You decide
What you want to achieve
What you want to love
What you want to dream
You choose
Who you want to be
Who you look up to
Who you have in your life
You determine
How you think
How you feel
How you live
You establish who you are
You control your own life
Embrace yourself
And have the courage to exist
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
You are but a little bug
Lost in this vast garden
But if you were to disappear
How would the flowers grow?
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 11:33 PM UTC
Self-medicate to keep the hatred down
Self-medicate to keep the ***** down
Self-medicate to keep the sadness down
Self-medicate and pick your poison
pick the one you haven't tried for a newer
buzz
for a newer feeling
for a newer hate
self-medicate, extrapolate
miss yourself and all the hate
because the devil is mine today
the devil is mine today
to do with what I please
self-medicate and fall
a spiral
a helix
something familiar to feel the feelings
something familiar to feel the people cry
self-medicate to feel your mother cry
what am I becoming today, who shall I be
a dashing rogue who doesn't care, someone alone
a dashing rogue at the bottom of an ocean
with a portal to another world where I am normal
where I matter
self-medicate
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 11:21 PM UTC
we're almost home
I can taste it
the fumes and the fire and the rags soaked with gasoline
and I can hear the streetlight hum
burning the ghost of a last cigarette
and I can hear the coffee
plink
plop
in your coffeepot
a far-off howl
and a mother lost her son
with the needle
and thread
and the system is gone
and I solve my problems like a monster would
with matches
but these scissors
feel heavy
and I dissected my brain
found what left of my sanity
and I ate it with a scowl
burning bright into the day
and the philosophies of ages past
wise men
and a single lunatic
breaking me
softly crashing animals into my head
and I bit at the fist
and frothed at the mouth
the other day
and it croaked at me
scorching my brain
eating at my health
I fear I am losing my mind, lover
I cannot remember the last time I cried
or that I ate
all I feel is a mechanical
clickclack
like I am clockwork
and I don't know how to feed
this need
inside me
I hurt my head today
a soft noise
No matter
I smell oranges
as I lose myself
in my work
and I stitch up the seams
the acrid taste of a cigarette on my teeth
a layer of smoke and wind
and this mask smells like I imagine she would
and that ends it
and I couldn't move on
paralyzed with a shrug
and my mouth tastes of kerosene
my mouth tastes of kerosene
my mouth tastes of kerosene
the blood in my house
surrounding the bricks in my mouth
breaking through the store
and I ache
and my stomach is sick
and my mouth
oh, god
what have I done
I ate her sanity
and I broke his back
with the symbol
of red
my only regret
you must think I'm mad
but no!
I am better than that
a ghost
long gone
leaving
only kerosene
in my wake
rock the back
with the squeal of tires
I must escape
Thunk!
of a heart dying beneath my floorboards
drying slowly
like a bubbly sea
amid a soft drink
there is a cafe down the street
and I think may
order some coffee
two scoops of sugar
two tablespoons of milk
why is my coffee red
why is my coffee red
why is my coffee red?
why is my coffee red
what i have done
cannot be forgiven, lover
wash it off in the sink
my god
they see me
they see me
****
they see me
I regret
nothing
everything
I am nothing
I had a friend over today
to show how normal I am
that i am okay
and I am alive
and we spoke
we drank wine, we ate a fine meal
It was a party
and soon i came to realize
they knew!
He knew! He saw the blood
and I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed my hand
and why are they still ******
and he found out
he mocked me
sat there in a chair
and pretended it was all normal
until I ached
and burned
and soon
oh, god
what have I done now
his sanity
it's gone
i ate it
He is sad now
I see him
and he is sad
I taste his tears
they taste of salt and crackers
and I knelt
and I sat down
and finished my meal
would a lunatic do that? Would he finish his dinner with his guest?
No, lover.
No, lover.
The voices returned today.
They told me I was worthless
perhaps they are right
and perhaps
there is a bridge not far from here.
Could the water wash away the blood?
yes.
Yes, lover,
it could.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 5:16 AM UTC
when did this get so complicated?
When i was a kid, I could walk outside
and I could comment on how beautiful the stars were
and no would hurt me for it
because all I am is stardust
all I am is stardust
aligned to make me me
and no one will take me seriously
because all i am
is a lonely poet
made of stardust and dreams that I wake up
longing for
because the girl in my dream needed me
in the autumn
because stardust has broken
and now I can't see any light.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 5:09 AM UTC
When it comes, you hear
You hear
une , deux , trois , quatre
and think of the stars, the bits floating above me because they have no home
because we are all thunder
and stardust.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 5:09 AM UTC