I stopped going with the waves.
I turned and let them crash against me.
I had my anchor, pulling up the ground.
All that's left is this forsaking.
We made this scenery.
The way you folded arms around me.
No contenders, by your spell I'm bound.
It was a dream we dreamed in waking.
I relive this forever.
A miserly toll.
To these waves, I would surrender
Everything I've known.
But there's a catch in me.
A ****** hook of reverence.
This isn't love, I know.
I can't help this reveling.
This decadence in limerence.
It pulls me down, fearful and spellbound.
If I'm ever found, will there be anything
Worth taking?
What I'd trade to
masquerade
this misery.
It is all I have
as offering
to free me
back into the waves.
Oct 11, 2023
Oct 11, 2023 at 10:44 AM UTC
Overheat in sun, I am in idle, unable to
Run away from fears, lies and denials, they catch on
Everything I do, all tests and trials, and they drag me
Toward
The sun.
-
--
---
Nowhere to hide.
I greet the serpent, coiled inside.
Striking my mind.
And my heart faithfully carries the bite.
Time and time again,
I am freed through this affliction.
Wind and unwind.
A towering knot, deeply entwined.
Wrapping my mind.
Finally, my heart is now blind.
Time and time again,
It beats through this decision.
---
--
-
The fever of life, unbound and wild, telling me to
Copy the path, be a child, and in time these
Serpents that bled me, will feel the heat, and hungrily
Come to
Consume
This pain.
Jun 3, 2023
Jun 3, 2023 at 11:19 PM UTC
Deny it if you wish.
We all live for this.
It makes no difference;
Meaningful, meaningless.
To dissolve your walls,
To play with this trigger.
To let it go off,
Then return it to sender.
Call it a holy act.
Call it something sick.
It is still a fact:
You want it.
May 17, 2023
May 17, 2023 at 6:50 AM UTC
Hands in my head
Fingers in my eyes
Worlds of said
Fury of minds
Guns in my heart
Bullets in my veins
Rupturing the soul
Blowing up the brain
Laws in my body
Bribes in my health
Chemicals, the jury
Reactionary wealth
Angels in my heaven
******* in my hell
Reservation limbo
_
May 16, 2023
May 16, 2023 at 5:06 PM UTC
You let go.
What it could've been, well, we'll never know.
Line up your memories in a row.
That way, when they fail, you won't
be confused
anymore.
There won't be a single thing left to throw you off your trajectory.
There won't be a single lingering unknown.
Leave it all in a neat little line.
Shouldn't take long, you've barely lived your life.
Disregard the voices in your mind.
Your heart has died, they'll tell only lies.
Let. It. Go.
Quit fighting for whatever, God only knows.
Give it up and welcome in the cold.
It's all you have left to hold.
May 16, 2023
May 16, 2023 at 5:36 AM UTC
The spaces you carved out in me
left behind some figure
for the way I ought to be.
The traces of you, that fill me,
all I can remember,
leave me empty.
Nov 7, 2022
Nov 7, 2022 at 3:58 AM UTC
I can't skip rocks over lakes or rivers.
I can't go down without the surface
coming down with me.
I can't keep talking and thinking I'm sane.
I can't see how others make the ripples
and claim to see clearly.
Jun 16, 2022
Jun 16, 2022 at 4:02 PM UTC
Whatever is left of me,
if you can remember anything
I've ever said,
down any path I've ever
led you, or
wherever you've led me,
if you can see me,
I'm free now,
for this world that is
always taking.
There's no need to lie to me,
there's no need to comfort this
dying fool who
wasted his time, pining in his
prime for a
chance
he knew
would never come.
After all, this
misery was by
design, to save the one
I love.
It's over now, I'm giving up.
I don't want your
sympathy, your
thoughts or your
prayers.
I wish I could illustrate
what I've won from this dare.
How do you
describe something
that isn't
there?
I lean on the hope that
what's left of me,
you'll share.
I took
so
much
effort
bleeding out this
place,
I've
emptied every coffer,
every altar
defaced.
I
scraped
away
the pretty paint
looking for the
matter,
and there it was,
this emptiness, getting fatter.
Now I sink in,
once again,
to this bog
I've been
stuck in,
struggled in,
woke up in,
fell asleep in,
dreamed in,
broke free in,
feared in,
**** and ****** in,
got cleaned in,
once again,
it takes me under.
May 22, 2022
May 22, 2022 at 7:30 PM UTC
Every light I see at night,
Ripping through the darkly hue,
Worded right, I hope they might
Make come true a wish for you.
Wild star, falling far
Without shame, unafraid
Heaven mar, henna scar
Though untamed, you know her name.
May 9, 2022
May 9, 2022 at 11:46 PM UTC
I've gone mad in the empty
I've breathed in too much hope
I've collected one big memory
Bit it, chewed, and choked
When something dies within me
A slice of life maudlin
I'll spit out my misery
Bite, chew, choke again
I'll keep this up forever
It will be my effigy
The loss that keeps me together
Until it, too, is empty
May 9, 2022
May 9, 2022 at 11:12 PM UTC