What will make my life worth living
with ‘The Great Pain’ that’s yet to come?
I’ve stewed
I’ve mused
my mind’s diffused
all the good things that I’ve done
… I could split the atom
… I could heal all cancers
… I could solve World Wars
… or a formula for happiness
But my mind still fuses
in loops
and confusions,
chasing impossible goals
and wishful delusions…
To make my life worth living…?
To make my life worth living…?
To make my life worth living…?
STOP!
Wait.
Recalibrate…
New sights
New sounds
New people
New towns
I do have a life worth living…
And I ****** LOVE IT !!
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 11:56 AM UTC
The Aufbau principle
Otherwise known as ‘Building up’
A euphemism for the stepping stones
That lead to another space
Where courage re-kindles
Leaving behind the parts I’ve outgrown
Is it truly possible to be on a journey
Without knowing the destination?
Testing each tributary
Meandering, this way and that
When still in the same boat
In the same county
Clasping the same compass?
It’s time to step-up, to be the navigator
Of my future…
The explorer
The healer
The nurturer
The visionary
The sorcerer…
Shame on me
Shame
Shame
Shame
Shame
Shame on me
But…
‘The only way out, is through
My self-curated rapid river
With twists, turns, riptides, dead-calms and eddies
‘Scouting’ for a route that’s real
‘Cartwheeling’
Towards resilience
‘Portaging’
Towards forgiveness
An equilibrium between striving and acceptance
Trusting that broken backs and blistered fingers
Will make success feel all the sweeter
So, stay with the process
Knowing, ‘nothing good ever comes easy’
Aufbau all the way, as Bohr might say
Building-up
Atom by atom
Scrap by scrap
To solve the mystery of real meaning
To find the ‘X’ upon my map
Apr 27
Apr 27, 2026 at 8:35 AM UTC
Dear Body,
I thank you for loving me back when I didn’t love you
I thank you for carrying me through the places we didn’t belong
I thank you for healing my heart from the inside out
And I thank you for helping me dance to the end of each song
I thank you for remembering how to give me deep joy
And I thank you for gifting me the freedom of choice
I thank you for not turning to cold rock or stone
And I thank you for the chance of empowering my voice
I also give thanks for your impartial forgiveness
And I thank you too for your steel-hard strength
I thank you for holding my soft soul with tenderness
And I thank you for affording me a life well spent
So what a truly admirable body you are
And know I shall respect you right up to our end
For this is my sincerest pledge to you
Forever together, my ardent and hardy very best friend
Sally 🐞
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 7:35 AM UTC
The past has passed
The future’s unsown
My place in this world
A palpable unknown
My purpose in question
The ache that awaits
I can only but feel
I’ve left it too late
So this is my mantra
For the time that remains
‘‘My Joy is My King
And I shall never be tamed’’
Sally 🐞
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 10:29 AM UTC
Some days the world is just a place
inside your head
Your voice
Your breath
So still
So dead
Breathe in
Breathe out
Feel the life within each cell
You’ve earnt the piece where peace
should dwell
Your place
Your space
Your pace
Own your steps
Your story awaits
Sally
Mar 1
Mar 1, 2026 at 7:01 AM UTC
Finally a calmness prevails before me
A stillness
Soul searching paused
My fretful mind feeling strangely fine
But will it last?
Only time will tell
This re-learning…
The hardest time of my life
I had no idea how strong I was
Until being strong was the only choice I had
But now I know
It was oh so worth the ache…
The thought of a ‘bird-free’ meaningful me
Not just a dream
But a reality waiting in its wake
Sally 🐞
Feb 28
Feb 28, 2026 at 3:58 AM UTC
A blanket of fresh snow
Falls and smothers crumbs of normal life
My fretful thoughts are magnified
Others see no sun or signs of life
How to stop the spiral
When my emotions flood to the bone…
…Remember I’m my kind of cool
The good, the bad, they’re all mine to own
Sally 🐞
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 2:31 PM UTC
Menopause IS a grief
Lost could-have-beens
Lost loves
Lost tone
Lost significance
Lost drive
Lost shine
Less time
Yes, menopause is a grief…
More tears
More night disturbances
More anxiety
More uncertainty
More rumination
Deep introspection
But menopause is a chance to change over…
No rat-race to bleed over
Not a new chapter
But a new book
Lessons embedded by our ancestors
A chance to re-evaluate
Like Michelangelo’s David…
‘Chip away what isn’t true’
To reveal the work of art
That exists below the fabric, that is no longer you
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 7:43 AM UTC
Never ever will I rely just on me
I thought I could
But I was wrong
It takes more than ‘1’ to complete a sum
Never ever will I be so blind
My head pressed down
My *** held up
I lost authenticity in a world ruled by complicity
Never ever will I neglect my inner child
She is the one
With the smile
The salt to my snow, forever my warm and gentle glow
Never ever will I blame myself again
No cross words
No sad stares
My body knows before my mind, so listen up and be kind
Never ever will I stop looking out
Think ‘what’s next?’
And bring much joy
Be the change I want to see, for this is the path I want for me
Never ever will I think my time is done
No longer tired
More life to come
So be yourself, your inner battles have been hard won
🌈
Feb 14
Feb 14, 2026 at 2:08 AM UTC
Is it possible to lose something you never had?
Like a promise that’s left open
Like a tree that’s not borne fruit
Like the presence of a beloved ghost
Was it all just an illusion?
Will the magic stop?
Will the foundations crumble…
Into pebbles
Crushed beneath the sea
Never to feel the radiance of a sun-filled day again?
No.
Take these pebbles
Place them in a shallow stream
And let the warmer waters wash over them
With the resonance of brighter days
Smoothing the flow for more to come
Because striving for your dream
Is hard…
But when it’s everything you need
Salt water
Is never
A stream
Sally
Feb 13
Feb 13, 2026 at 11:54 AM UTC