wishes I sent so far
All stolen by the wind of time
Tonight I look up the stars, with no wishes at all
Where is the little child in me? Where do I find her?
Today I woke up in haste
Eyes wide opened from the dream of terror
Reminding me of all that has been robbed of me by failure
My fairytale washed away by the spread of sad ending
Where is the little child in me? I am yet to find her!
The clock ticks at me one second at a time
Slower than a minute but too fast to spare a glance
My hope of catching up with it forgone
By seconds I waste away trying to stop it
Where is the little child in me? What must I do to find her?
I look at the moon from my broken window
So far away from me but still shines
Mocking my lack of power to hide from it
With every step, I take towards it, I fall thousands of steps away
Where is the little child in me? I have tried but still can't find her!
My story becomes the perfect story of strength
Only in the head of my own, heard with my ears
Story of how I have no chance of survival in the world without eyes
The only ones interested in my sad endings are ones waiting to ridicule me
Where is the little child in me? Have you seen her around?
I halt every time I hear the sound of the jingle bells
Hoping to stop time from playing with numbers
Numbers that keep adding up to my age
Every day goes in the blink of an eye, Yesterday I want to bring back
Where is the little child in me? Can time bring her back?
Remember that story my mother told me?
About only two types of people in the world
The bad and the good people
Why did she fail to tell me?
There were other types o people?
I am the type that lives in the future, Hopes in the past but fails in the present...
Oh, where is the child in me?
If only wishes can me made,
Dreams can be realized,
And Time can be stopped
I will find that girl today...
Will I ever succeed? I wonder.
Dec 31, 2019
Dec 31, 2019 at 9:59 AM UTC
I asked for you, just before you showed up
When you appeared, you got me confused
And I began to wonder, can this actually be true?
Maybe I was too lost in my imagination, and you are just indeed a figment of it
Letters became words and then sentences
and my anxiety grew deeper
Then my thought wandered, what if this is really true?
Maybe I was too lost in my past, and you were just a safe haven for me
That day approached very slowly
My wired brain began to fear the disappointment
I start to ask myself, What if I don't like you?
Maybe I was too lost in my fears, and you were going to be too good to comprehend
Early December came like a plague
The thought of you under the same sun made me flutter
Then my heart gently pounded, as I see your face appear from the dark
You are in fact a figment of my imagination
Giving me a safe haven to shield me away from my hideous past
But somehow, You had become a reality that was too good to comprehend
Now I ask you, was I a figment of your imagination as well?
Or perhaps, that reality you were searching for?
I wonder...
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 11:19 AM UTC
He appears to meet all the throbbing needs of my heart
deep within my long lost desires
My pulsating veins pushing through for a fight
But still, I decided to start, to start that struggle
Only based on the fact that he is too perfect
Yeah, He is, but what about the thousand miles between?
Distance and time brings us to our knees at night
as we hold our hands up high
wishing for a better way to feel
hoping that somehow the universe will shrink
He carried my heart too perfectly
Yeah, He did, but what about the thousand miles between?
All these sweet words I use
Just to describe how in love I thought I was
With the idea of a flawless story, this would be
Or the perfect stillborn we continue to nurture
We held on to each other too strongly
Yeah, We did, but with the thousand miles between, its time to let go.
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 10:11 AM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if the wishes I made to the night stars are being heard by the gods of the time
I wonder if wishes are being granted for other people while I am being left behind to watch
In the obscurity of the night as I lay in my bed
Heart as hard as the mountain rock that fell to the shore of the sea
Head as heavy as the elephant's feet on the little shoulder of the soldier ant
My mind filled up with the possibility of an endless time of joy
Yet worry creeps in like the night shadow beneath my feet
Hiding from the eyes yet still dominating my being
My body shivers in fear of the unknown
Will my wishes be granted by the gods of time? I still wonder
In the uncertainty of the day as I walk the grounds of earth
Hands in my pocket to keep them from fidgeting and failing
My eyes opened to the world yet so blind I could see no one
The blessing of a new day offers promises of grace and beauty
Yet worry creeps in again
Just like the day shadow beneath my feet
Only this time, it is confident, dark and ready to obliterate hope
As it stares me in the eyes and follows my every footstep
Again I wonder, Will my wishes be granted by the gods of time?
Tonight, I will make my wish again
Tonight, I will face my worries head on
Tonight, I will face the gods of time
Tonight, I will get my wishes granted...
So wait on my little shadow of worry
Soon, I will take my steps without you.
Soon, I will shut my eyes without you.
Soon, I will fail to remember you even existed.
Tonight, I break out of your SPELL...
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 11:56 AM UTC
For all the memories and good moments
Thank you... Goodbye
Our first gaze started the spark
So bright it sent ripples down my veins
It lasted for what felt like an eternal second
Yet it was very subtle and innocent..
Room was big enough for all
But I could never seem to escape
The very wave you sent my way
It left my heart beating past its threshold
Not only the eyes could see it
The ears where a witness
To the overly loud confidence, we had
In the future that would appear invisible now
We became one and together
But our hearts tore away from our soul
leaving us empty with doubts
Doubts that this reality was nothing but a dream
Fear eluded from our once filled hearts
Graciously taking over all the perfection we saw
The spark that light our way ahead
Gradually lost its current to our darkness
We created an empty shell of promises
An open soul to doubts
A yearning heart to lies
and bright eyes to darkness
For a brief moment, we found ourselves
For a minute the search was over
For a split second, we lost our chance
For an eternity we will always remember
For all the pain and failed promises
Thank you... Goodbye
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 11, 2019 at 10:15 AM UTC