SunnySnow - Hello Poetry

I'm dying, Don't you understand, Each and every day, I'm dying. I used to think being dead, Was to mean, Your heart beat, Went flat. But, Being dead? Not so much a state of being sometimes... I'd wake up, Every morning, Saying... **** I'm still here? How am IIIII, Still here?" With not much will power for life, Every day mundane, Every hour, pointless. Until it drove me mad, I became so mad, I gave that girl in the mirror the finger And walked The hell Away. She was no good, And saying to myself after I said... "Hey bro, I'm dying each And every day! I don't have time for ******** I don't have the years for hatred, I don't have the months for grudges, I don't have the days for no success, I don't have the hours for wasting, I don't have the minutes for standing still, But what I do have, Is millions Of itty bitty moments, Placed together So perfectly, That I notice... I never saw that before i died. Before the brain waves took a vaction To lets be depressed and unsure, unworthy of life No, I'd never seen how beautiful Life is, When you slow her down, To a slow dance, A graceful pause, A gentle breath, A simple laugh, A single tear, A precious moment. And Time, She is just an odd one. Letting you decide when her dance is done. But willing to offer so much more, If you stay. And There is, Always, Always, Always, More, my friend. I would know, I'm still here, By some magic of this universe I got plopped into 21 years ago. And I've seen enough, Telling me, "ehy, They still want you here, Your family, Your pet, Your friends, They need you here, Its not about you!!! Its about us." Time will whispers gentley Into my ears "its about us, You are dying, You will never be eternal, And life, Well, He's a ******* sometimes, Don't always listen to him, But never Never ever, Take him for granted." She reasons with me. "in the end, You will go, But now, Is not the end. I have much more, much more, To show you" Still, I'm dying, And every moment counts. Every encounter, Every butterfly in your stomach, Every bruise you take, Every battle you fight, Every love you have, Every person you care for, Every memory you hold close, Every blink, Every word, Every whisper, Its all worth it. Let it be, Worth it. You are dying Make it worth something to you.

0

Dec 16, 2014

Dec 16, 2014 at 9:14 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Im Dying

I'm dying, Don't you understand, Each and every day, I'm dying. I used to think being dead, Was to mean, Your heart beat, Went flat. But, Being dead? Not so much a state of being sometimes... I'd wake up, Every morning, Saying... **** I'm still here? How am IIIII, Still here?" With not much will power for life, Every day mundane, Every hour, pointless. Until it drove me mad, I became so mad, I gave that girl in the mirror the finger And walked The hell Away. She was no good, And saying to myself after I said... "Hey bro, I'm dying each And every day! I don't have time for ******** I don't have the years for hatred, I don't have the months for grudges, I don't have the days for no success, I don't have the hours for wasting, I don't have the minutes for standing still, But what I do have, Is millions Of itty bitty moments, Placed together So perfectly, That I notice... I never saw that before i died. Before the brain waves took a vaction To lets be depressed and unsure, unworthy of life No, I'd never seen how beautiful Life is, When you slow her down, To a slow dance, A graceful pause, A gentle breath, A simple laugh, A single tear, A precious moment. And Time, She is just an odd one. Letting you decide when her dance is done. But willing to offer so much more, If you stay. And There is, Always, Always, Always, More, my friend. I would know, I'm still here, By some magic of this universe I got plopped into 21 years ago. And I've seen enough, Telling me, "ehy, They still want you here, Your family, Your pet, Your friends, They need you here, Its not about you!!! Its about us." Time will whispers gentley Into my ears "its about us, You are dying, You will never be eternal, And life, Well, He's a ******* sometimes, Don't always listen to him, But never Never ever, Take him for granted." She reasons with me. "in the end, You will go, But now, Is not the end. I have much more, much more, To show you" Still, I'm dying, And every moment counts. Every encounter, Every butterfly in your stomach, Every bruise you take, Every battle you fight, Every love you have, Every person you care for, Every memory you hold close, Every blink, Every word, Every whisper, Its all worth it. Let it be, Worth it. You are dying Make it worth something to you.

