You ask what i want you to say but even in my own mind it feels like a game.
A sunken ship, no way to escape.
Feels like a puzzle, with no coordinating pieces.
It's the most stressful assignment. The easiest mission.
God is fooling me
Satan is pushing me it seems
It all feels so wrong and yet so right
The gunshots at the wedding
You know the meaning
We’ve discussed it
The risk of love
The risk of us
The deathly toll that hangs above your head
It's too dangerous
The dream
It's a warning
Blood for release
Release for victory
You could be used as leverage
I wont let that happen
Not to such an innocent flower
I can not bring my hell unto you
I feel like this happens everytime
We run this same race
You forget
Youre a heaven
While i am a Hell
You a pure white cloth while I a red linen
Two different worlds clash everytime we kiss
While i crave the feeling
I know the consequences
The emotional weight i leave you when we part
The High i get is the low you recieve
I never meant to hurt you.
To make you feel defeated.
To push you over the edge
You tell me im a good person but it's the opposite.
I don't deserve you.
You give me so much,
An escape when i need it,
A loving family, a home.
All i give you is hell and my cursed self
I try to change myself for you but the darkness always takes over.
I can't deny it, the black calls for me.
i know you need me as much as i need you.
I need you like the lungs need oxygen..
Like the wolves need the sheep.
You are my saving grace.
I feel as though all i am for you is your death wish.
I ruin you.
I hurt you.
I bring you agony.
I hate myself .
You love me.
All i am is demented and a wretch.
All i am is a demon killing you slowly.
Im sorry. Im nothing compared to an angel like you.
Mar 8, 2019
Mar 8, 2019 at 11:29 AM UTC
I hear the whispers and all i think is
Why im not good enough?
Why im not complete?
What did i do to make them feel this way?
To hate me?
To feel rage?
All i do is i stay below
Try to keep calm with my head down low
I take the words
Their lethal blow
And feel the sadness
From head,
To toe
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 4:04 PM UTC
Living Life On A String,
Afraid To Fall,
Afraid To Sing.
Seeking Out The Calmest Storm,
Nothing Else,
Nothing More.
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 12:08 PM UTC
You had a million reasons to stay,
And yet you chose to walk away,
From everything you held dear,
All because of fear,
It breaks my heart all over again,
when someone asks me
where've you been or am I alright?
Why my smile has lost its shine,
Its all because that night,
You chose to walk away,
To the heavenly gates,
Your memory is burned into my mind,
The way your eyes used to shine,
This guitar gets hard to play without you near,
And it all happens over again when someone asks,
Where you've been or am I alright?
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 10:01 AM UTC
Miles apart
A love thats burning within
Two beating hearts
Do you remember when we met back then
The day was bright and warm
Just like your smile
We were standing outside of the school doors
My heart was beating at the speed of a million miles
Everytime i see you my soul smiles
Our hearts beating in sync
I knew you felt it when that song played
And you grabbed my hand and my heart sang
We danced as though no one else was looking
The truth, they were all staring at the beautiful connection that was becoming
The pairing of You and Me
The sweet sweet symphony
I, the melody
You, the harmony
An addicting composition
Of just you and me
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 2:32 PM UTC
I act as though im bulletproof
I act as though your words don't hurt me
I act as though im as confident in myself as the most precious thing in the world
I act as though i am tough
I act as though i knew what was coming
I act as though i know exactly what i'm doing
I act as though i don't care
I act as though nothing matters
I act as though it's all going to go away
I act as though i don't love you
I act as though everything you do doesn't makes me happy
I act as though i never cared
I act as though i can't be hurt
I act as though my life is ok
I act as though my heart is hard enough that love can't affect me
I act as though i thought i would be able to do this
I act as though the sight of blood doesn't make me want to *****
I act as though my feelings aren't meaningful
I act as though everything is perfect
The truth is i'm not bulletproof
The truth is your words do hurt me
The truth is i'm not confident at all
The truth is im weak
The truth is i didn't know what was coming
The truth is i have no idea what i'm doing
The truth is i care
The truth is everything matters
The truth is it's never going away
The truth is everything you do makes me happy
The truth is i cared
The truth is i can be hurt
The truth is my life is shifty
The truth is my heart is empty
The truth is i want to ***** at the sight of blood
The truth is my feelings **** me
The truth is nothing's perfect
Especially me and i hope you can accept that
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 12:20 PM UTC
The sun
It sinks
Into a deep sea;
On the horizon
The moon is arising,
In the opposite sea.
As the dusk nears,
The stars appear
They tell a story
Of a time where,
The sun and the moon
Would breathe the same air
And the moon
She would swoon
For her sun.
The romance began
They saw more and more
From the outside in
The sun was in love
The romance a sin
Day by Day
Year by Year
The moon would sing
When her sun was near.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
It surrounds like a dark cloud,
All this hatred,
No verbal bounds.
The screaming,
It may never cease,
The pain,
It slowly creeps,
I fight the emotions,
I fight the sound,
Of the cursed words,
The battle ground.
I defend,
My sisters sins,
To keep her innocent,
To let her win.
I fight,
This treacherous battle,
Between a mother and I,
To get closer,
To get by.
It seems as though,
When I try,
All im left with is the feeling,
To cry.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 12:09 PM UTC