It’s hard serving this nation
Living up to the exceptions
Of the older generations
Trying to escape this pressure
Never able to beat the gravitation
Pulling me back in to the war
Expectations as as high as the moon
Proving I could never be anything soon
Working from dead end to deadly jobs
Making it work to see the daily dawn
Just to be seen by them and you
Yet the shadow that is casted
I could never surpass it
Throwing my life on the line
Wouldn’t change the outcome one time
Every “choice” or sacrifice
The kind you can’t make twice
Gets cast aside every time
Nothing I say or do can change the mind
Or bring light to my side
So I sit in this darkness every night
Knowing I will never win this fight
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 1:05 AM UTC
Lies
I try to understand
Be the man I should be
For you and me
It’s hard to understand
When I can’t tell the truth from the lies
I tried
Every story you told
They all had holes
The kind you can see threw
But with my rose tinted glasses
I was blind to it all
You had me wrapped around your finger
Just leading me on
Getting all the benefits
Familiar with the noise
Never the person
Keeping me going
Hanging on by a thread
Slowly giving me enough
Hanging my heart out to die
One misunderstanding at a time
Time and Time again
Lie after lie
Every time a piece of me breaks
Distorting reality
Making me believe this fake reality
Filled with lies
Sprown in to a spider-web
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 9:52 AM UTC
I love you
In a way that would worry a therapist
The kind of love that would thrill a poet
Love that would crumble kingdoms
I love you
In a way that would worry a therapist
When I speak of you
All others hear is me boasting
A speech worth toasting
Some say its smothering
Toxic love bombing
Manipulation rooting
Blooming in too vulnerability
Boarding on codependency
I love you
The kind of love that would thrill a poet
Words can never describe
Rhymes are the closest
Doing my best to do it all justice
How I want it to be just us
Able to dance in the kitchen
See a sun set with
Knowing you'll be by my side
When the sun rises
Worlds apart
With you it’s a fresh start
I love you
Love that would crumble kingdoms
I would burn empires
Just to see your eyes light up
Ignite a spark inside
Bringing you to the dark side
Like an executioner with his blade
I get the final say
This is no play
Bodies lay scattered
Peoples minds shattered
Heads roll
While me and you walk away
Never to stray
Ready to see the next crown fall
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 9:25 PM UTC
I trusted
The words that left your mouth
Now ringing hollow
The truth is hard to swallow
You being on the fence
Making me feel dense
Slow to see
How you really felt
Saying “I Love You” then
Turning around and kissing him
The cracks before
Manageable then now splitting me in two
Wanting to walk away
Forced to stay
Cause I hate to say
I love you too
But mistake after mistake
Makes me shake
Scared you’ll do it again
Turn around and play withing some one new
Something shiny cause it’s in front of you
When I’m no where near
So I cry this silent tear
Watching your silent affair
Emotions still up in the air
Even ones we can't bring ourselves to share
So Yes I care
But your back at
Square one
One more **** up and we are done
Mar 6
Mar 6, 2026 at 1:11 AM UTC
I wanna ruin you for other loves
Make you want to forget each other
Bicker like no other
Ruin your senses of touch
I want him to make you jump
Flinch when he moves an inch
I want to be the reason you hate each other
Failure to connect to one another
Be the reason you see him like a brother
Slowly becoming a stranger
An inconveniences
Not worth any effort
You've been here once
His feelings are in vain
Make him suffer the pain
I want to be the reason you can't let go
I’ll be the reason you no show
Be the reason he gives you vertigo
Chills through every bone
The kind that makes you wanna stay home
Feb 26
Feb 26, 2026 at 12:55 AM UTC
My type is no stereo type
Inconsistently like I'm a mad scientist
Looking like a hopeless romantic
To be honest its tragic
My family refuse learning every name
Isn’t worth the effort
Being called the family *****
Outcasted on a desolate shore
I can’t keep a girl
No matter who hard I try
“It’s me not you”
“You were too perfect”
