The little girl inside of me was feeling so small. She was aching badly, her heart was going to burst out and so was mine.
She ached for both of us, and I, I ached for her. I ached for my skin, for My pores and the discolorations on my face, I ached for my hair, ached for my split ends damaged by time and negligence, I ached for my nails, too big too hard too yellow too something, I ached for my fat, ached for my stretch marks I ached for my love handles, muffin top, little pouch on my not so flat stomach or any extra something that might not always be considered nice , I ached for my fingers, I ached for my thighs, I ached for my teeth, I ached for my nose, I ached for my forehead and my hairline that was too uneven too messy too something. I ached so badly for the barely audible voice of the little girl inside of me when she was trying to cheer me up this morning, whispering that I can do it, that I should do it I should care for myself. I should take a bath put a face mask on brush my hair and be gentle!! “You’re doing this because you love yourself, you want to take care of it” she’d whisper. I ache for her and how she’s slowly getting smaller now, soon she’ll fade and I’ll be left with no one to help me wake up in the morning. I’ll ache for my heart, who’s had more than enough pain but still receives more punches, my heart will ache for itself it will ache for the both of us as it sees me wilting away as I mourn the little girl that was once the voice of hope in me. I ache for my aching and for the fact that I don’t know how long I can fight before I fade away too.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 5:44 PM UTC
Are you your type of person?
Do you admire the way you see things?
Has pain smudged your brain
and inked blackness
that seeped in the holes of
the remnants of your soul
or are you still able to think?
Is your heart still yours to feel whatever you please?
to love and hate and never cease to see
the light at the end of the tunnel
at the end of a long dreary road
to find color in a black and white world?
or has the severity of it all made it bleed
blinded it and left nothing but a travesty?
Are you still a person?
After all that you’ve endured
Is your mind still able to find
spots of light to shine
on the darkest depths of you?
or did your fire die long ago
accompanying the innocence that abandoned you with your childhood?
Do you still have your mind?
or did your thoughts become nothing but replications
of what others seem to do?
did the world get to you?
Do you remember who you were before?
when you were yours
or are you too scared to think on your own?
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 10:04 AM UTC
We’re only flesh and bone
So why do you feel like an ethereal creature made of my favorite things molded into one?
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 3:26 PM UTC
Lately I've been homesick
For the girl I used to be
Im in the same place with the same people
But the loneliness lays in me
I'm a hopeless romantic who's found love
Yet my heart has been ripped from my sleeve
Deep down, all the things I used to cherish have been shoved
The crazy, tea-drinking, book-reading girl is who I grieve
I'm a mere skeleton of the free spirit I was
I've been chasing a warm cozy feeling but it was never retrieved
For the home I've been feeling for is inside of me
My life may be onto better things but still I reminisce
For the girl who would so simply find bliss
My problems have been solved
So why does it hurt?
Maybe it's time
I put my heart back out onto my shirt
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 14, 2017 at 11:21 AM UTC
I don't stand a chance in this chaotic world
Without your soothing voice I know I'll crumble
I want to feel small in your lap and just curl
While your whispers silence the hateful mumbles
I need you to stay and dizzy me with kisses
Distract me from this cruel judmental life
And the way I die everytime I hear the hisses
And the words that cut like knife
Take me, make me yours consume me
Pull me close don't allow me to even dwell
Let's create a world just for us let us be
Free for once from this living hell
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 6:11 PM UTC
I'm a warrior
But not like any other
The enemy isn't other people
It's in my head
I fight and strive
In hopes that I'll survive
The storms of hatred
Towards me from within me
It's a self-made war
Within my mind
Within my soul
I'm a warrior and I hope I won't lose this war
Aug 5, 2017
Aug 5, 2017 at 10:02 AM UTC
*Never fall in love with a poet
for their words are sometimes lies
on occasions they're a shield
on occasions a disguise
They will take you on a journey
upon which they bare their soul
in a bid to ease your burdens
in a bid to make you whole
But in every word they choose
for the stories that they tell
lies a little piece of heaven
and a little piece of hell
Tormented souls we poets are
sometimes quite broken and despaired
in search of lost expressions
missed by others who once cared
Never fall in love with a poet
unless you're prepared to share their pain
to hold them close on the darkest nights
over and again*
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 9:30 PM UTC
Your honey lips
Are still sweet
Even after the spills
Of bitter lies in discreet
My foolish heart
Still melts
Still considers you as art
After all the pain it felt
You have me wrapped
Around your oh so lovely finger
Even after all that happened
And all those lying whispers
I love you too much
To let you think
that I can live without your touch
Without us having a link
I'm in so deep
But please don't break me again
Try for us and let us keep
What we have despite all the pain
Your honey lips are for me
even after all that mayhem
No matter what lies they speak
I still crave to kiss them
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 4:43 PM UTC
I'm always the one to blame
In a mess and confusion
And all I do is just aim
To get there closer
In that place of yours
It shouldn't be this way
I'm not supposed to ask
You'd have to want me night and day
I shouldn't have to talk
But you keep pushing me away
Doing the exact opposite of what I please
Of what you want
Was it all just lies?
I know you're true
Maybe it's just that life's a bit dull
But your mind is a rainbow
You just don't let it shine
But again it's just my fault
I'm always the one to blame
I never work hard enough
And then I sit alone with guilt
Eating me alive with every word
You whisper or text
It's all the same
Empty words in an empty world
And I'm always the one to blame
Jul 24, 2017
Jul 24, 2017 at 6:46 PM UTC
Is it written on my face?
The pain I feel inside
Tonight, my heart is joyless
I can feel the broken pieces
As they throb inside my chest
This loveless life I lead
I am a poet working overtime
Like the misery inside of me
Like the lunacy that calls to me
To the angel who stalks my every dream
Please take the time to rescue me
For my shredded soul is fading
Darkness overtaking
The burden of my sorrow
No clear skies tomorrow
Angel can you hear me?
I'm sinking deeper in dismay
Eyes becoming jaded
I'm growing tired of fighting
Hold me in your arms
Show me that there's more to life
More than endless heartache
Embrace me with your ethereal flesh
And know I'll feel the same
For this soul is yours to take
What's left of me
This empty tank
This broken tragedy
And when I fall into your arms
Legs too tired to stand
Know my love is true
And help me to move forward
Jul 23, 2017
Jul 23, 2017 at 4:33 PM UTC