my family believes
in demons and angels and spirits
but not mental illness
they think that seeing Shadow People
are a religious thing
and is something to be prayed about
but when I complain
about my delusions and hallucinations
they call me crazy and say
that I'm making things up
everything has to do with religion
in this **** house
and everything bad
is something to be prayed away
a made-up construct by humans
is more believable in my family
than realist illnesses of the brain
i'm tired of it
Nov 28, 2021
Nov 28, 2021 at 1:06 PM UTC
I really thought
I had it all figured out
Asexuality was the perfect
description of me
I didn't look at someone
and was sexually attracted
to them
Everything was perfect
Then, I started to notice
how women are hot
and men are attractive
Now, I know I'm not straight
I never was
but this was new for me
The possibility
of me not being straight
but not being asexual
was real now
But I think I have it
figured out
I am still asexual
but I am demipanromantic
I have to know the person
extremely well and have
a connection with them
but gender doesn't matter
for me when it comes
to a love relationship
Sexuality is a fragile thing
always subjected to change
but when it does
DON'T FREAK OUT
Things will work themselves out
and if there isn't a label for you
you can always make one
Nov 24, 2021
Nov 24, 2021 at 4:14 PM UTC
I know you don't
there's no possible way
with your actions against me
and the things you say
The way you talk to me
and the way about
your dislike hits me right in the heart
and the love goes around
You may try
to be nice to my face
but when you think I'm not near
it's a different case
Other times
you don't even care
you start to talk trash about me
as though I'm not there
All the pain I feel
and the emotions you provoke
it's no wonder
that my heart is always broke
So there's only one truth
as far as the eye can see
and that is
you don't love me
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 8:39 PM UTC
I am afraid of affection
yet I crave it
I want you to stay
but then I want you to go
I'm content one minute
and the next I am angry
I blow up with anger
after taking in so much
My mood swings from highs and lows
every. single. day.
I want to care for me
but then I want you to treat me like trash
I want you to love me
but then I want you to not give a **** about me
I like to be alone
but I don't ever want to be lonely
My sadness is always there
just sometimes milder than others
And don't forget about the
suicidal thoughts
My mind has convinced me
that I am a horrible person
My mind has convinced me
that the people around me hate me
My mind has convinced me
that I am trapped in this hell
What is wrong with me?
Can someone save me?
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 4:59 AM UTC
I've been gone
for a while
You see, I've been struggling
learning how to smile
I've been missing
for quite some time
You see, I've been hiding my pain
and trying not to cry
I've been away
for a minute
You see, I've been trying to convince myself
that my story isn't finished
I've been hiding
for the moment
You see, I've put back together
the pieces that are broken
I've been gone
for so long
Because every. single. thing.
seems to be going wrong
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 2, 2019 at 2:23 PM UTC
With everything
That's going on
I just can't keep
Hanging on
My sleep
Has been eluded
My brain
Has been deluded
My health
Not included
I'm nearly
Disillusioned
With everything
That's going on
I just can't keep
Hanging on
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 8:44 AM UTC
I'm trying
To enjoy
Time with my family
I'm trying
To enjoy
My break from school
I'm trying
To enjoy
The time off I have
But instead
I am spending
My time
Depressed
And down in the dumps
I'm spending
My time
Making everyone else
Miserable
As well
I'm spending
My time
Trying to control
These negative emotions
I want to put
On a smile
And pretend
Like everything
Is fine
As I usually do
But this time
I can't even
Do that
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 7:26 PM UTC
I feel like
A worthless
Piece of trash
Because I always
Have so many
Problems
They seem never-ending
And more seem to come
At a moment's notice
For seemingly no reason
I'm tired
Of feeling this way
I'm tired
Of being so pessimistic
I'm tired
Of letting others down
I'm tired
Of being that one person
No one wants to be around
Because of my mouth
And my thoughts
And my many, many problems
I'm tired of living this life
So I'm going
To make it my goal
To change
And become
Something my brain seems
To not see
For myself
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 16, 2018 at 8:36 AM UTC
Naturally
I'm not a crier
But sometimes
I have my days
Something could go wrong
And just like that
The dam is broken
And the flooding begins
It could be my grades
Which I am uptight about
It could my relationships
Sinking like a ship
It could be depression
Dragging in its claws
Or anxiety
Being the clingy monster
It is
Naturally
I'm not a crier
But sometimes
I have my days
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 10:25 AM UTC
I need to pay attention
To what life
Throws at me
Because with each
New day
A little blinder I see
Concentration
I what I need
To past at life
And to succeed
I need to clear
My thoughts
In my mind
As sooner or later
I'll find
I've run out of time
So I need to focus
With each new day
So I do my work
And not wander or stray
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC