Night after night
in echo-less jars my screams trapping
one after the other counting
on a shelf of shame storing
By the threads of realisations
Suffocating
Wondering
How did it go that far?
My screams trapping in jars
Scared the truth will come out
The truth of you
of my ignorance
of my wasted IQ scores
of how self-love in chapter number 6 was retracted
on how my own voice MUTED
My identity ERASED
For yours to be written as the main character of an abusive ****** mystery
The ****** of my pride
I witnessed
18 months
In your dungeon of lies trapped
Willingly...
Or Not
Nailed down by my own traumas
to a ground of your dismissiveness
nailed down under your feet
for your validation begging
in drought living
waiting for the mercy of the sporadic showers of love bombs
I didn't know I can be broken that many times
till I met you
Like a shapeshifter, 206 bones I broke
In the name of your entertainment
Consistently strained by the:
you’re not good enough
consciously thinking you'll change
unconsciously thinking that's All I deserve
And that's what scientists call submission
Submission to your mental manipulative ways
In disgust I dwell
Ashamed for being a fool
Or Not
By my own wounded child
strapped to the bed sheets that consistently
warned me about you
how every time you gently kissed me goodbye
choosing to leave me doubting myself worth
wondering how can I ever be good enough for you to stay
Yet I called you back
Willingly
or Not
Remember how
in milk and honey each insult you dipped
How in 50 roses your derogatory pet names you carefully hid
Your chains you weld tighter
After each breakup
Unconsciously it's whatever you want
it's every yes where it was supposed to be no
in pain you left me for days
only to come back for more
In pain I lived willingly
Or Not
My only crime that I was Desperate to be Loved
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:31 PM UTC
You desire the Purity of lakes
the Lightness of clouds
She's the naked truth
the war soldiers give up on
she is the Heaviness of black clouds
the Rain inside
You recklessly dance on her hips
step after step
where ships once were wrecked
Mind your dancing steps
mind the landmines
some might Viciously explode
some into rainbows never Explained
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 6:41 PM UTC
He is the sinner, the lover, the truth I knew
He is the right and wrong combined
I want to write till the ink in my pen dries
Drown in his arms... left abandoned without saving
Drown in safety, peace, in forbidden dreams.
Say my name
Wipe my tears
kiss my thoughts
Leave me hanging wishing for more
Leave me to drown
Disapear between yours arms
Between the blurred lines
Get lost in vagueness never defined
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 24, 2017 at 9:21 AM UTC
Should I Break the silence into pieces?
shorten the Distance?
Three little words
would they Fill the void?
would my heart Beat again?
Numb
Vacant
Silent
Can you Hear the whispers?
the waves on Mars
the sun Kissing the sky
can you Hear the clouds missing the rain?
Listen!
Three little words
breaking my Silence into pieces
I
Miss
You
Dec 13, 2017
Dec 13, 2017 at 3:04 AM UTC
You instigate the rattlesnake
the storm within, under the bones
You feed on my fears then
under the rain your mouth you open
your thirst you quench
You smile when I cry. think about that
the guilt you hug away
in the pieces of my broken spirit, you search for her
I am not her
I am not her
Keep your scars at bay
it's time to love & headway
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 2:25 AM UTC
Do you believe in signs
in the colours I breathe
can you read my lips
see the rainbows around my hips
Take a step, hold my hand
hear the braided notes in the air
it's time to dance, to the melody of joy
above the clouds, dangling from the stars
Sing out loud
Hold my hand
Can you see the sun
Can you see the moon
The love, the passion coloured in maroon
Do you believe in signs
in the colours I breath
can you read my lips
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 1:26 PM UTC
It disappears, gone
into particles it dissolves
lighter, flowing
To suddenly return
into the rotten cracks of her soul
HEAVIER yet again
into the cracks
it dissolves with the darkness it unites
Let it slide, let it slide
till the next season, let it slide
to the bottom
It Hits and Hides
secretly whispers into her mind
counting the days till it's "cherry blossom" time
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 7:46 AM UTC
Dear lover, friend and foe
Sprinkle some of that denial
on my open wounds.
Prevent them from healing -
stir my past traumas;
mix them with my present sorrows...
Stir well till my -
inner peace boils eagerly
for a splash...
of your confusing behaviors.
Your exit plan -
smartly chops your goodbyes.
Take a sip and try the taste
of your drama
of your intentions
and future karma
- Bon appetit
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 3:37 AM UTC
“In sickness and health,
till death do us part.”
The sweetest curse of them all;
not what occurs to your minds,
a bond beyond the galaxies,
beyond the rings, papers & facilities.
Not the matters of the heart,
the matter of the spiritual worlds connecting;
singing to the melodies
of two souls entwining
their stories -
to a carpet of twinkling stars.
There, their bleeding scars -
they healed,
in sickness and health,
around the 13 moons
of friendship they smiled.
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 10:33 AM UTC
She is barefoot, running
Brushing the dewy grass, the golden sun strings threading.
The moon hugging
Out of the fog, at last. Under the rain Celebrating.
Drip, drop
Her sorrows she sees
On her skin Sliding
Let the gravity takes its course
Drip, drop to the river they go
The flood of thoughts against the stream, they dissolve
Under the water, her breath she holds
Ecstasy for milliseconds, she folds
There goes the fish. There the sorrows go
Drip, drop
Out of the fog, she goes
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 2:48 AM UTC