I feel lips that aren’t there kissing me tenderly.
Hands that don’t exist touching me gently.
A body that hasn’t transformed, lying under me
…
I see a figure that is a shadow in my mind, staring back at me.
Thoughts filling my head daily of a love that isn’t real, a manifestation of a deep yearn within.
Coming to life in my dreams and only in my dreams does it remain.
I see a life that isn’t mine I’ve lived..
Apr 13
Apr 13, 2026 at 2:01 AM UTC
I used to want to talk.. even now the voices echo in my mind. Many words choked out of me. Every-time I opened my mouth, words spewed out like a cloud ascending into heaven. It was never enough..words were never enough.. silence was used as a tool to weaponize me. Strip me of simple pleasures of an utterance. I could never express in formidable aptitude; the words given to me so naturally. Life was a canvas that turned into a tornado. Every which way became sour to the tongue. Silence became my worst enemy. I could sit in solitude. I actually prefer it..but my need to express, teach, show is what I enjoyed the most to those I loved. But those I loved had demons they listened to most. Darkness was their saviour and light were a distraction they couldn't afford. Now I bask in quietness, preferring to perceive instead of speak. Teach when wisdom is called; because I have learned levels cannot always be breathed to life, sometimes others must live it.. Shalom
Dec 11, 2025
Dec 11, 2025 at 7:40 PM UTC
in this headspace i cling to sanity
i want to give into weakness
& return to the comfort that choked me at night,
throw my arms around despair
& dance with the devil,
gripping on his aged old wings
that fallen with him as he sinned,
we were not supposed to end like this..
mayhap if my eyes grind on your inner fears
i could passionately spare you the fate,
of our inevitable end?
my mind caresses our goodbye
& converts it into heartfelt kisses of forgiveness,
i know this is a meritless fantasy
picking apples from that forbidden tree,
i entertain the idea of intertwined hearts again
what am I supposed to do when i'm left clueless?
digging deeper holes in hope
got dang it i burn for our return,
but our love is scrambled puzzles
look at me, rambling again & again
when will this agony of love end?
Aug 31, 2025
Aug 31, 2025 at 11:16 PM UTC
It’s been so long since words melted from my finger tips,
I’d forgotten the passion of words as I became worn,
worn down by a passionless love,
profoundly I’m willing to grow again,
and remember my soul once (again),
how could I have forgotten what it meant to write?
foolish me thinking love could merit,
and turn me away from such a miserable fate,
I am finding happiness and reminding myself to breathe,
fresh air is starting to fill my lungs,
oh how winter approaches but spring still lives in me,
welding my life back together,
I’m finally remembering (me),
someone I plan on never forgetting evermore..
Aug 31, 2025
Aug 31, 2025 at 5:14 PM UTC
I feel my heart slipping.. into a deep well of grief. My voice feels trapped behind a wall of lies and distortions. Swimming to the truth, I slip in and out of consciousness. Feeling the inevitable demise of my life fall before my eyes. Am I to fold and give up for the fear of drowning or do I soldier on regardless of my fate; at least I fought? In this uncertain revelation of what my decision can cause, I ponder my next move declining to submerge myself in a mirage..
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020 at 9:17 PM UTC
I've acquired growth. So much so that my lips cannot form the words. I am speechless, stuck in a continuous path of change.
I've acquired such loss, yet my eyes see a ray of hope. Light beyond the tunnel, past the bridge.
I've acquired strength. My arms unable to carry the load which my shoulders have grown to handle.
I am no longer the same.
Willing to take risks.
Climb.
Build.
My, have I changed.
Aug 28, 2019
Aug 28, 2019 at 10:14 PM UTC
I beheld the arms of a fallen babe
it's lifeless breath
inches in this world
and the air has given way
to their undeveloped lungs..
a precious soul
never to know
the sun's skin
as it kisses and darkens,
tints and caresses
gone too soon
never to know of
their mother & father
I beheld a fallen babe
lifeless in my arms
leaving a mother to know
the sorrow
of missing their
..first born..
Shalom
Apr 6, 2019
Apr 6, 2019 at 11:41 PM UTC
I met someone that took my past away. He had given me a sense of home, peace & love. I valued his heart. His beautiful, works of art. In his arms I rested. I laid bare, without reservations. He took away my hidden love. Almost a decades long, of childish love. As he wiped my thoughts clean of him, I've became purely his world & he mine.
We sit amongst each other with broken promises & dreams. Hurt, blame & shame now lives in our brain. Unspoken communication now resides & in our place holds a void. If only we can break the noise long enough to hear our voice reach out to one another, in this widen field of pain. We'd be back in each other's arms, safely tucked away. Laughing & enjoying each other's company, again..
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 10:36 PM UTC
I closed my eyes
&
in return
I
cried
I
lost
my
smile
Even
though
I laughed
out
loud
I crumbled
with no pressure on
my shoulders
Just life called
me to a place
Unknown
Destiny speaks
with muted lips
I'm tangled
in cozy sheets
Fighting
My way,
back to the surface
I'm finally realizing
I'm
tired
of
being
asleep..
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 5:56 PM UTC
Bodies shared. Hearts gathered together in cheer. Minds overlapped & visions clear. A goal set, for next year. To be one, solid, welded. Chained & Unbroken. Mashing personalities together, like a baby in a mother's womb. A conversion of perspectives. Feeding one another, fruits of the spirit. Dying to let go of the cynical. The incriminating need to be self centered. To feel loved & be loved. Is the desire of both souls. Looking upwards to the sky above for direction; on how to build a river of memories, a timeline of melodies, in a life full of tragedies.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 1:37 AM UTC