Fantasies do not exist.
That is why they ache.
That is why they call.
I summon them
even knowing
they never obey
the exact shape
I demand of them.
There is something obscene
in wanting like this:
wanting someone
not as they are,
but as they burn
when I close my eyes.
It will never feel
the way I imagine it.
And still…
there it is:
breathing,
vibrating,
trembling to exist
inside my mind.
I dream you
the way one dreams a sin.
I long for you
with my body before my soul.
You confuse me,
and that is your power.
I don’t know what to do
with these images
my mind lifts
above God Himself,
as if I could create
what He refused to grant me.
You wrap me
in an ancient fever,
in something I swore was buried.
You pull me from pain
not to save me,
but to remind me
that I am still alive.
Something wakes in me
when I think of you:
it is not love,
it is not peace,
it is hunger.
And my intuition
offers no redemption.
It whispers
that this will grow,
that it will claim me slowly,
that it does not seek calm…
It seeks to consume me.
Jan 29
Jan 29, 2026 at 1:46 AM UTC
everything breaks when the heart is confused
life can seem so draining when its the future calling us evil
May 5, 2022
May 5, 2022 at 8:41 PM UTC
never to find the right breath to say what you got to say is the most suffocating feeling of all time
May 5, 2022
May 5, 2022 at 8:32 PM UTC
Is a life of torment,
nothing seems quite right
nothing is quite wrong
Everything is inbetween,
a purpose or
a song.
*Serapis
Pinochle
Playing Cards
Hard Chuckle*
*Serapis
Pinochle
Playing Cards
Hard Chuckle*
HuGadarn *
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 9:38 AM UTC
I want to fly.
Fly away like a little bird.
To Neverland.
And never look back.
Fly to a place,
Which only the clouds can see me
And only the clouds is what I see.
I will take myself there
Without hesitation.
Not even a spaceship will see me.
I will float.
But in reality I'm heavy,
So I will fall.
Fall so hard
I won't feel anymore.
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 7:04 PM UTC
I fell disgusted as I fell a hand on my buttons.
In my town, this is no strange.
But today was different because the hand in my private place wasn't a big one but a small innocent hand of a 10-year-old smiling at me while still touching me.
And trust me, that touch was not in a childish way.
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 7:02 PM UTC
I suppose if death is staring you in the face, the first one to blink
loses.
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
You are like the worst doctor
And I am the best patient
That is letting you do an open heart surgery
Without anesthesia.
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 11:37 PM UTC
Worst thing than being blinded by love
Is being blinded by friendship.
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 20, 2018 at 11:12 PM UTC