Is this the end?
I know now that have nothing more to give or send.
My will seems that it will no longer bend.
Is this rainstorm finally done?
I think this is finally my turn for fun under the sun.
My hopes and dreams now broken,
awaiting to be redone.
Is this a new chance?
I hope I can keep on going in this never ending dance.
My sturdy mind is finally breaking it's stance.
Is this how I will be?
I don't know if I will ever be able to fully see.
My future is amidst a violent thundering sea.
Is this a chance for a new love?
I doubt it because of these thoughts from above.
My scars on my wrist in consequence of.
Is this my life?
I say thinking this as I reach for the knife.
My mind slowly being driven by truths and lies.
Is this my only question?
I wonder as I'm fueled by my depression.
My want to finally make this confession.
Is this my only fate ?
I only believe that I can sit and just wait.
My life is in a worsening state.
Is this what I need to do?
I am uncertain if this is how to start anew.
My uncertainty is something I need to plow through.
Is this counseling really working?
I have wishes that this is certain.
My new ways seem so supporting.
Is this what I want?
I have to try to be more celebrant.
My joys must act more so an antidepressant.
Is this right?
I cover my sorrows at the sight.
My friends try to act as some sort of light.
Is this the end?
I hope you will be my friend.
My heart doesn't want to just pretend.
So please...
Please be my friend...
I don't want to be alone as I finally comprehend...
All these questions that I always suspend....
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 12:48 PM UTC
Who am I?
Am I all alone?
I have friends though,
At least that's what I want to believe.
How do people see me?
I see myself as a monster,
In fear and sorrow,
With scars on wrist.
They see a man who is happy,
That's because I want them to see that.
I lost myself long ago,
And the one I know is no longer so.
Do I need help?
Do I tell people how I really feel?
But then again everyone would just make it a big deal.
I want to say,
But I can't find that day.
I can't stop myself,
The thoughts just never go away.
And when they come,
The cuts come subconsciously.
I need help,
And will you be the one to make me stop.
I want to be myself again,
To find the brighter day,
To mend my broken soul.
But until then I sit in the cold rain,
The rain in my brain,
That causes all my pain.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 5:31 PM UTC
A poem a day,
Keeps the boredom away.
A poem a day,
Keeps the hurtful thoughts at bay.
A poem a day,
Will help me imagine more as I lay.
A poem a day,
Always helps me find my way.
A poem a day,
In hopes to one day be okay.
A poem a day,
Will always help my word play.
A poem a day,
Helps me to get away.
A poem a day,
To eventually take your breath away.
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 5:33 PM UTC
Glistening in the sun,
Sand can be so much fun.
A towel on the ground,
My worries are now unwound.
Children always laughing,
All the while they are splashing.
Little Birds dart back and forth,
Eating mollusks they work to unearth.
Crisp, clear, blue water,
Always to be seen in this saltwater.
Shells upon shells.
From conch to cockleshells.
Hot sun always lead to ice cream,
To help let off some steam.
So many reasons different for each,
On why the beach is so fun to reach.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 5:16 PM UTC
Dear Sunshine,
Thank you for waking me up today,
But the rainclouds won't go away.
It seems a little brighter today.
When you're here,
They seem to fade away.
Sometimes I feel afraid,
Sometimes I feel done,
But when I hold you tight,
You push the rainy day away.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:31 PM UTC
My looking is a little more forward,
Because you look at me.
My words are a little less empty,
Because you listen to me.
My standing is a little bit taller,
Because you sit with me.
My faith is a little bit stronger,
Because you trusted me.
Because you...are my world.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:28 PM UTC
Rainclouds,
They always seem to block the way.
The rain was cold,
My mind hurt and ached.
Life was in turmoil,
And I hated myself more everyday.
Then I let go to experince a new day.
I began to sing, play, forget,
And try to live for my own sake.
It all felt hopeless,
I ran as far as I could,
But never got away.
I thought of a beach,
A mistake that made me pay.
It hurt more and more,
As the clouds turned into a hurricane.
Everything began to break,
My will to live away.
Then one day,
A ray of sunshine,
Broke through my pain.
No longer the same pattern,
Damaged my brain.
I began to live life in a new way.
I wanted to live.
I wanted to make all the rain clouds go away.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:20 PM UTC
A ghost to all,
A ghost to be,
A ghost who wishes of a sunny sea.
A ghost who watches the downfall,
A ghost who will always agree,
A ghost who who fears being unseen.
Invisible to friends,
Always trying to please,
All I want is to be seen.
A once stream once happy,
Turned into a dark murky stream,
With a noose around it's seams.
This ghost just wants to be the one,
Who will make you his only,
And never be lonely.
It just requires to notice me.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:03 PM UTC
My life,
A lifeless stare
Its funny how one day,
you can be so happy.
Then the next day,
feel like the world,
is falling apart.
Maybe its for the best,
But it doesn't feel that way.
She would be happier.
I only cause problems.
I want to help more at my house,
I want to help those,
Who go through everyday,
How I feel right now.
I put on a fake face,
for those who see me.
I live lying to those,
who are the closest to me.
They see a smile,
Under that face,
Is someone who feels worthless.
Some one who feels that,
They need to fix their own life.
Some one who wants to die but,
For the will of others,
And for the want to help others,
Will never die.
An unburing flame in darkness,
My life...
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 2:53 PM UTC
An empty room,
An ode to the person I see,
A reminder that I'm not,
Who I want to be.
A lonely stare at a distant sea,
Patiently waiting,
On some sort of key,
That will help me open
Not so awkwardly,
And let others see,
What is really me.
An empty room,
A somber tune,
I want to be happy soon.
Such as the light of a full moon,
Over a salty, clear, lagoon.
As lonely as the far planet Neptune.
A want to one day have a honeymoon,
As I sit in the empty room,
Every afternoon.
An empty room,
Waiting to be filled,
Just as the farm plot waits to be tilled.
I find myself as unfulfilled,
A soul that needs to rebuild.
Why must these feelings,
Be forever instilled?
Why do I always feel so unfulfilled?
An empty room,
That just wants to be filled.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 2:47 PM UTC