Is it weird that I go through life
Times like now
Prime
And I don't wanna be bothered
Don't wanna be spoken to
Don't wanna be looked at
Don't wanna be catcalled nor seduced
Singing positive melodies in y head with a straight face on the outside
Won't let you in
Look where that got me last time
I don't wanna be bothered
With bs
With negative stanzas
With bs
With bd
With death
With dishonest
With ill intentions
I don't wanna be bothered
They profess the desire of a strong black woman
They lack the knowledge of all that comes with that
How she carries the baggage the world balanced on her back
While he's starring at her back side
Wonder what made it so fat?
Slide
I don't even want you near me
First dates can be ***** call invitations for somebody else
But honestly...
Your forwarding gestures to see my insides is an insult to my intelligence
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 6:26 AM UTC
Growing inside
Dependent on myself
As night time slides
And morning comes
I'm left to my thoughts
It's a scary
Belonging feeling
Alone is no longer an emotion
It's my other home
MapQuest the address roads in my mind
In depth
Destructions under construction
Why are your eyes closed?
I know you're awake
Use your other sense
Go beyond what you can see
Is it me?
Are you sure?
Is it really me or is it your ideology of who you want me to be?
Lonely walks with me
Hand in my own
Held
Because who else?
There's no one there
But silence never rings in these ears
Does that make the diagnosis schizophrenia
Or need for hypochondriacally longing to be wanted
Surely there's answers to my questions
but Dr. Who's PHD doesn't work on me without preauthorization.
This is why I don't let people in my head
Even my expectations never stop.
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 4:13 AM UTC
I should take a day off
Walk
Or Drive
Knowing my ending destination
Your house
Promising to stare
Sit and wait
Sit and wait
Why?
You owe me an explanation
What do I know?
The kind of car you drive
What time you leave for work
What time you're at the gym
When you'll be home
No
It's not what you think
I'm not a stalker
You told me
Remember?
We shared these memories
We used to be that close
Then
You ruined it
Ruined me
For the longest of time
Why wasn't I good enough for you?
I guess somethings go unexplained
But I'll be waiting
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:42 AM UTC
Why leave me this way?
You drive me crazy when you're away
Butterflies
Fluttering
Disappearing
Flying
Keeping me speechless
Yet I smile
I beg this feeling
Just stay for awhile
I blame the unknown
Things left unsaid
Forgotten
Broken phrases torn by stuttering
I blame the unknown for the silence it holds
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:26 AM UTC
There is an acquaintance that greets me in the dark
The lonely hour if you will
She never speaks
But yet..
We're alike
Slightly
She's about 5"6
Well rounded hips
I'm 5"2 and this...with big lips
She mirrors
In many ways of her, I'm jealous
Her only job is to shadow
Sitting back to watch me like TV
Everything motioning vibe is imitated
Sublimated
Compensated
Her wardrobe is like night
50 shades of gray
I just wish she would speak
Shadow
Give me something other than silence
If she could speak what would she say?
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:23 AM UTC
****** dot on the back of my head
There's more than that one
I feel it
One on every major ***** in between my chest and the place beyond my chastity belt
Red dot signals
Cooked behind the eyesight of him
Ex
Defriend
He sees
Dodging every glare of rage
When I'm out of sight everyone becomes a target of murderous words disguised as "I'll always be there for you"
XOXO
You're a bulls eye board
Cross no fingers
Hope
Too
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:10 AM UTC
What happened to the queens?
As a young woman
Refuse to discredit your happiness
Won't settle
Won't break
Pressure will bust a pipe
And does what to a diamond?
Creating within
Curved around the edges
I wish more women would think like me
Know your treasure
As rubies
Not door knobs
Can I blame society?
Or can I blame them for not valuing themselves and teaching these habits to their daughters into statistics of unhappiness?
Tilted crowns caused leaning crowns.
What happened to our queens?
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 3:57 AM UTC
No more distractions
I take the L
You the W
When You Walk Away
Breaking me
Fell 7 times
Got up 8
Then 9 then 10
Again and again and again and again
Is it me?
The goal?
I ponder
Is it not to be lonely or to be loved so there is no more love lost?
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 3:50 AM UTC
Please
Just
Let
Me
In
See..
I've been searching
Soul seeking
Secretly hiding sweaty palms
Sometimes a series
Solidifying itself
In my opinion
Me
You
We
But I can't let my walls down so now what?
Not those walls
My mental surroundings
Requirements rewinding resisted remixes of my wrath
I meant my past
Had no control
I'm sorry
Naïve me has molded
Everyone doesn't result in happy endings
They just replay could be's and keep breathing
Inhale...
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 3:42 AM UTC
I realized how much I missed you once you were inside of me
Pardon me
How forward?
Didn't anticipate the chemistry
Our fire
Is it the love we make like Avant?
Or the juices gushing
Blood rushing
The met tempo
We know each other
Shiver
Goosebumps
Sweat dripping onto the body below
Not buckets
Just enough to focus on the effort
I realized I craved you
Memory of your mouth in tingly places
Scratch the sugar coating
Your tongue
My ****
Riding your face until I ******
One finger here
One finger there
*** meeting your mouth
Feeding
Midnight snacking
Its been so long
Why?
Reminiscing on the feeling
**** magic
We created hurricanes of pleasure
Earthquake sensations
Tsunami cascades
Ecstasy soaks the sheets
Wring them out
Twisting
Like a towel to drain water before washing your face
I glance down
Riding the wave
I missed my satisfaction evidence on your mouth
Tasting of honey
Sensing the loss of your presence as if you're not here
You aren't
Don't you remember?
Nights in nirvana
Our eyes meeting
Lights on
I saw seduction in your glare as the visuals met reality
Teasing
Tip
Tricky sensation
Impressing the intensity
Two hand stroking
Spit
Frustrating your mind in the best of ways
Shifting to stop me fell upon deaf ears
Exploding into an entry
My jaws accepting
Swallowing your member
Inhaling the load to choke out your insecurities
All I desire is you
Subliminal body calling
Come over
What are you doing to me?
There's no place I'd rather be
Rounds
Distracted in you
High inside
On the outside
Grip
My waist
Standing
Legs surrounding your stance
Bouncing in air
Like a ball
*****
Smacking skin
While ponding from behind
******* frustration
******* the frustration while thumbs fit perfectly in the back dimple spaces
You give me fever
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 3:36 AM UTC