121

Like a freak on a leash, Like a box that won't fit, Like a gift you don't want, Like a curse seeping through... (I am.) Like a sun that can scortch or warm, Like a moon that howls or cries, Like a tree that can grow or die, Like a bird learning to fly... (I am.) Like a barely living frontal lobe, Like a drug you can't kick, Like a love that will stick, Like a place you will never forget... (I am.) Time will tell you my history ***** Then again in the end, We're all ****** Either way I am what I am, No matter what I do, I hate who I've been, But you will love the new. Like a warm fire, burning Like a pretty record, turning Like a loving phone call, lasting Like a soft touch, moving... (I am.) Like places of unseen beauty Like burried treasure found Like waves crashing down Like loves sweet sweet sounds... (I am.) Like beauty in words, unheard Like songs played softly Like hands intertwined Like a place in your mind... (I am.) Time will tell you my history ***** Then again in the end, We're all ****** Either way I am what I am, No matter what I do, I hate who I've been, But you will love the new. Just tell me you want me to stay, Weather for friend or for love, We'll see. Just please, tell me... Its not so bad I'm not what I was. Just give me a chance And I can give you a love. Because... Time will tell you our history ***** Then again in the end, We're all kinda ****** Either way we are what we are, No matter what we do, We all hate who we've been, But they will love the new.

0

Dec 16, 2014

Dec 16, 2014 at 9:11 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Like Me I Am

Like a freak on a leash, Like a box that won't fit, Like a gift you don't want, Like a curse seeping through... (I am.) Like a sun that can scortch or warm, Like a moon that howls or cries, Like a tree that can grow or die, Like a bird learning to fly... (I am.) Like a barely living frontal lobe, Like a drug you can't kick, Like a love that will stick, Like a place you will never forget... (I am.) Time will tell you my history ***** Then again in the end, We're all ****** Either way I am what I am, No matter what I do, I hate who I've been, But you will love the new. Like a warm fire, burning Like a pretty record, turning Like a loving phone call, lasting Like a soft touch, moving... (I am.) Like places of unseen beauty Like burried treasure found Like waves crashing down Like loves sweet sweet sounds... (I am.) Like beauty in words, unheard Like songs played softly Like hands intertwined Like a place in your mind... (I am.) Time will tell you my history ***** Then again in the end, We're all ****** Either way I am what I am, No matter what I do, I hate who I've been, But you will love the new. Just tell me you want me to stay, Weather for friend or for love, We'll see. Just please, tell me... Its not so bad I'm not what I was. Just give me a chance And I can give you a love. Because... Time will tell you our history ***** Then again in the end, We're all kinda ****** Either way we are what we are, No matter what we do, We all hate who we've been, But they will love the new.

60

Whoever said life is easy doesnt know what life is. We struggle, we are broken, we are little pieces of nothing that somehow put together make up something bigger than ourselves. We are made to be great though; we are created to be majestic creatures. How else do you explain life as we know it? This beautiful world we've learned to grow in...where we fail and we learn and soon we even understand the science behind it all. Why we feel pain, why we feel joy, and why we feel love and hate. We've created language upon language. We've found ways to describe those feelings of struggle and of triumph, and weave them into words that move you to feel something. We dont pat ourselves on the back enough for just being here, for just being who we are, whatever we are. Whether we are broken or whole, whether we are normal or weird, and so much more, we vary but each of us still carry this gorgeous part of us, we just gotta locate it and run with it. We all deserve to feel love and joy, and nothing and no one should ever take that away, not even the world. Cuz life isnt easy, people try and break us, but we have and will continue on.

