I cannot concentrate
When they are home.
It hurts my brain
When all I hear
Is loud voices
And the sound of the TV.
I feel like I can't be myself
When I am around them.
Lightheaded
Anxiety driven
And lethargic.
Oh universe, tell me why.
Why, do I feel this way?
What does my feelings and
Thoughts really convey?
Hunger for something -
Anything takes form.
When they are gone.
My mind returns to peace.
Only to be interrupted
Once again, when they return.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC
Tired eyes
Blinking with the
Sound of my every breath.
I stare at the rustic table in front of me.
I see things without actually seeing them,
My mind wanders to places I don't
Want to think about.
I try to widen my eyes and focus
So maybe I can stay in this
Permanent zone for a little
While longer.
Thoughts still race through my mind
In slow motion
And I want the world to stop...
And.
Listen...
To the whole essence, that is me...
Because I simply cannot
Express myself
In the ways that matter.
It upsets me
Because I cannot be brave
As the characters in story books, that I love so much
I try to write my feelings to you...
The feelings that
I cannot simply
Portray...
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 6:04 PM UTC
My ideas are lost
In a pool of unknown
My mental mind
Is but a vast ocean
During a scary storm.
Water churning and
Turning over and over again
Until the darkness stops.
And the light reaches the
Depths of our souls...
Only then
Will we be calm...
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 5:58 PM UTC
Living a lie,
You wander through
Your bleak view of life.
You want to perish
In this world of sin.
Leaving me alone
When I am yours to cherish.
Have you felt the severe love
For I have weaved its very
Essence into my words?
I wonder if my poem
Will reach the depths of
Your heart.
They say it is unreachable.
They say it is unmanageable.
They say you should submit yourself to the darkness.
But what do you say?
You submit yourself...anyway.
To me, you are now a subtle dream.
From a far away life.
My soul screams in agony.
My entirety is shred
Into a million pieces.
For my soul is nothing but dead.
Yearning for you
Searching for you...
In every turn of my head on a busy sidewalk.
In every time the news channel mentions Europe.
In every time I spy a magnificent green dragon.
...
Jul 3, 2019
Jul 3, 2019 at 5:05 PM UTC
I am scared
Of the world.
I am curious
Of what lies beyond.
I am worried
Of the decisions
I'll have to make.
I am cautious
Of my reactions.
I am afraid
Of time
Slipping away.
I am anxious
Of my feelings.
I am selfish
For loving.
I am torn
Between fact
And fiction.
I am lost
When I think
Of my future.
But I am at peace
When I think of
You.
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 21, 2019 at 10:14 AM UTC
As I lie awake
Tonight...
The fuel
Keeping me going is
Hope.
Hoping for a better
Future
In this world
Of toxicity
And less focus
On hate
And more
On love.
My heart bleeds
For the many
Who are
Currently suffering.
If there is a God
Out there...
Save us all.
We need it.
We all need saving.
In one way
Or another...
Jun 18, 2019
Jun 18, 2019 at 11:07 PM UTC
As I sit here
Thinking of you...
I worry,
I cry,
I blush,
and I just want to say
that I have a massive crush.
Feelings are mutual,
but from miles away.
What do I do
When all we do is
Connect with words
All night and day?
These feelings are foreign
For no one has ever loved me.
Unrequited love
Was my past.
Now you
are my present.
Jun 6, 2019
Jun 6, 2019 at 12:19 PM UTC
Listen, closely.
As water
Droplets
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
On your windowsill.
You brush back
The curtain
To watch the drops
Drip
And
Glisten
In the darkness.
Suddenly, a bright, flash swallows the
Vast sky...
And you look up.
Frightened that the storm
Will never end...
You jump back into your bed.
Laying on your back.
Breathing, heavy
You shut your eyes, tight.
And count the number of times
The lightning strikes.
Waiting for the storm
To pass...
Her name on your lips,
Like a prayer.
May 10, 2019
May 10, 2019 at 12:31 AM UTC
Warmth
Sunshine.
Spreading.
Twisting.
Spiraling.
Slowly.
Upwards.
Reaching my
Shoulders.
My arms.
My neck.
Covering my face
Like a blanket of bliss.
As the sun shifts,
And changes directions…
No more bright light
Covers my face
As the cold and
Dark shadows
Invade my space.
Like an unwanted
Feeling.
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC
I hate being alone.
It frightens me.
In the middle of the night.
When the cold, undisturbed air
Glides over my
Exposed skin.
Oh, the thoughts I have.
Twisted.
Dark.
Ugly.
A whirlwind of
Insanity.
I can't be alone.
With my my thoughts.
It terrifies me.
Blinking, slow.
Eyes half closed.
Staring at the holy light.
My mind battles.
With emotions
I cannot name.
...
In the morning,
Daydreams I cannot
Speak of
Haunt me.
Throughout the day.
So, I imagine
That I am a brave soul.
And, happily,
Be on my way.
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 11:24 PM UTC