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PhoenixBekkedal
PhoenixBekkedal
17/F/California chicken@!
I can't say I missed you, but I'm glad you're back half of the time. In those moments when your lips tense in focus on a new ****** mystery novel, you're convinced you know the killer and I'm convinced you'll **** me in the night, so we lie awake, side by side. A shared cold so we're sniffling I was sick but we couldn't help kissing I'm beyond infatuated, have always been emotional, but with you I really lose my mind.
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Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 3:13 PM UTC
A shared cold so we're sniffling
baking in the mojave no rivers here like in the tangles back east crows—and perhaps other animals can on occasion be heard in a tussle squeamish feelings settle in the crater of a stomach half-empty Last night I woke up aware of the snakes that bite and scorpions that pinch but not how truly they exist I’ve never felt the sun sear my skin so I hope to fry and lock in all my juices like my brother’s rich cooking oh how I dream of a brother by my side and the more dreary and sweaty I become the more I begin to see one a dark, hulking man, as sullen as I sulking as I do; beneath a new sun
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Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 1:40 PM UTC
baking in the mojave
Sometimes my chest lies dormant And the wind whistles for me Sometimes when I wake up I can't move my toes I'm paralyzed but still breathing The breeze living in my corpse I know I'm attracted to colors Those bright vivid oranges I've got the clouds stolen I stole them; they're between my teeth My goosebumps kick me down pennies I scrape them off the sidewalk Begging for a change To change what I mean Into what you see When you see me And my shadow lagging behind Dragging its prickly feet Praying for the love To pick me up off the cliff's edge And drop me And when I'm falling I'll finally say I like your glasses And your freckles remind me of the stars And your eyes are just like the moon And maybe I could fly if I could just Forget that we're gonna die Tomorrow
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Nov 14, 2017
Nov 14, 2017 at 4:58 PM UTC
Tomorrow
what is it you think about that makes you as special as the full moon, and just as ethereal? even after all this time, i linger on the ends of words you wrote, on stanzas you seamlessly weaved into poetry; i remember the rich green ends of your hair like chlorophyll saturating new leaves; i see you in every shade of yellow and in the soft soil of this Earth you love so much. you said that i changed your life but i cannot begin to explain how your smile rivals the dazzling, celestial beauty of sunrise, your laugh blooms as a sweet rose in spring, and the thoughts you think are absolutely captivating. you're somebody special even after all this time... we have graduated from who we were then and stride in opposite directions. perhaps i don't love you quite the same as time is a funny phenomenon but i am always wishing the best for you, and that transcends time. i wonder if sometimes, you turn back and look for me in your memories?
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Oct 5, 2017
Oct 5, 2017 at 2:24 PM UTC
to the first girl I ever loved
The elk are uneasy It's time to cross the lake You can see it in their faces The way their noses Are just so still The lake is a river Running Polar bears are caught Coughing, paddling for the shore To no avail The elk stand tall Take one step Then none
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Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 3:09 PM UTC
The elk
We're not dead yet. I try and look at it that way. Try not to imagine my momma's mourning face Torn when she would do anything Just to switch our places Be in the coffin instead of me She keeps coughing from the cigarettes Replaying regrets regrets Praying if there's ever been a restart in history For it to belong right now to me This is my mortality poem Let they sing it above my grave While my mom tries to teach the dirt How to coo my name So I can sleep just right How she wishes she could scratch my head The way she would do when I was a baby To get me to sleep All night Just right
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Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 2:51 PM UTC
Mortality poem
Found the quarters for the laundry Counted them by loads We have enough for eight You picked me up and counted me by mistakes I weighed a ton but we carried it together after we exchanged numbers I did the laundry And week after week Again and again until we had enough quarters for one last load And I washed the bed sheets Figured we could take all our ***** clothes off and lie in the clean there Because it's nice to have a clean house We have a clean house When I can't sleep I scrub the tiles Until they're bright like the rising sun reminding me I should have been sleeping It's okay though You're asleep and can't tell you're alone I ask myself while making coffee If you know I've got bags underneath my eyes And the floor is cleaner and cleaner every passing night And the smell of bleach resonates off the square white tiles You continue to wake and just smile Smile Just smile Look at me And smile Like the world is smooth And runs on smiles My insides mock fire "Are you tired?" "No I'm just wired, drank too much coffee I'm not tired." You know And I know you know I guess you're happy with the clean floors and extra space in the bed so you don't have to worry about rolling over at night or kicking me
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Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 2:46 PM UTC
25 cents; I had the sense and left
_I climbed an old oak I fell, and Bones broke and I croaked_
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Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 2:13 AM UTC
The American Haiku
The start (of) / a braid or a rope / is nothing (at the beginning of this) / it is only the idea stemming / from a sapling or a seed to become / a tree / reality / what we touch, see, and wish to be / Ancient beings can feel how they are not free / I notice this is my mother’s face / as I lead her to the restroom / so near, too far for her / the years count with her / the (counted) years count the steps to the toilet / and consider just holding it / because the pain of walking so clearly outweighs / the pain of holding your *** after birthing 3 children / one of them dead / okay, birthing two children / I was cut from my mother / Regardless, / maybe if you cut out the lungs / things would cease to be / chaotic like the outreach / reaching out a hand / praying she’ll find me / because I’ve gone too far and can’t rewind ////// maybe if you remove my lungs…. / I could stop focusing on my breathing / give you all of my love / show you I am not worthy / of that admiration leaking from your ears ////// don’t be jealous of me
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Jul 10, 2017
Jul 10, 2017 at 2:34 AM UTC
it's echoing beneath the pier and I can't stop it!
I thank God For the toilet paper in public restrooms For when there is Toilet paper in a public restroom Thank God for that toilet paper Seriously
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Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 10:39 PM UTC
TP