0

Mar 27, 2014

Mar 27, 2014 at 9:16 AM UTC

SunnySnow

Carry On

Whoever said life is easy doesnt know what life is. We struggle, we are broken, we are little pieces of nothing that somehow put together make up something bigger than ourselves. We are made to be great though; we are created to be majestic creatures. How else do you explain life as we know it? This beautiful world we've learned to grow in...where we fail and we learn and soon we even understand the science behind it all. Why we feel pain, why we feel joy, and why we feel love and hate. We've created language upon language. We've found ways to describe those feelings of struggle and of triumph, and weave them into words that move you to feel something. We dont pat ourselves on the back enough for just being here, for just being who we are, whatever we are. Whether we are broken or whole, whether we are normal or weird, and so much more, we vary but each of us still carry this gorgeous part of us, we just gotta locate it and run with it. We all deserve to feel love and joy, and nothing and no one should ever take that away, not even the world. Cuz life isnt easy, people try and break us, but we have and will continue on.

1

Once shy and timid, Afraid to speak, Thinking they won’t like me. They won’t hear what I have to say, They won’t understand, How can they? Till one day, She was forced to speak up, To raise the voice she had been smothering. And soon… She learned to be loud and proud. She found her voice, And used it as a weapon Against everything she saw wrong. And everything that had been used against her… Like why do people have to put others down, Just to feel good about themselves? And why do we hate each other so? So, she preached love, She screamed for hope. She spun her words so carefully, She wanted them to sound just right, So maybe you won’t tune her out, But listen! She wanted to change their hearts, To give them a new place to start. She had a vision, That maybe someday, We would learn to love one another, Instead of devaluing our brothers and our sisters. Maybe…someday. So, she put her pen down to the paper And never looked back! She wrote and scribbled down each thought, Hoping when you read them, You would feel something. Tell me, Do you feel? Can you get on my level? You can do the same thing, You just gotta want to change the world, One heart, one mind at a time!

0

Mar 5, 2014

Mar 5, 2014 at 5:10 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Have a Voice

Once shy and timid, Afraid to speak, Thinking they won’t like me. They won’t hear what I have to say, They won’t understand, How can they? Till one day, She was forced to speak up, To raise the voice she had been smothering. And soon… She learned to be loud and proud. She found her voice, And used it as a weapon Against everything she saw wrong. And everything that had been used against her… Like why do people have to put others down, Just to feel good about themselves? And why do we hate each other so? So, she preached love, She screamed for hope. She spun her words so carefully, She wanted them to sound just right, So maybe you won’t tune her out, But listen! She wanted to change their hearts, To give them a new place to start. She had a vision, That maybe someday, We would learn to love one another, Instead of devaluing our brothers and our sisters. Maybe…someday. So, she put her pen down to the paper And never looked back! She wrote and scribbled down each thought, Hoping when you read them, You would feel something. Tell me, Do you feel? Can you get on my level? You can do the same thing, You just gotta want to change the world, One heart, one mind at a time!

42

I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful, She writes on the chalkboard Over and over and over, Unconvinced of the words she writes. She hasn’t really ever felt as if SHE was worth someone’s love. Finding it hard to see, There could be beauty. She thinks back to why she feels so terrible. Maybe it was the way She didn’t plan to get involved with him, Yet she still did. Not drugged, not seduced, But she remembers her body going docile, And feeling as if she wanted to scream “NO” But couldn’t move her lips. She wanted for so long to forget, But somehow, The thoughts always trace back to that moment When she began to correct to wrongs That had happened upon her that day. She would say, “This time I’ll love him/her” “This time will be different” But it never was. Only once had it been different, And that one slipped away, As she feel back into her pattern Of wanting something more, And soon, Not wanting anyone at all. And now she stands, Writing, tears streaming down her face, I AM BEAUTIFUL I am beautiful I…am…beautiful…

0

Mar 3, 2014

Mar 3, 2014 at 5:17 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Worthless Love

I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful, She writes on the chalkboard Over and over and over, Unconvinced of the words she writes. She hasn’t really ever felt as if SHE was worth someone’s love. Finding it hard to see, There could be beauty. She thinks back to why she feels so terrible. Maybe it was the way She didn’t plan to get involved with him, Yet she still did. Not drugged, not seduced, But she remembers her body going docile, And feeling as if she wanted to scream “NO” But couldn’t move her lips. She wanted for so long to forget, But somehow, The thoughts always trace back to that moment When she began to correct to wrongs That had happened upon her that day. She would say, “This time I’ll love him/her” “This time will be different” But it never was. Only once had it been different, And that one slipped away, As she feel back into her pattern Of wanting something more, And soon, Not wanting anyone at all. And now she stands, Writing, tears streaming down her face, I AM BEAUTIFUL I am beautiful I…am…beautiful…

