We all have dreams.
Our personal nightmares take them away.
Then we get used to it
We dont dream at night anymore
The darkness keeps us in fear
We light candles.
In rooms that remind us of all we used to have.
Still holding, still waiting and then suffacating
So fractured, reacting, till we pack up and hide away
We lost faith
No God, no reasons just not believing
We had hope
But the world somehow won over and stole it away.
It's funny I inspired but now I'm left with nothing but tears
My crying, my hopelessness and lost years.
It gets better I say, and question that again
We all have choices to make or to take
Roads lead to demise or fate
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 3:46 PM UTC
Sometimes I thought if I let it go
I would be letting go of my world
Because what I held
seemed like all of it
The world wrapped tightly
in my finger tips
I just wanted to hold it, all of it
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 5:49 PM UTC
Some of us
Seduced by the darkness
Manipilated by its power
Others
Addicted to the light
Praising with hands held high
We stand baffled
In midst of our choices
Neither makes sense
Neither is us
Neither one is the way
May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 6:54 PM UTC
I just want to feel like i matter
But i dont.
Somehow i am spinning
But laying still.
He lies in bed while i cant sleep
I want to run from here.
How can love be so angry?
My heart beats
But i touch myself to learn i still exist.
Does this jealousy have an answer?
He rather confide in her
Leaving me wondering whats wrong.
May 17, 2018
May 17, 2018 at 12:52 AM UTC
We sit.
We wonder about possibilities
Counting them on our walls
Narrowing down their importance.
We linger far too long.
Missing what could have been.
So we stay there...
Sitting still.
May 8, 2018
May 8, 2018 at 8:10 PM UTC
Trees form in my eyes.
Leaves falling fast,
Will they wither or?
Can trees imagined die so quickly?
The images brought me comfort.
But now, How do I stand this agony?
He grabs me.
-awakening me from this vision
"Don't you see?" he whispers.
I see what has been but where am I now?
"You're with me" - "You are happy"
But still I'm haunted by mental illness and hospitals
It follows, it clings, it won't let me be.
"You're here now - far from there"
His eyes show truth,
I fall again.
He always awakens me
-I let the moment in
Now I can see.
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 1:12 PM UTC
I sit here eating a bagel.
Wondering how many calories are in cream cheese.
My eyes are 360 on this pedestal surrounded by books and humanity.
I see a man pick up a bible
He seems lost in his contemplating
Does he believe?
Will he believe?
It doesn't matter to me.
I'm happy with this bagel.
I'm satisfied by simplicity.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 10:40 AM UTC
Blacken my heart
Capture my Soul
All these ways
And I don't know where.
Where to go?
Anger boils my core
Alone I wander
My heart beats softly
And I want to know why
Why it beats on?
Time continues to haunt me
Clinging to the past
It grips me tightly
And I need to know how
How I let go?
Am I found now?
No. Surely I am lost
My nature has left me
It tempted me with a place to go
It whispered why I am here
And then it told me to let go,
by giving into the pain.
I didn't want to listen
Just let me stay here with my questions.
It's comfortable having that control
It's peaceful to live within the known.
Apr 2, 2018
Apr 2, 2018 at 4:23 PM UTC
Breathe,
Please for the sake of your heart.
Stop yelling!
Stop digging your grave deeper.
He wouldn’t hear, even if I spoke louder than his anger.
The frustration is building.
His fear, his brokenness.
A man tortured by an illness
A life not lived,
a person not changed.
From the bottle
to the cigarette
to the stabilizer
Fifteen year chip and he’s still the same
A woman helpless to helping him
“What did I do she always asks?”
As if she is to blame for his outbursts
his anger that covers his depression and regret
She’s not a victim, she has a family that supports her
If she could find the strength after thirty years
Married under a church and steeple, for best or for worst
Well what about her best? her Worst?
What about his decaying health?
Someone just walk away
Is there anything worth saving?
Besides themselves?
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 8:43 AM UTC
I will take the bad with the good,
every moment that I have,
I will make it good.
And when the rain just won’t end
or the snow settles in,
I will part the clouds within my heart.
Cause this existence is what I was given,
and this person is who I am.…
And I love it,
I love this!
I do.
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 8:31 AM UTC