For so long I have let my scars heal,
But then I met you.
For so long I healed myself of all things bad.
But then I met you.
For so long I kept my composure and let you in,
But in the end you took your hands and ripped every scar open.
You removed every stitch and band-aid from my heart and held it in your cold palms that represented your soul.
I watched you slowly crumble and break every piece with no hesitation.
For so long my heart was finally whole,
but then i met you...
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018 at 10:54 AM UTC
Last night I endured something hard,
God couldn't help me , I couldn't just wish on stars.
I cut until i bled and today it is nothing but scars.
The thought of me in the hospital is all I see ,
Or laying in bed just crying .
They see me as this tall ,strong girl , but honestly....I feel alone in the world
I honestly have nothing left here, All I have is dried up tears ,
The thought of me being here hurts , knowing everything I touch it hurts .
Tonight I dream , I contemplate , what I should do ....Should I stay or go .
No religion can save me , No God, No pills. I'm on my own
In the shadow called home.
My mother says she doesn't love me , and today those words haunt me.
I try to pick myself up ,but it feels like im falling , because i know my life isn't worth trying.
Have you ever been told someone doesn't love you , who you thought was always gonna be there for you ? Have you ever been told thar you can't make it , not by yourself but by the people who made you .
Have you ever...been..told?
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 9:36 AM UTC
I have hard time believing you when you say you love me. The words fall into a hole called a lie . If you loved me would you hurt me the way you do ? If you loved me would you be out with her and leave me alone ? Why is that you do all you can to get me to stay around , but you don't even stay around yourself ? I don't understand your judgement , your logic . What do you want me to do ? I don't understand....
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 7:41 AM UTC
My alarm clock beeps, and rings.
I walk over to the mirror and i just stare , Its like a path that never ends....
I open my makeup box , and walk to the bathroom, "Gosh! "i say I nearly stumbled over the crooked floorboard .
I refrain from looking in the mirror before I start my make-up.
I wash my face ,the tears stains disappear i soon pat the dripping water from my mouth .
I reach for my make-up box and look into the mirror .
"Another day.." I sigh as I pull out my eyebrow pencil.
.finished my look I just stare and sigh . Remembering the night i had , Flash backs from my nightmares of pain and screaming, The flashing caused me to fall over and break the mirror, shards fly everywhere, Im back in the nightmare that haunts everynight , I look at my hands i feel a cool sensation. I am covered by the blood of the victim.
IM GUILTY! I scream
I clasp my hand over my mouth quickly.
my mind plays over"She deserve it , shes bad, shes gone...."
Its over....
soon later a police officer and a forensic specialist came in ....
Examined the body , and dust the finger prints off a gun a 9 mm.
The lady laid dead on the floor , blood pooling from the head .
As the specialist swabbed for evidence , he leans to the officer and gasps .
"Wait I know this woman...... Its my mother"
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 11:06 PM UTC
What do you first think of when you see the word anger ?
Does it fill you up slowly....
Uncontrollably enraged.
The urge to shout.
Your leg starts to shake fast and steady .
The feeling of drowning slowly .
To turn into a volcanoe and erupt.
But ....
You can't let it show ...
Keep your composure.
Be the good girl everyone wants you to be ....
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 10:35 PM UTC
I put my headphones in watching the scenery go by.
I look up at the night sky speeding past .
The tires of the car are steadly driving
practically kissing the road .
Silence is my bestfriend.
We spend days togehter, and nights together.
I look up at my parents at them.
My dad looks at me through the mirror and says "val why are you quiet? Are you okay ?"
I paused my music shrugged and said the normal "I'm fine"
I play my music again .
Little did they know I learned something about myself,
the things I can do . My parents say one thing
,But their minds say something else . Yes I can read minds, I don't want to seek help from my parents because they would either
A. Think I'm crazy or
B.Send me to some testing facility .
We are riding to my new boarding school RoseHaven . The students there seem to have powers too , but it's a secret .
I hope I make new friends . I'm really nervous ...
We finally pull up to the school .
My parents walk me from the parking lot ,to the court yard, to the headmasters. I say goodbye to my parents. I wasn't sad about leaving my parents, they always focused on the job.
I finally have time with the headmasters.......
TO BE CONTINUED
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 3:35 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder if "wonderland " Is real ...
I wonder into a locked room . No one is there but the deceased bugs on the window sill . A room with just a mirror . I put my hand through . It reflected and bounced as I removed my hand . I stared in Awe , I walked through. I begin to fall plummiting into what seemed like nothing. I land and I walk out a tiny tiny door . Im in paradise . I meet mr Hatter we take a little visit to the Queen Of Hearts castle .
Later on ....
I'm at a tea party with the Mad Hatter.
We continuously laugh, until tea runs from our noses, and faces red as cherries.
We pour more tea and sip proudly as we laugh look across the table
to see The Queen Of Hearts Head on one of the platters.
Me and Mr . Hatter laugh once more as the blood drips from her neck and gets caught on the plate.
Mr. Hatter leans over to me as we laugh, it gets silent.
He says " Val you are mad "
I respond saying ..... "were all mad here "
#aliceinwonderland
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 4:51 PM UTC
Someone
asked me if I
knew you
A million
memories flashed
through my mind
but I just smiled and said I used to
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 10:35 AM UTC
I lay against the cold wood , I hear the sounds of raindrops against the window pane .
I was alone.
I was cold .
I screamed for help , but the only rescue I got was my razor.
As I lifted it for the last time
A tear fell down my cheek . The only sound I hear are the kids
Laughing.
Bullying.
Calling me names .
I raise the razor up lightly and twiddled it in my fingers
The clock is ticking .
I put the razor on my skin ,
I carved , deeper than ever .
I feel pain , I cry some more .
Knowing that I'm slowly reaching my vains. ..
I cut my vain , blood draining, pouring out .
I fell across the floor ,
knowing no one would remember my name .
My story .
My life
My emotions .
My world slowly goes dark . All I hear is my heartbeat, and the clock.
Darkness was surrounding me , the wood floor is getting colder.
It fell like a deep eternity , I feel free.
As if I turned into a bird and flew .
Far away .
That was always my dream ,
Now I'm living it ....
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 10:18 AM UTC
I remembered in science class
We watched this video about the water cycle
They said something about rain
And how they were in those things called clouds
How over time they would cool down
And how they fall
Tiny drops plummeting to Earth
Conforming into shape wherever they ended up
In definite volume when in constant pressure and temperature
As they slowly become the makings of the oceans
Waves crushing, brushing over the shores, hiding what's below
Each wave a secret the ground could never know
But they gave it life and motion
Luscious colors, traces of red, blue, yellow
All combining into everything else, for everyone else
But they themselves only embraced what was around
Made to be see-through
But they never noticed
How in yourself you drowned
They played with you, toyed with you
Abused you, consumed you
Under the sun, broad day
In plain sight you slowly fade
But they never noticed
Until it was too late
Only then they called you, knew your name
Said something about the rain
About those clouds they didn't see
As guilty tears went down their cheeks
They call you now
But you can't speak
It's a cycle, they said
Something that never ends
Yet here I am longing
I remembered you in science class
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 15, 2017 at 10:13 AM UTC