38

To be hopeful is to dream, For in dreaming we can see… See the things we most crave, The things that our souls Are dying to obtain. For me, Only love. I want a love so grand That movies, Could never fully depict it. And I want a love so bold, You can see us from outer space. I want a love so cliché It’s as cheesy as the state I reside in (Wisconsin) I want this love, To be like a song you can Play on repeat… And yet it never gets old. Like a vinyl record I wanna play my love On a loop. But most of all, I want to stop dreaming, And start believing That I deserve such a love. Cause I’ve been down the road, Around the corner, Up the block, And far beyond… I’ve searched far and wide For this love I wish to confide in, And yet only one I have seen. He was the type That would make you Hold your breath. The type that Made you believe in God, When you aren’t even Remotely religious. I want to find a love like him… Again. Though I keep losing hope, That there is one like him. That I could repeat such a love. But then I must remember, I won’t find a love LIKE him, I will find one much GREATER than him! One much far WISER than him, Whom loves DEEPER than he, And one far CUTER than thee. And as long as I keep hopeing, I’ll keep dreaming, And someday, I’ll be seeing, My love. So till then I say “Goodbye”, Until we say “Hello” And you sweep me away, And show me a love, I’ll forever know.

0

Mar 1, 2014

Mar 1, 2014 at 2:28 PM UTC

SunnySnow

I Want A Love

To be hopeful is to dream, For in dreaming we can see… See the things we most crave, The things that our souls Are dying to obtain. For me, Only love. I want a love so grand That movies, Could never fully depict it. And I want a love so bold, You can see us from outer space. I want a love so cliché It’s as cheesy as the state I reside in (Wisconsin) I want this love, To be like a song you can Play on repeat… And yet it never gets old. Like a vinyl record I wanna play my love On a loop. But most of all, I want to stop dreaming, And start believing That I deserve such a love. Cause I’ve been down the road, Around the corner, Up the block, And far beyond… I’ve searched far and wide For this love I wish to confide in, And yet only one I have seen. He was the type That would make you Hold your breath. The type that Made you believe in God, When you aren’t even Remotely religious. I want to find a love like him… Again. Though I keep losing hope, That there is one like him. That I could repeat such a love. But then I must remember, I won’t find a love LIKE him, I will find one much GREATER than him! One much far WISER than him, Whom loves DEEPER than he, And one far CUTER than thee. And as long as I keep hopeing, I’ll keep dreaming, And someday, I’ll be seeing, My love. So till then I say “Goodbye”, Until we say “Hello” And you sweep me away, And show me a love, I’ll forever know.

62

I want to stand in the rain, Arms out stretched and remember What it is to start over. I want to wash away all the pain, All the anger and frustration. I want to fill all the holes in my heart I punched in, I want to cure what parts of me I hurt, Doing drugs and alcohol. I want to be able to look in the mirror And be proud of whom ever is staring back at me. I want to be a somebody, someone could love. I want to be able to not need to be told I am great or pretty Because I'd already know I am. I want to not be afraid to be happy and grow, Because I've earned it, going through hell and back on more than one occasion... I just want to be me again!

0

Feb 22, 2014

Feb 22, 2014 at 1:54 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Getting me back.

I want to stand in the rain, Arms out stretched and remember What it is to start over. I want to wash away all the pain, All the anger and frustration. I want to fill all the holes in my heart I punched in, I want to cure what parts of me I hurt, Doing drugs and alcohol. I want to be able to look in the mirror And be proud of whom ever is staring back at me. I want to be a somebody, someone could love. I want to be able to not need to be told I am great or pretty Because I'd already know I am. I want to not be afraid to be happy and grow, Because I've earned it, going through hell and back on more than one occasion... I just want to be me again!

