8 years passed.
Feelings are still strong.
Old texts I continue to read.
I knew we had a special bond.
I’m happy in my current relationship, but they’re not you and never will be.
I hope that one day I can just forget you but as of now, you’re all that I see.
Jun 22, 2022
Jun 22, 2022 at 4:53 PM UTC
Swerving left and right, switching from lane to lane,
I shouldn’t be here
Hard impact, banging my face against the steering wheel as shattered pieces of glass cut my face,
I shouldn’t be here
Airbags, dust, debris everywhere, I can’t see or breathe,
I shouldn’t be here
Gasping for breath, as I fall out of my car on my hands and knees, gravel spikes my hands and saliva is running down my chin,
I shouldn’t be here
I stand up and look around me, through all the wreckage and car parts scattered all around the street,
I AM still here
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 12:52 AM UTC
My feelings don’t matter,
Lie to my face.
Lie about who you’re with, lie about the time and place.
Tell me that “your phone was dead” or that “you got busy”
Later you’ll ask yourself “he’s probably not gonna reply anymore, isn’t he?”
Jun 9, 2020
Jun 9, 2020 at 3:34 AM UTC
Tell me that we’ll be okay, tell me that we’ll be alright,
Tell me this is worth it and that you’ll continue to fight.
Tell me you’ll be by my side no matter how how rough things get.
Tell me that you’re not ready to give up, not just yet.
I struggle emotionally and it always gets the best of me,
When you want out, just let me know, I’ll give you your space and I’ll let you be.
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 2:44 PM UTC
Why should I care?
Why do I choose to feel the emotions that I do?
Why do I sit alone in my room, with nothing on my mind but the thought of you?
Why do I worry?
Why do I cry so ****** much that my vision becomes more than impaired and everything around me turns blurry?
I hate the way I feel, I hate that I care so much,
I spill my emotions over a keyboard so, you too, can hold the pain that I currently do,
This is only the beginning, I know I’ll be stopping here, on this website, so much more frequently because of you.
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 2:59 AM UTC
How many loved ones must be lost?
How much blood must be spilled?
By the hands of someone with a chip on their shoulder, a fully loaded rifle and an ambition to ****
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 5, 2019 at 4:03 AM UTC
I knew I was never perfect, I did all I could do,
I look back at it now, I deserved so much better than you.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 10:22 AM UTC
Do not hide emotions.
Do not suppress feelings.
Shed tears, when they need to be shed.
Feel pain, when pain needs to be felt.
We are all human beings.
If all is suppressed,
“Numb” no longer is just a word,
It’s a way life is lived.
I can promise you, it is not a life worth living.
Smile when you are brought joy,
Yell when you are brought anger,
If nothing is ever felt,
Individuality is lost.
When individuality is lost,
We are nothing more than just a lifeless walking corpse, waiting for our time to come to an end.
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 3:37 AM UTC
People change with time,
But the memories remain the same, stuck in your head like some ****** nursery rhyme.
Love is forever, no matter what happens.
You can’t take love away once it’s given,
A grudge upon someone you once loved is not worth holding.
At one point in time they were your everything and time went on, strangers were made.
But feelings, were the only thing that didn’t fade.
Maybe one day we can search for beginnings anew,
But in a meanwhile, we’ll carry on and live life far from what we both once knew.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 12:03 AM UTC
You were there for my birth,
You tried to raise me.
The drugs rotted your brain,
Nothing was ever the same, nothing turned out how I wanted it to be.
Violent from the withdrawals,
Swinging your left and right fists at my brothers and moms jaws.
We couldn’t do it, we had to get away.
We boarded a plane, a small place in Colorado is where we decided to stay.
I grew up away from you, without a father figure it made life tough,
Learned how to drive, work and survive without you dad was hard enough.
Mom got remarried, her husband I grew to hate,
The way he loved his kids, broke me down, I cried alone in my room with an extensive amount of heartbreak to contemplate.
Years pass. I live on my own, regardless of all the ******** I still talk to you and make sure you’re okay,
Dodging cops and violating probation is a game you still continue to play. You weren’t there for much of my life, but regardless, I still love you dad and nothing will ever change that.
Maybe one day you become a better person and we can do all the things a father and son should.
But in the meanwhile I’m living with this pain, wishing you the very best.
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 3:57 PM UTC