Stygian - Hello Poetry

So I guess this is it huh? After all the love bombing and fake feelings you’re finally ready to move on You’re ready to remember what it felt like when I didn’t exist. You’re excited to feel warmth in a new place. Because everything turned cold here. You made it this way though. You turned off your feelings. Maybe you didn’t even have any. Maybe I built a false persona of you in my head that was genuinely interested in me. I must be crazy to think all that time I spent investing in you, you were only pretending to like what I was saying. Like what I was giving to you. I didn’t ask you for anything. I barely reached for a hand. But yet again I’ll switch my feelings back to nothing and pretend like you never even stopped by. Cause it’s that easy right? I’m not that interesting to remember. I’m not that hard to forget. You must have found someone better. So I’ll pretend we ever met.

0

Jun 10, 2021

Jun 10, 2021 at 10:12 PM UTC

Stygian

This is it.

So I guess this is it huh? After all the love bombing and fake feelings you’re finally ready to move on You’re ready to remember what it felt like when I didn’t exist. You’re excited to feel warmth in a new place. Because everything turned cold here. You made it this way though. You turned off your feelings. Maybe you didn’t even have any. Maybe I built a false persona of you in my head that was genuinely interested in me. I must be crazy to think all that time I spent investing in you, you were only pretending to like what I was saying. Like what I was giving to you. I didn’t ask you for anything. I barely reached for a hand. But yet again I’ll switch my feelings back to nothing and pretend like you never even stopped by. Cause it’s that easy right? I’m not that interesting to remember. I’m not that hard to forget. You must have found someone better. So I’ll pretend we ever met.

19

I will fall down these steps. Breaking my bones and all I have left Just to see you shake your head and say.... Nothing. You always walk away... I shatter myself for a small smile Cry in my bed for just a little while You gave me gifts to remember you by Blinded by all your narcissistic lies I pray one day you see and you learn How quickly the tables can turn

0

Dec 24, 2020

Dec 24, 2020 at 9:15 AM UTC

Stygian

the end

I will fall down these steps. Breaking my bones and all I have left Just to see you shake your head and say.... Nothing. You always walk away... I shatter myself for a small smile Cry in my bed for just a little while You gave me gifts to remember you by Blinded by all your narcissistic lies I pray one day you see and you learn How quickly the tables can turn

10

I have forgotten what skin feels like. I have touched it many times but sometimes it feels like silk and other times it has felt like concrete. It has felt like velvet but also felt like sandpaper. I’ve avoided the texture of those around me for so long it has become an unfamiliar touch. I have grown sick at the thought of melting into someone else’s epidermis. The fact that just giving someone a delicate touch means I am vulnerable worries me that I have not built walls I have built an entire castle A fortress around me that no one can penetrate. I sit on a throne that no one else is allowed to even look at You can’t have what I’ve experienced You can’t be a part of what I have built. This is because of you. I have worked so hard to keep you out I sit in the aftermath of your disappointment and remember the times you shattered me and I keep building. And building. And building. Until finally I’ve built something sturdy enough to never be broken down again. Not even by you.

0

Dec 24, 2020

Dec 24, 2020 at 9:10 AM UTC

Stygian

Fortress.

I have forgotten what skin feels like. I have touched it many times but sometimes it feels like silk and other times it has felt like concrete. It has felt like velvet but also felt like sandpaper. I’ve avoided the texture of those around me for so long it has become an unfamiliar touch. I have grown sick at the thought of melting into someone else’s epidermis. The fact that just giving someone a delicate touch means I am vulnerable worries me that I have not built walls I have built an entire castle A fortress around me that no one can penetrate. I sit on a throne that no one else is allowed to even look at You can’t have what I’ve experienced You can’t be a part of what I have built. This is because of you. I have worked so hard to keep you out I sit in the aftermath of your disappointment and remember the times you shattered me and I keep building. And building. And building. Until finally I’ve built something sturdy enough to never be broken down again. Not even by you.

16

I can’t hear you tell me that I don’t matter I’m done being told that it’s all my fault after You lied and you said that you would do better I guess it’s my fault for thinking you would forget her I fell apart and you just watched me bleed And now I am the enemy.

0

Oct 11, 2020

Oct 11, 2020 at 1:55 PM UTC

Stygian

Enemy

I can’t hear you tell me that I don’t matter I’m done being told that it’s all my fault after You lied and you said that you would do better I guess it’s my fault for thinking you would forget her I fell apart and you just watched me bleed And now I am the enemy.

