It's been four years since I last wrote anything here; reading my past stuff makes me squirm a little at how dramatic I was back then but I guess I haven't changed as much as I would like to believe. I'm not really sure what I want this account to be now; before it was obvious that it was just an outlet to let my negative emotions out but I'm past that part in my life, I think? I guess I just want to say what I feel and not worry about how it will change how people see me.
That already sounds pretty shallow though doesn't it? I think so, but I don't want to trouble anyone or make them feel bad for me. Its strange that after all this time of feeling at least okay to really good, I'm starting to feel sad again; I wonder why that is? I guess it's because I feel like no one cares about me as much as I care about them. It's hard to believe someone when they say they care about you and then when you try to reach out you don't hear back from them. I get that everyone is busy, I'm pretty busy too, but you don't have enough time to spare a few seconds to reply?
That's where the problem comes in you see? I can't tell anyone that because all it will do is make them feel bad and create a fake version of what I'm looking for. I guess what I really want is for someone to genuinely care enough to just take the 5 seconds to say something back, I already did the hard part by saying something first right?
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 1:26 AM UTC
I promise to love you unconditionally and wholly, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth and to inspire you to be a better person in a little way each day and always respect and listen to what you have to say.
I promise to stay at your side, for better or for worse, to never leave you because you are a blessing and not a curse. To support your dreams and thoughts, and to cry with and hold you during our roughest spots.
Today I take you to be my wife, for you I would gladly give up my life.
I take this ring as a reminder for our lasting commitment to one another. I take this ring as a symbol to stay loyal to each other.
I have only but a single life, and I now pledge it to you my one and only wife.
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 8, 2015 at 8:26 AM UTC
Theres nothing like writting on pages and filling them with your mind
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 8:14 PM UTC
i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 6:54 PM UTC
Someone please hold me back from breaking something
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 11:44 PM UTC
It's not going to be today, you're just going to keep pushing it farther and farther back
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 11:44 PM UTC
I wish i was exaggerating on how its always one good thing then a string of bad.
My luck is always the worst, i always complain about how i'm cursed. But i'm not lying, it ***** how hard im always trying. Good fortune just doesnt come my way that much, when it does its always just a touch.
It never hangs around, it always feels like I'm hell bound. Why can't I just be free? Why can't I just say "I'm glad to be me"?
I hate my luck, and its not just my attitude. I always try to have gratitude!
The universe just hates me, what rotten luck! I wish the majority of things that happened to me didnt **** I wish it didnt feel like im being tested, i just want to feel rested! I want to have a break from this, i want to have a turn in being surrounded by bliss. I want things to work in my favor, not always tasting a bitter flavor.
Somday ill get my turn, someday ill be free but until then....its just bad luck and me.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 10:27 PM UTC
How quick i am to leave permenant reminders on my body for moments of psychological pain
But then again, those moments are excruciating and overwhelming, swalloing all other thoughts
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 13, 2015 at 7:51 PM UTC
The pain that I never show,
Is the pain that you'll never know.
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 3:29 PM UTC