“I cheated on you”
I could make a book
With all the quotes
Nothing like spark notes
Long distance or face to face
I can't find the right space
I want something longer
A someone to settle down with
To beat the title
Something that feels vital
Where leaving isn’t an option worth taking
Instead I'm shaking
Failing, not due to lack of effort
Instead I just look like a trouble maker
Not even a uniform could save me
Swapping careers to find new peers
All i found was open water
Nothing but deep seas
Diving down to the sea floor
Like your a sunken ship
So here I sit
Struggles I wish I could beat
Instead I can’t make it
Not, home like I'm permanently alone
PCS’ed to foreign shores
Hoping its better then State side
But to these pages there's only one side
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 11:41 PM UTC
I thought all my life
I was surrounded
Mirrors coating every surface
Walking slow
Trying to not let it crack
Then I meet you
You were see threw like glass
Transparent even with small cracks
For once I can be honest and not get stared at
Seeing you made it all go black
When I’m with you
I can breath at last
You see my cracks and still smile back
I know It’s not fer ever
Or if I’m in the past
I have no regrets cause it was a blast
But Thank You
For showing me there's still hope
Even if we all have cracks
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 8:56 PM UTC
I wanna feel safe
A place not relying on someone else
Built by my hands
With enough space for us both
But where you are not needed to feel safe
Where I can sit on my own
Not needing to put on a show
Able to sit in silence
Allowing myself to think
Or sit and not
Not relying on your presence
Stable enough to stand on my own
The pressure of needing you
Vanquished but lingers
I know it's better with you
But not reliant on you, or who ever comes next
As simple as a log cabin
But as secure as a vault
I choice who comes and goes
Not out of need but want
Wanting your company and needing
Is something I struggle to balance
Cause all i want in the end of the day
Is to feel safe
My hands around your waist
Feeling your heart race
Just from my seeing my face
But its a choice
No longer a need but a want
Keeping my self change
Slowly I’m feeling safe alone
No longer needing
That weight is fleeing
Now I think I'm better alone
Feb 6
Feb 6, 2026 at 8:33 PM UTC
Young and dumb
Thrill seeking bends in to house keeping
balancing love, work and friends
Gate keeping your heart
the one you wear on your sleeve
Kept behind lock and key
Cause your older now
Carelessness comes at little to no cost at 1st
Hours, Days maybe weeks of hurt and aches
Now a days, It just breaks
As rough as an earthquake
Making my hand shake
my foundation showing cracks
Leaving me on the brink
my words ring hollow
Swallowed by the emptiness
Something that used to be a fortress
my heart beat slows not risking an attack
to old to fully heal to young to dwell
Wishing I could shrink
Things be fixed in just a blink
In reality it sinks
Deeper and Deeper
Walls about to give in
The Ceiling on the brink of collapse
Let's be honest I have been wearing a mask
One I can no longer throw away
Jan 24
Jan 24, 2026 at 8:31 PM UTC
The pain in my body
Begging for an escape
Dark melodies ringing in my head
As time passes I can't find the breaks
My heart aches
My hands shake
No longer in control
The feeling dwelling deep down
It’s dulling my senses
Making my body buckle under the pressure
Tears flowing like the ink out of my pen
Leaving trials as if i write with cursive
But in a luggage only i can understand
My words always misunderstood
The meaning buried under a fancy facade
My life plans, up in flames
The darkness seeping deeper
And Deeper
Harder and harder to find the light
Or any shade of gray
I pay with my heart on my sleeve
I’ve dropped it too many times
On the brink of no return
My mind making excuses
But i’m the common denominator
Yes im my biggest hater
Faced with now a deep creator
Wishing I was just a narrator
Holding on to you with what little I have left
Lets be real
I’m never worth the effort
To Just Talk
Or Walk it off
Not even a quick text
Nothing to flex
Now I know my place
Enveloped by the darkness
Hopes to me
Are just dreams
A stepping stone for everyone else
Sincerely, Phantom
1/19/20
Jan 19
Jan 19, 2026 at 12:46 AM UTC