I spend too many nights thinking
Wondering, writing, dreaming
Of someone who doesn't even think of me
Apr 15, 2021
Apr 15, 2021 at 6:13 PM UTC
I expect more for myself
Sorry I'm a mess but dont you think
I deserve flowers on random days
An I love you just as a reminder
I may not be perfect but how much more perfection do you want my love for you to be
Dont trust my heart
Dont trust man or woman
I'm shreading my heart
I should of never went to Paris
And find love
Look where it took me
Straight to hell
I'm trading my emotions for something stronger, should I go for *******
Something that makes me feel good
It's just me at the end of the game
Dec 2, 2020
Dec 2, 2020 at 12:50 AM UTC
Theres a yellow tape around me
There is flashing lights but it isnt white
What have I done to myself
Did it cause pain to others or just me
This was war against me and the world
But I didn't win the battle
How could of when I was just a negative aspect
I wasnt made for the world
I was meant to cause harm to everything around me
But why if I try my best to change
To be something beautiful for once
I'm sorry for being a mess
For staining your perfect image
I didn't mean to add blood to it
I did it for you
For everyone
It's the perfect ending
Now that I'm leaving
I know my goodbye wont mean nothing
But I'm hoping I will regret it
And my goodbye would mean something
At the end when I'm gone
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 11:50 PM UTC
How do you expect me to believe it's not my fault
When that's how it feels
When constantly every word comes out of me your next words for me you are yelling
How do expect me not shed a tear
All my scars are open when you yell at me
I know I'm not right
But how I'm I wrong if that makes sense
Why do you sting like a bee
But I still want you to be mine honey
I apologize ahead if I don't have enough nectar
I'm not that big of a flower I still got some growing to do
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 10:04 PM UTC
Rosy rosy why are you dosing
Cant you see you are not meant to be
This world is not made for you
It's crazy how much you faked everything
Making me believe every word
Guess I was just meant to be dead
Wouldnt that beautiful
My body laying in dirt
Finally saying goodbye to everything
That has made me the person
It's kinda tragic if you think about it
But does it count as a targedy if I was emo
Maybe next time you should take that dose
Pull the trigger or just hang yourself
That would be the perfect sence
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 3:53 PM UTC
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 12:07 AM UTC
Stars are falling
My heart is pounding
What's worst that or this heart ache
Can the world really be ending
Or is it just my mind playing
Night sky
Night down
What's next in darkest
Can roses really grow without light
What am I
Just weeds waiting to be ****
Can I just be a shooting star
And light the way
Or just the fire and at end and still be
What everyone wished
That's all I wish
To be the rose that doesn't need help
An everlasting rose
That cant die
But I have the power in my hands
I hate what I have become
A black rose
Just rotting inside and out
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 12:03 AM UTC
I wanna be with the stars far away from this world
Why does having a heart
Have consequences
It's like I'm fighting Demons but with the person I'm living for
Because what's the point of fighting if there isnt a reason for
I know your the one
But you shouldn't be so insecure about yourself
I'm yours till the end and that's all I want
My love for you is like a bullet proof vest
No matter how many things you do
I'm always going to love you regardless
We been kicking it
And I cant find nothing wrong with you
Why you so **** perfect
Making it hard for me to detach
Baby go through your phases
I'm going to be right by your side
Aint no moving around here
This isnt a travel agency
This is a real state
And I'm settling in
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 12:40 AM UTC
I live in my head,
rarely ever coming out.
I really should get out more ..
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 12:18 AM UTC
They said the heart is the part where feelings are held
But when it comes to my heart, it has no part
My mind is the one with the main role
It's taking control over me
Why is my health on the edge
Is it the reflection of me where am in life
Baby dont follow me
I'm too dangerous for myself
Imagine for you
I dont wanna risk getting better
If it means I put you in danger
Dont make me into your project plz
Dont waste your time when
At the end I'm going to fail you
Cause I dont need a savior
I just need to know your okay
My heart is gold I promise
But I have no control
If your going to remember me
Remember my heart only
Give me reasons why I shouldn't give up
Can you see I'm dying
Each day im fading away
I **** up my life
And I cant have you in it
Hurting you
That's not what you need
Tell me what you know about healing
I will listen
But by midnight I'm gone
Cause there isnt healing me
From the darkness
They are taking my heart away
The only gold of me
That's what they want
That's why they are breaking me down
I seen enough
I been holding on too long
But I'm sorry its come down to this
Please just know I wanted you to have
The treasure I wanted to make you famous but I failed which is not a surprise
Maybe it's a good thing they are taking me away
You cant see me in the dark
Which me I cant hurt you anymore
Baby I love you
But I'm not meant for you
I'm sorry you had to find out this way
Trust me I didnt want this to end like this
It hurts my heart even if I dont have control
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 12:17 AM UTC