18

Rail, Inhale... Forget, Regret... Fear, Hide... Numb, Die... And repeat as needed. I'm on the fast track to hell, I just pretend not to notice. The smile masking the insanity But I'm used to being crazy. Paranoid and scared No one warned me, So I face this war unprepared. A veteran of the ****** I am what I am I understand every ****** up thought I just don't know how to find the "off" switch. You'd think, After over half a decade I'd get the picture, But I'm no better off then I was before. Like a broken record I'm overplayed and out of tune, Yesterday's news. I need to break this cycle Start a revolution and revolt Cuz I might just be worth fighting for...

0

Feb 22, 2014

Feb 22, 2014 at 1:48 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Fight Inside

Rail, Inhale... Forget, Regret... Fear, Hide... Numb, Die... And repeat as needed. I'm on the fast track to hell, I just pretend not to notice. The smile masking the insanity But I'm used to being crazy. Paranoid and scared No one warned me, So I face this war unprepared. A veteran of the ****** I am what I am I understand every ****** up thought I just don't know how to find the "off" switch. You'd think, After over half a decade I'd get the picture, But I'm no better off then I was before. Like a broken record I'm overplayed and out of tune, Yesterday's news. I need to break this cycle Start a revolution and revolt Cuz I might just be worth fighting for...

25

She had this sassy way about her, As if her curves sent out vibrations of emotion. When I saw her a wave of sensual feeling came over me. I desired her, In every way possible... Frantic with the idea of loving her, With those skin tight clothes And a smile filled with sin, Making me green with envy, She was LOVE.

0

Feb 22, 2014

Feb 22, 2014 at 1:42 PM UTC

SunnySnow

She Was Love

She had this sassy way about her, As if her curves sent out vibrations of emotion. When I saw her a wave of sensual feeling came over me. I desired her, In every way possible... Frantic with the idea of loving her, With those skin tight clothes And a smile filled with sin, Making me green with envy, She was LOVE.

10

Her birthday is on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, She love to garden and cook, Guess you can blame that on her Italian heritage. She has one tattoo I convinced her to get with me, A humming bird on our right foot… She has silver shinny hair, And loves to scrapbook and take pictures where ever we go. But most of all, She’s my mother and my best friend. She keeps all my little secrets, And her ears are always ready to listen. (Even when I talk them off) Some of my happiest memories, Are of being in her company. Spa night’s with hair rapped up in a towel, And nails painted, and laughs till bedtime. Girls weekends at my apartment, Sipping Blue Nun wine and watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” But the thing that gets me most is, She is and always will be there When I feel no one else is. When I first dealt with depression and bipolar, I was scared, and I felt alone. But she held me through every nightmare, And dried every single tear, Cause that’s what mommies do best. And believe me when I say she should get The mother of the year award, Cause I may be adopted, But when people ask me who my mom is, I say her, Cause she deserves that title more than anyone in the universe!

0

Dec 16, 2013

Dec 16, 2013 at 2:25 PM UTC

SunnySnow

Mommy & Me

Her birthday is on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, She love to garden and cook, Guess you can blame that on her Italian heritage. She has one tattoo I convinced her to get with me, A humming bird on our right foot… She has silver shinny hair, And loves to scrapbook and take pictures where ever we go. But most of all, She’s my mother and my best friend. She keeps all my little secrets, And her ears are always ready to listen. (Even when I talk them off) Some of my happiest memories, Are of being in her company. Spa night’s with hair rapped up in a towel, And nails painted, and laughs till bedtime. Girls weekends at my apartment, Sipping Blue Nun wine and watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” But the thing that gets me most is, She is and always will be there When I feel no one else is. When I first dealt with depression and bipolar, I was scared, and I felt alone. But she held me through every nightmare, And dried every single tear, Cause that’s what mommies do best. And believe me when I say she should get The mother of the year award, Cause I may be adopted, But when people ask me who my mom is, I say her, Cause she deserves that title more than anyone in the universe!

32