Swans_Sude - Hello Poetry

I cut my hair stopped talking to my friends stopped watching that show stopped going out I acted how you liked And I was silent about the things you didn’t I grew apart from someone I knew for 13 years I stopped eating Stopped sleeping I obsessed with my self of how “it’s so funny” that I waited for your call even when I hung up I got quite I didn’t talk for months I was silent that birthday. Turning into a stranger who lived in my skin Always listening I spent all my silence reading a dozen books about psychology “There must be something wrong with me” From that point on I couldn’t hang onto people any longer I could talk to people but it seemed never “friends” Bearly ‘friendly’ I couldn’t eat once again I couldn’t feel pain It felt like I couldn’t do anything I shattered my self Just to feel ‘anything.’.

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Feb 25

Feb 25, 2026 at 11:26 PM UTC

Glass Doesnt Shatter Itself

I cut my hair stopped talking to my friends stopped watching that show stopped going out I acted how you liked And I was silent about the things you didn’t I grew apart from someone I knew for 13 years I stopped eating Stopped sleeping I obsessed with my self of how “it’s so funny” that I waited for your call even when I hung up I got quite I didn’t talk for months I was silent that birthday. Turning into a stranger who lived in my skin Always listening I spent all my silence reading a dozen books about psychology “There must be something wrong with me” From that point on I couldn’t hang onto people any longer I could talk to people but it seemed never “friends” Bearly ‘friendly’ I couldn’t eat once again I couldn’t feel pain It felt like I couldn’t do anything I shattered my self Just to feel ‘anything.’.

27

I have always been helpful. I still remain to be. The adults growing up always said ”she’s such a joy to have around what a great girl” I shared everything I had I was more than happy to share any or all of my things for all of my life I was five listening to whatever my family wanted My food, a toy, a blanket I was using, anything. As a teenager me and my two sisters continued to grow apart They were always closer with one other Then I ever was with a single one We were only 2 years apart from each other. Even when I was five I was the way I was because I felt like no one ever wanted me around So maybe if I gave myself they would I remember my oldest sister telling me to go hide in a box I would ask why and it would be a reply of “Just. because. I want you to” . It never felt lonely It might of been I never was I was always kept company by the thoughts in my head Of “How do I get my people to want me around”. I remember being 14 and asking my sister if she wanted Some food I was making She said she didn’t not so I only made one portion for my self Then I gave it to her and started over when she got hungry. This process repeated for years with my sisters even my mother joined This didn’t feel like a problem with my friends I was more than happy to go to your car and grab your phone To give anyone anything for events I don’t know why I loved doing it Maybe it might be my fault for giving up everything for I was raised in a world where everything was my fault. I was blamed for everything growing up My sisters could say anything and they believed it. Even their friends, mine, our parents No questions asked Sure, I was rightfully accountable maybe WHEN I WAS EIGHT I don’t think people believed in me. I think the worst part of this behavior going on is I scarcely get anything in return I dont really know if I want any benefit from it It makes me happy when I do it for friends. I was never a people pleaser Just a person who didn’t want to be alone and in that I had to find ways to make others think I’m useful.

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Jan 19

Jan 19, 2026 at 1:55 AM UTC

To Be Helpful or To Be Useful

I have always been helpful. I still remain to be. The adults growing up always said ”she’s such a joy to have around what a great girl” I shared everything I had I was more than happy to share any or all of my things for all of my life I was five listening to whatever my family wanted My food, a toy, a blanket I was using, anything. As a teenager me and my two sisters continued to grow apart They were always closer with one other Then I ever was with a single one We were only 2 years apart from each other. Even when I was five I was the way I was because I felt like no one ever wanted me around So maybe if I gave myself they would I remember my oldest sister telling me to go hide in a box I would ask why and it would be a reply of “Just. because. I want you to” . It never felt lonely It might of been I never was I was always kept company by the thoughts in my head Of “How do I get my people to want me around”. I remember being 14 and asking my sister if she wanted Some food I was making She said she didn’t not so I only made one portion for my self Then I gave it to her and started over when she got hungry. This process repeated for years with my sisters even my mother joined This didn’t feel like a problem with my friends I was more than happy to go to your car and grab your phone To give anyone anything for events I don’t know why I loved doing it Maybe it might be my fault for giving up everything for I was raised in a world where everything was my fault. I was blamed for everything growing up My sisters could say anything and they believed it. Even their friends, mine, our parents No questions asked Sure, I was rightfully accountable maybe WHEN I WAS EIGHT I don’t think people believed in me. I think the worst part of this behavior going on is I scarcely get anything in return I dont really know if I want any benefit from it It makes me happy when I do it for friends. I was never a people pleaser Just a person who didn’t want to be alone and in that I had to find ways to make others think I’m useful.

