Why am i being tested
Why is it i have to go through so many forests of thorns
And Make it out just to have one visible route ahead
an even bigger forest of even sharper thorns
Im being shredded
Cut, bruised
Im bleeding and blistered
My body isn't lasting these tests
My mind is wavering
Thoughts build and crash like the waves against the rocks
Everyone doubts me
To the point where I can't help but doubt myself.
Friends, family, coworkers, teachers
They all write me off
before I can try
So whats the point in taking the test
Everyones already failed me
I take a step forward only to be pushed back several
Its taken me a long time to get this far
but i still see nothing but test after test
More pain and what is there to gain
Why fight for time when time is pain
People see a smile but im gritting my teeth
Some see what they're doing
Some are oblivious
But no one understands my tests
Im hunched in agony daily and thats not another metaphor
I try my best but its just not enough
How many tests are left
How many more will i make it through
before it breaks
my body fails
And my mind fractures
One thing I know about me
I am strong
But your only as strong as your weakest part
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 19, 2020 at 11:16 PM UTC
Oh to love
I am cusred with the knowledge of of love
To be loved
Never will it end
To have ones heart broken
Torn apart
Oh to be naive
Naive again
To not know
The pain
The gaping hole in your heart
Your chest
The ache
The longing for the feeling
Oh to be loved
Is all you ever want
Ever Crave
You hope for yesterday
You hope for tomorrow
Oh to be loved
The greatest feeling
So human
So Normal
To want to love
To have love
To have it build up inside you
To the point where you think you will explode
It Has such power
Oh to love
Spin my head and my heart
I beg
I want to want
And I want to feel
To never be alone
To have a parter of everything
To be complete
Different parts of a puzzle
That shouldn't fit
But somehow do
Making the impossible, possible
That is love
Oh to love
Oh to love
Jan 23, 2020
Jan 23, 2020 at 10:33 PM UTC
Had my first one night stand
But all i wanted was to walk hand in hand
With you
My bear
Now im in despaire
Wishing you were there
Never will i wish you bad luck
But I hate you
And i love you
But i miss you so much
I miss your touch
Kisses in the night
Now i gotta fight my head
Wondering why
Why aren't you here
Why are you there
I was good to you
How you doing so well
Without me
How do you cope
I can't describe my loneliness
Emotional pain, turns physical
My chest is about to burst
Im miserable
But what does that mean
To you
Nothing
You may care
Cuz I gave you me heart bare
Everything i had was yours
But your not mine anymore
Time to live my life for me
Learnt to give nothing to anyone but me
Live my own life
Cuz i gave everything and got nothing
I lost my heart
Its gone
I gave it to you
My first love
My bear
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 22, 2019 at 10:17 PM UTC
Do you like me?
You act as if you like me
But that doesn't mean you do
You smile when you see me
Your aware of me i think?
Is she here
Yes i am
You joke in a way only you could get away with
But you do that with everyone
There were rumours
That you liked me
Do you like me?
You might like me
Your there for me
Your a great friend
A best friend
You must like me
You message me almost every day
You take the time to talk to me
But you talk to everyone
Do you like talking to me?
Do you talk to me because you want to
Or because you know I like it when you talk to me?
I think you like me
But thats all I'll do
Because I know theres someone with you
Im aloud to question
Im aloud to think
Your my friend
But, do you like me?
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 20, 2019 at 10:52 PM UTC
I found someone that could see me
But he closed the door
Now im back in the darkness like before
Rivers in my eyes
How can i disguise
I want to die
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 20, 2019 at 10:16 PM UTC
I was smiling for a while
You set me free from my own disguise
I felt so safe, you were my favourite place
Somehow you made it easy
Easy to let go
I forgot my pain
But turns out it was all a game
You broke every promise
Maimed the meaning
You were my everything but what was I
I found someone that could see me
But he closed the door
Now im back in the darkness like before
Rivers in my eyes
How can i disguise
I want to die
Banging on the door
how long will you ignore
For a while i was smiling
Until you changed your mind
I wasn't worth your time
Everyday i loved you
Everyday i waited
I tried to change it back
You still said you loved me
But your distance said otherwise
I was smiling for a while
Until you were gone
You still said you loved me
But the words were empty
I thought you were the key
You unlocked me
And made me believe
We were forever
But apparently not ment to be
I was smiling for a while
I comfort in having never given up
I don't regret a thing
But hate our end
Your my best friend
And my forever
My heart is gone because its gone along with you.
Thank you, for I was smiling for a while
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 1:07 PM UTC
I miss saying i love you
I loved you then
I love you now
We were best friends
Every smile came from you
Now tears do
I miss saying i love you
I miss saying it in the morning
I miss saying it at night
The feeling i would explode if i didn't tell you right then and there
I love you, i love you, i love you
Now you tell someone else
Now im a stranger
Now im not important
Maybe i don't love you now?
Maybe i do?
I definitely did
It was magic
Fairytale love
Love that could move mountains
Why did we end, i will always wonder
I miss saying I love you
I love you.
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 12:29 AM UTC