i’m a rotting apple core that you cant put down
i know you’re hungry
i worse than loved you
poisonous seeds will sour your guts
blame me for the temptation
am i a **** falling out of love, or somewhere in between?
i worse than loved you
i bled for you, i cried for myself
attended my own funeral and you didn’t buy me flowers
i like when someone else sleeps on your side of the bed
i feel less lonely that way
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 7:28 AM UTC
if i couldve travel throug time
would you believe it
im sorry that your entire life
revolves around why mine can not
kissed by strangers im the happiest ive ever been
maybe ill text nathan
or sam or arthur or anyone
i have so much love
its a chore to bring it back from age 16
when i was texas’ favorite wine drinker
im determined
to find all the love i left in that
ill cry the mascara off my face if it means
ill be yours for a night
Mar 15, 2019
Mar 15, 2019 at 4:29 AM UTC
i have nothing but sunny days
for you and i and our top teeth
im walking around this city with you
holding my own curious happiness in my fists and for once in my ******* life i dont have break it in half to share
if google could translate my heart beat to english, it would just be a transcript of alternating *** and *****
and i’d die if you knew that
however i will find my ways to give you my stiff and stubborn love
secretly make you an emergency contact, making you godmother to my cat
i’ll avenge the undeserved love from all your ****** exes in the afterlife when nothing matters
the truth is that even if i could do this without you, i would never want to
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 5:22 AM UTC
i said
i’m gonna put down the pen
replace the empty space with things that don’t leave marks
but god there’s so much permanence
in the smell of tobacco and gardenias
wicker patterned skin
coffee pots clanking against iron in a sunless noon
pill bottles rattling like music too distant to hear how sad it is
castles of baby shampoo bubbles and layers of egyptian cotton dismantled by a fan
syfy channel on but watching the curtains dance instead
small pink toes pressed into green carpet
kicking down the door again
it doesn’t just linger, it stains
like soft fingerprints on my mahogany heart
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 8:07 AM UTC
the pendulum swings
t-twice
belladonna berries by mouth
angel's orders
limbs stretched out
backwards embrace to
earth
pupils expand like
spilled anti-milk
last minutes
final comfort of
letting go
my heart beats now
for every cheek blushed
please
remember me
fearless
nightshade belly full
smashing the skull
to fine white dust
chest *****
knocking on breastbone
like gold on mohagony
once
twice
when the door opens
i will fall, in love
fall, in love
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 9:29 PM UTC
they say i seem different
i tell em it's got nothing to do with anything but the brand new secrets i've been keepin
all to myself
somethin rancid right under the skin
you'd never guess what the sweat coming outta my pores really contains
at last, i'm the true
madwoman
i'm the porcelain doll you have to turn around before you go to sleep
hungry eyes made of glass
a mouth ya gotta break to open up
a still heart in the shape of a girl
watching and
waiting
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 8:58 PM UTC
when i think of holiness, i imagine
my mother layin in bed at night
sayin a prayer like,
"jesus, why did this happen to me"
a prayer like,
"jesus, i know i wasn't a perfect mom but at least i was off the liquor"
a prayer like,
"jesus, if i love my daughters unconditionally, will you make this all go away?"
i've got a face a mother could only love
if that's what she thinks god wants her to do
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017 at 3:06 PM UTC
i made you
turn the doorknob for me
me
me with hands full of squishy pumpkin guts
wash them clean to get them messy
again
sculpting a friendship out of a fractured romance
you, with your broken shovel still planted in my backyard
sliding your hands over me, no friction
like a pool stick in between our chalky fingers
the thunder of knocking down bowling pins
sounds like atom bombs in an empty arcade room
how dare you
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 2:01 AM UTC
the story of the mechanic's hands that only knew how to break things
starts small and quiet
a feverish night in june
reaching out for the first time
in balled up fists
then palms opened to the world
in demand
then, pressing into linoleum
then, gripping the handlebars of a bicycle
then, wrapped around yellow number 2 pencils illuminated by fluorescent light bouncing off white brick walls
then, for many years, nothing but the cold metal of a rusty wrench
i said, i like your filth
teach me how to be grimey
you're only allowed to touch me with dirt underneath your fingernails
i said, i'm young but i know what it's like to be covered in black grease
these hands have touched many
held onto some
left none clean and pure, or easy on the eyes
in their calloused glory, lifting the pleated skirts
two parts of a whole that's only purpose was to destroy
i wonder in the time i have spent
hands under sink
body in bubble baths
fingers down my throat
purging a gasoline stained, black grease, mangled-with-wrenches childhood
were the mechanic's hands pressed together in prayer
did they ever get scrubbed clean?
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 17, 2017 at 6:40 PM UTC
i wish i had figured out earlier
that it was not my secret to keep
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 17, 2017 at 1:01 AM UTC