46

I cut my hair stopped talking to my friend groups stopped watching that show stopped going out I acted how you liked And I was silent about the things you didn’t I grew apart from someone I knew for 13 years I stopped eating Stopped sleeping I obsessed with my self of how it’s so funny how I waited for your call even when I hung up I got quite I didn’t talk for 2 months Turning into a stranger who lived in my skin Always listening I spent all my silence reading a dozen books about psychology “There must be something wrong with me” From that point on I couldn’t hang onto people any longer I could talk to people but it seemed never “friends” I couldn’t eat once again I couldn’t feel pain It felt like I couldn’t do anything I shattered my self Just to feel love.

0

Jan 19

Jan 19, 2026 at 12:49 AM UTC

Glass Doesnt Shatter by Itself

I cut my hair stopped talking to my friend groups stopped watching that show stopped going out I acted how you liked And I was silent about the things you didn’t I grew apart from someone I knew for 13 years I stopped eating Stopped sleeping I obsessed with my self of how it’s so funny how I waited for your call even when I hung up I got quite I didn’t talk for 2 months Turning into a stranger who lived in my skin Always listening I spent all my silence reading a dozen books about psychology “There must be something wrong with me” From that point on I couldn’t hang onto people any longer I could talk to people but it seemed never “friends” I couldn’t eat once again I couldn’t feel pain It felt like I couldn’t do anything I shattered my self Just to feel love.

25

“You’re beautiful” His eyebrows form a wistful arch ”Thank you. But what else?” I feel my look begin to sadden “What else?” He widens his eyes as he withdraws ”what else” the question repeats as it seems to echo in the walls of my head It’s like I can almost feel the bitterness in his remark He repeats me as if that’s the most scurrilous thing a female dared to say to him I hold my nod crushing the pulling to prompt his answer I stay there His eyes appear to have nothing behind them any longer “Hm.” I briefly study the ground “Why do I waste my time” I let that thought drift in my head.

0

Jan 13

Jan 13, 2026 at 11:48 AM UTC

Beauty

“You’re beautiful” His eyebrows form a wistful arch ”Thank you. But what else?” I feel my look begin to sadden “What else?” He widens his eyes as he withdraws ”what else” the question repeats as it seems to echo in the walls of my head It’s like I can almost feel the bitterness in his remark He repeats me as if that’s the most scurrilous thing a female dared to say to him I hold my nod crushing the pulling to prompt his answer I stay there His eyes appear to have nothing behind them any longer “Hm.” I briefly study the ground “Why do I waste my time” I let that thought drift in my head.

13

I remember when I felt real I remember when I felt I could do no wrong And then I never did Now I feel like a shell A shell of nothing I can’t do anything right I can’t do anything worth applause All I have left is my feet on the grass I want to live in the times of “My Mindset is Beautiful” I want no doubt I love to speak my mind when people take interest in my speech They tell their family about me With the words of “She’s so peaceful,” I want to feel that way in myself I want the unreal feeling of applause and miracle I want to be the He of life. I want to be a shell of love and peace I want to be earless to the negatives of my shell I want to feel whimsical I want to feel of the times where the shell is peaceful That’s where I want to live and die -Kat.J.K

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Dec 26, 2025

Dec 26, 2025 at 7:03 PM UTC

I Want to Remember

I remember when I felt real I remember when I felt I could do no wrong And then I never did Now I feel like a shell A shell of nothing I can’t do anything right I can’t do anything worth applause All I have left is my feet on the grass I want to live in the times of “My Mindset is Beautiful” I want no doubt I love to speak my mind when people take interest in my speech They tell their family about me With the words of “She’s so peaceful,” I want to feel that way in myself I want the unreal feeling of applause and miracle I want to be the He of life. I want to be a shell of love and peace I want to be earless to the negatives of my shell I want to feel whimsical I want to feel of the times where the shell is peaceful That’s where I want to live and die -Kat.J.K

22

We are prey. We have been prey since elementary. We are still prey to this day. Every drill. Every shooting. Every threat. We are prey. We are born helpless. We live helplessly. Nothing has changed. We live in fear of each other. We live in fear of the reality of being prey. Isn’t it crazy to know what it feels like to be hunted? We are not deer. We are not bears. We are nothing but power-hungry animals. This is not a message of “Just be kind,”. But to never accept. To never normalize This Society. You either live in fear. Or you're part of the fear. -Kat.J.K

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Nov 26, 2025

Nov 26, 2025 at 7:19 PM UTC

To Know What It Feels Like to be Hunted.

We are prey. We have been prey since elementary. We are still prey to this day. Every drill. Every shooting. Every threat. We are prey. We are born helpless. We live helplessly. Nothing has changed. We live in fear of each other. We live in fear of the reality of being prey. Isn’t it crazy to know what it feels like to be hunted? We are not deer. We are not bears. We are nothing but power-hungry animals. This is not a message of “Just be kind,”. But to never accept. To never normalize This Society. You either live in fear. Or you're part of the fear. -Kat.J.K

23

Nobody Can Tell I Can't Breathe. So I Tell Myself If I Scream These Thoughts. Loud Enough In My Head Maybe Someone. Will Hear Me. I Can't Breathe. Please Can A Single Soul Hear Me? I Feel The 10 Pound Weight On My Heart. And The Thorns Around My Throat. Will I ever be weightless? I Don't Believe People Actually Care. But Then You Can Repeat. My Favorite Things I Forgot I Told You. You Will Always Know Me Better Than Myself. I Can Feel In My Bones You Get Annoyed. Every Single Time I Reply ‘I Don't Know’. I Struggle To Believe You Saying It’s Okay. Is It Really? Do You Only Talk To Me Out Of Pity? Or Is It Really You Care?

0

Sep 21, 2025

Sep 21, 2025 at 10:03 AM UTC

To Breath And Get By

Nobody Can Tell I Can't Breathe. So I Tell Myself If I Scream These Thoughts. Loud Enough In My Head Maybe Someone. Will Hear Me. I Can't Breathe. Please Can A Single Soul Hear Me? I Feel The 10 Pound Weight On My Heart. And The Thorns Around My Throat. Will I ever be weightless? I Don't Believe People Actually Care. But Then You Can Repeat. My Favorite Things I Forgot I Told You. You Will Always Know Me Better Than Myself. I Can Feel In My Bones You Get Annoyed. Every Single Time I Reply ‘I Don't Know’. I Struggle To Believe You Saying It’s Okay. Is It Really? Do You Only Talk To Me Out Of Pity? Or Is It Really You Care?

19

I use to look up to lightning and ask it to give me a sign. Every single time, the unpatterned electricity dazes the sky. I love lighting. It brings me peace. I love lighting. The natural off-pink it paints above I could be killed. and still smile as I sink into a dry sea of pavement. Lightning gives me a sign to keep going. Each mumble and crash it releases Knowing that it will never touch me Sadness and thunder are the like circles overlapping. Both are shaking in grief. As the world seem too much for them The two circles seem to go round and round. Dying down and exploding that appear to go on for hours Some people put their knees to their chest. As the circles whirl around each other Shaking as they drain energy Storms could never go on forever. They may look like they will never end. But they always do I still look up to dry lightning and ask for a sign. Mother Nature kindly responds. You are loved. -K.J.K.

0

May 27, 2025

May 27, 2025 at 12:19 AM UTC

Dry Lightning

I use to look up to lightning and ask it to give me a sign. Every single time, the unpatterned electricity dazes the sky. I love lighting. It brings me peace. I love lighting. The natural off-pink it paints above I could be killed. and still smile as I sink into a dry sea of pavement. Lightning gives me a sign to keep going. Each mumble and crash it releases Knowing that it will never touch me Sadness and thunder are the like circles overlapping. Both are shaking in grief. As the world seem too much for them The two circles seem to go round and round. Dying down and exploding that appear to go on for hours Some people put their knees to their chest. As the circles whirl around each other Shaking as they drain energy Storms could never go on forever. They may look like they will never end. But they always do I still look up to dry lightning and ask for a sign. Mother Nature kindly responds. You are loved. -K.J.K.

26

I loved him. And he loved me. I feel like I lost myself. And he found me. I love the daytime. Because I miss him at night. Little did I know he Was planting bombs Disguised as flowers I got addicted so quickly. His absence created a Growing desire in me He had me wrapped. Around his finger And then he broke. me into little pieces and Scattered my remains at the Corners of Earth I am lost again. With no one to find me -Kat. J. K.

0

Mar 24, 2025

Mar 24, 2025 at 5:06 PM UTC

Love Bombing

I loved him. And he loved me. I feel like I lost myself. And he found me. I love the daytime. Because I miss him at night. Little did I know he Was planting bombs Disguised as flowers I got addicted so quickly. His absence created a Growing desire in me He had me wrapped. Around his finger And then he broke. me into little pieces and Scattered my remains at the Corners of Earth I am lost again. With no one to find me -Kat. J. K.

21

I loved you more. Then I loved myself. I sat there and forgave. All your flaws All your anger All your secrets But it seemed like you could never love me. I tried and tried. I huffed and I puffed. But it was like a wall I couldn't entirely blow down. It was like you went out of your way. To try to get me out of your life. I gave you more than you deserved. I just wanted you to love me. -Kat. J. K.

0

Mar 23, 2025

Mar 23, 2025 at 11:31 AM UTC

You Never Loved Me

I loved you more. Then I loved myself. I sat there and forgave. All your flaws All your anger All your secrets But it seemed like you could never love me. I tried and tried. I huffed and I puffed. But it was like a wall I couldn't entirely blow down. It was like you went out of your way. To try to get me out of your life. I gave you more than you deserved. I just wanted you to love me. -Kat. J. K.

15