6

So who do want me to be You say that you love me every day But i can’t believe you’re talking to me When everything’s taken the wrong way Maybe if I go you’ll find who you need I just want you to know you were everything to me I’ve walked this road alone but I just want to see Exactly what you want from me I could give you the world and you’d ask for the Sun I could give you all the answers but you’d tell me there is none I could change the way I am but would that even be enough I’ve fallen on my knees and you don’t care if I get up

0

Aug 8, 2020

Aug 8, 2020 at 10:09 PM UTC

Stygian

Change Me

So who do want me to be You say that you love me every day But i can’t believe you’re talking to me When everything’s taken the wrong way Maybe if I go you’ll find who you need I just want you to know you were everything to me I’ve walked this road alone but I just want to see Exactly what you want from me I could give you the world and you’d ask for the Sun I could give you all the answers but you’d tell me there is none I could change the way I am but would that even be enough I’ve fallen on my knees and you don’t care if I get up

12

You're a beautiful creation. But what did they do to you? Now you're a beautiful disaster. What can I do? Someone will love you but that someone's not me. I'd rather be alone now than fall to my knees And beg you to see, that this is real and this is me But you cant see it so I'd rather be free. And learn to love myself more than you could ever love me. You're a beautiful creation. But what did they do to you. Now you're a beautiful disaster. There's nothing I can do.

0

Jan 6, 2020

Jan 6, 2020 at 9:09 PM UTC

Stygian

Beautiful

You're a beautiful creation. But what did they do to you? Now you're a beautiful disaster. What can I do? Someone will love you but that someone's not me. I'd rather be alone now than fall to my knees And beg you to see, that this is real and this is me But you cant see it so I'd rather be free. And learn to love myself more than you could ever love me. You're a beautiful creation. But what did they do to you. Now you're a beautiful disaster. There's nothing I can do.

13

We often connect to rejection, and forget to reject fake affection, so used to neglect and aggression.... Once I love I forget and accept it...

0

Mar 6, 2019

Mar 6, 2019 at 9:50 PM UTC

Stygian

Untitled

We often connect to rejection, and forget to reject fake affection, so used to neglect and aggression.... Once I love I forget and accept it...

1

The most I've ever felt for you was when you walked away. The silence was the loudest thing you've ever had to say. The quickest response was met when I asked if you could stay. And this is the farthest I've ever been from feeling okay.

0

Mar 5, 2019

Mar 5, 2019 at 10:39 PM UTC

Stygian

You vs Me

The most I've ever felt for you was when you walked away. The silence was the loudest thing you've ever had to say. The quickest response was met when I asked if you could stay. And this is the farthest I've ever been from feeling okay.

4

we used to Sit together at lunch. we played in the park together after school. you used to grab my shoUlder at night. you dance In my dreams. you clapped when i Cried at night. trying to fight the Intrusive thoughts. you keep trying to Decide my fate. mAde sure you were safe in the depths of my mind. but my choice has always been to Live. the last thing they leave is a LETTER

0

Feb 6, 2019

Feb 6, 2019 at 9:45 PM UTC

Stygian

hello, old friend.

we used to Sit together at lunch. we played in the park together after school. you used to grab my shoUlder at night. you dance In my dreams. you clapped when i Cried at night. trying to fight the Intrusive thoughts. you keep trying to Decide my fate. mAde sure you were safe in the depths of my mind. but my choice has always been to Live. the last thing they leave is a LETTER

10

I had a dream that you died Committed suicide Because you couldn't find love in a blink of an eye But in reality, I'm the one dying inside I was right here and I didn't know why I was never good enough to be a part of your life In reality, it's me with tears in my eyes Spreading flowers and seeing the light Entering sweet release of you and I. Rest in peace my love, forever goodbye.

0

Jan 30, 2019

Jan 30, 2019 at 3:39 PM UTC

Stygian

RIP

I had a dream that you died Committed suicide Because you couldn't find love in a blink of an eye But in reality, I'm the one dying inside I was right here and I didn't know why I was never good enough to be a part of your life In reality, it's me with tears in my eyes Spreading flowers and seeing the light Entering sweet release of you and I. Rest in peace my love, forever goodbye.

10