I'm usually good with words, but you took them all away.
The raw desire I have for you surpasses every feeling I've known.
The second our lips met, thousands of thoughts erupted in my brain.
Then, only one thought remained; it was you and I.
Us against the world.
In that moment, I knew what it was to feel again.
You've given me that.
I gave up on everyone & found my own happiness.
You made me believe in people & in love.
I realize now that you add to my happiness.
At first, I kept trying to push you away.
I guess that was some pathetic attempt to postpone my vulnerability.
When I simply couldn't push any longer, I let the feelings envelop me.
Even though uncertainty plagued every moment, I knew one thing;
I wanted every part of you.
Even the things I could never anticipate.
Every silly moment when you bite my face.
Every deep thought about existence or purpose.
Every unspoken "I love you" that beams from your eyes.
Every confusing brow furrow when you're lost in that beautiful mind.
Every dramatic outburst and expression of passion.
Every lazy day we lie around in bed for hours.
Every seemingly insignificant part of you captivates me.
You're everything I want.
You're all I've ever wanted, but didn't know was real.
I never thought you'd come into my life, but I'm forever grateful you did.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for us, my dear.
May 27, 2017
May 27, 2017 at 10:45 PM UTC
We say I love you
A thousand different times
But so much more is said
When your eyes meet mine
May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 9:06 AM UTC
I feel the drumming of my heart
Sometimes that's enough
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 11:41 PM UTC
I write words of hope for others, yes
But, truth be known
It's also for myself
The sanguine, the passion
It's mostly for me
You see, I hate all that I am
All that I was
All that I am becoming
I hate it
So I write
I write what I feel
Not what I am
I write what I wish were true
I write what I long for
I write because if I didn't
Tell me, who would?
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 1:34 AM UTC
I lie awake in thought
A fractured shell of what I once was
Thinking about what could have been
Thinking about what never was
Contemplating what I want in life
I now realize it's simply you
But I also know that's what I can't have
I'm going to live in discontent
I'll never find someone I love like you
I'll have to love someone else differently
Maybe the next person I love will finally be me
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 3:27 AM UTC
Oh it was good back then
Let me begin by saying
It was good
and never again
I was afraid to step outside
I never committed intellectual suicide
I never prayed but for myself
He needed more help than love or wealth
It was good then
I didn't know much
I couldn't feel pain
Or pain as such
But pain for pain's sake is the beginning and end
Boredom only after to boredom will lend
I was afraid yes of everything
And anything that said my name
For fear of nothing has fear to blame
Oh but once again
It was good back then
I wanted more and more I got
And with pride and faith and love forgot
Still I went with a bleeding heart
Thinking I should play my part
And be a part of life as an uneasy act
With numbed awareness too dull to react
Feeling nothing but for tomorrow's wake
Nothing there but for tomorrow's sake
And knowing better I know not how
But to be and be me right now
And knowing better later once again
Sighing softly," it was good back then"
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 10:36 PM UTC
Foreign emotions
Unwelcome thoughts
Cynical humans
Knuckled bones
Tempestuous relationships
Hardened hearts
Imprisoned potential
Slanderous tongues
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 10:12 PM UTC
*Suppress the memory
Embrace the illusion
Conquer the fear
Erase the past
Destroy the enemy
Encapsulate the insanity*
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 9:52 PM UTC
Knife as a brush, skin as the easel. With every stroke emotions run red. All she can do is hate. In fact, she hates everything about her life.
She hates it all now. She couldn't be more confused. No one understands how she feels. No one cares. They only claim to so they don't feel bad about themselves. They don't want to be around her. They don't love her for being who she is. They try to change her. They try to save her. But she doesn't need saving. She needs someone to accept her as she is, and just love her. But she doesn't need some pointless infatuation, no. She needs true love. She wants it all to go away, but with no real reason. There must be more to this life than what she sees. There must be an existence somewhere where she won't feel so alone. She's so beautiful, but she just can't see it. No matter what people say, she can't believe them. She always helps others and tells them they are important, but is unable to see that she, herself, is so precious. She can never allow herself to be loved because she thinks she's unlovable. Or maybe it's that she thinks she's not worth loving. She's so beautiful, yet so ravaged. Ravaged by her own thoughts and how other people see her. People can be so cruel, but sometimes, she is the cruelest. The depravity of humankind is something one can only truly understand once they crawl inside their own skin and make a home there. Once they get to that place, there is nowhere to go but up.
Run. Just run. Run as fast as you can towards what your heart says. No, you can't escape, but as you run from yourself, you run towards hope. And that hope will help protect you from yourself. As you run from yourself, you live your life. When you find your true self once again is when you die. You are born as you, and through life you get away from that. And then, before you die, you connect with yourself again. But what is death? Is it a dream, is it a trance? It's something morbidly beautiful because we don't understand it. Fear of death is cliché. To embrace death is uncommon and so much more fun. This is because when you embrace death, you truly learn to live. Death is the unknown thing that allows us to realize we actually lived. This is a good thing, which means death is good. Death comes for us all, and not knowing when he is coming makes his arrival so much more special. Meeting death on one's own terms seems somewhat impolite. Death comes as a gentleman to escort you. Running to meet him is only going to damage your dress and shoes.
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015 at 7:41 PM UTC
I groan as I fumble in bed
Collapse over the rail as I depart
When my feet hit the floor
Every part of my legs ache
I'm not supposed to hurt
I'm in the prime of my life
What is wrong with my body
Then again, what has ever been right
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC