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Patawpha
50/M According to my parents I was born. Everything is fuzzy after that.
My twin is no green-eyed monster, rather he cuts through a crowd like Mr.Grant and leaves me lurching in the aftermath, tie askew; ginandtonic now mostlywater; cocktail napkin ripping slowly from the condensation, and me with eyes going blinkblinkblink. He has colossal strength, carrying grudges like Atlas, boxing up Hope like Pandora. He can fight off sleep for days and carries me along to exotic locales: Waffle House at 3:30 in the morning. Is she there? Was that her voice in the background? I know that voice better than my own. "tell her her boyfriend called" I can choke into the phone but it's my other half laughing with the boys in the background Consequences are meaningless. He's got me here to clean up the mess. He has given me some tape and glue. High quality stuff that does not do its job.
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Jul 14, 2019
Jul 14, 2019 at 4:49 PM UTC
Jealousy
Right now everything is a VERY BIG DEAL and I am stretched thin like a wire sizzling with potential energy going nowhere meanwhile I wish to fall to the street below and become SOMETHING for a brief few moments until I am switched off and replaced with a better model and I can lie forgotten perhaps absconded for some AMBITIOUS PROJECT that never gets done and I can finally rest in the dark beneath six feet of other forgotten dreams while the world buzzes and whirs around me, hard at the task of forgetting while trying to be remembered.
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Jul 14, 2019
Jul 14, 2019 at 4:12 PM UTC
Right Now Everything
We will go over that hill right there, the one yearning for the sky like the earth took a breath and held it for a million years. Then down in the valley, just to the left, we will find a little path, a dry artery through the lonely trees, and soon we will burst forth into a little meadow, a perfect circle. If we squint a little we can see the ghosts of pagans cavorting around an angry fire and perhaps we will wish to be wild, free, and dangerous too. We can sit, if you'd like, or we can measure the meadow's circumference with careful steps, we can find the very center and stand terribly close, or we can each choose a side and negotiate a truce. Perhaps I will take your hand. Perhaps we will share a kiss. But we will always feel that aching distance between us that even perfect meadows cannot fill.
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Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 2:25 AM UTC
The Circumference of a Ghost
As I remember it I sat alone as a stone somewhere out near Pleiades and on nights when I felt quite human I could squint my eyes into the distance and remember something akin to earth. Klaxons blared and lurched me alive again and my ship rumbled underneath me, already leaning into the Event like a dog on a leash just too short of his bone and as I remember things, and I often remember them differently, the leathery hands of some goddess I loved encircled my ship and cradled my heart, then whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry. it's time to die." Then one finger twitched the leash was cut and we were off to the races, son. When we passed the Horizon, I always thought it would be blue, the singularity of the pain pressed white hot kisses down my spine and I looked for the drip but we were way before that now so I closed my eyes and let it all go and gave up everything to those swinging hips and dead, brown eyes Out the other side I found myself s t r e t c h e d thinner than a rose my feet were in Omega when she kissed me on the nose That is why we're here, sun, where it all looks the same. Are we the ones who differ No one doubts that we're to blame The war is over and there is a tail on the son The war is over but I am waiting in pieces on the floor
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Jul 12, 2019
Jul 12, 2019 at 12:35 AM UTC
Upon Considering My Time During The war
Mistah Gates. He dead" Time is an ouroboros and the Earth a flat circle Measure out your life in insta pics Let us go then, you and I, through empty diamonds and deserted play grounds. Let us visit, if you will, the battlefields , streets full of bodies that decay in minutes. In waiting rooms people come and go and speak of tanks and Bushido   Eyes I dare not meet Can see me with their headpiece made of straw This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Forgotten, as we stare at our new ones.
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Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 11:31 PM UTC
Prufrock On the Edge of the World
Tir na Nog, land of my youth withers now like bone from truth. Hearth and home are cold as stone, forsaken rivers dry as bone. No longer will the lofty spires be full of laughter, song, and fires as emerald streets now choke with dust, the blacksmith's hammer breaks from rust and in a pub not far from town a lonely warden's sorrows drown. She sinks her shoulders to the fog and kills the crush of thought with grog.
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Jan 7, 2019
Jan 7, 2019 at 12:05 AM UTC
Tir na Nog
when we were last was all was well adjunct a wall of stone we lay on verdant grass my throat did sing of wheeling stars and evergreen. when next my breath and fingers flew to sword unsheathed at shadows long like Venus stung you sank below, like Sisyphus i climbed anew.
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Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 9:39 PM UTC
Untitled
You were late. So late that I had given up on you but when I first saw you extinguishing a smoke in the struggling grass I knew it was you and I called your name and this was my first glimpse of you, fumbling to hide your vices, hair springing around your face like a thousand little Slinkies yearning to get free. You were late. So late that I had given up on you on the 7th floor of a hospital, my first hospital, we sat outside and fumbled with our vices and you told me it was over, two kids ****** into the murky pond of ADULT ISSUES, neither one of us did our job very well and all my fellow patients kept telling me how pretty you were that night. You were late. At 21 you were too late to save me but I never gave up on you. Forgiveness is an unfaithful mistress and I look back and sigh, remembering the ease with which I hated you. You are late. I am still waiting. I am waiting.
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Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 8:43 AM UTC
7th Floor Blues
This is a hieroglyph in the middle of the ocean, a message to the center of space, it is Stravinsky in a metal box; a prayer in the grave. It is not to be heard, read, or felt, but is sent out into the darkness like the wheezing breath from my last cigarette , the chill of the last river I altered with my step, the forever in the space between our eyes, and the time machine of you and I. There is a snap of electricity that moves you from here to there and there is our world in the hollow spaces of your brain. You are the blood, you are the marrow, you are in my depths and in my narrows. There was a little boy who saw a tail on the sun, wandered into the wrong back door and stumbled out the front with a pocket full of kisses, and there was a girl who was far from home, tiny hands and full of wishes. Close your eyes. Do not read this next part. It's a secret I cannot share. There is a picture that I look at often and it is of a ridge of mountains, snow on top, jagged edges like a page ripped from a magazine and I know now what I didn't know then that after I snapped that shot everything would change, that I would go home and become something I never could be again, that I would discard gods like tissue and drive my car as fast as it would go in the rain, that I would share this picture on a tilting Saturday night with a sigh and the subtle rustling of metal and cloth, a susurration settling over us like a shroud, and that I would surrender myself to the chaos, lose everything within our delicious destruction and spend the rest of my life wondering where all the pieces of me landed. This is a riddle you are not meant to understand. This is a Celtic Cross spread by a dead man's hand.
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Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 10:08 PM UTC
The Time Machine of You and I
This is a hieroglyph in the middle of the ocean, a message to the center of space, it is Stravinsky in a metal box; a prayer in the grave. It is not to be heard, read, or felt, but is sent out into the darkness like the wheezing breath from my last cigarette , the chill of the last river I altered with my step, the forever in the space between our eyes, and the time machine of you and I. There is a snap of electricity that moves you from here to there and there is our world in the hollow spaces of your brain. You are the blood, you are the marrow, you are in my depths and in my narrows. There was a little boy who saw a tail on the sun, wandered into the wrong back door and stumbled out the front with a pocket full of kisses, and there was a girl who was far from home, tiny hands and full of wishes. Close your eyes. Do not read this next part. It's a secret I cannot share. There is a picture that I look at often and it is of a ridge of mountains, snow on top, jagged edges like a page ripped from a magazine and I know now what I didn't know then that after I snapped that shot everything would change, that I would go home and become something I never could be again, that I would discard gods like tissue and drive my car as fast as it would go in the rain, that I would share this picture on a tilting Saturday night with a sigh and the subtle rustling of metal and cloth, a susurration settling over us like a shroud, and that I would surrender myself to the chaos, lose everything within our delicious destruction and spend the rest of my life wondering where all the pieces of me landed. This is a riddle you are not meant to understand. This is a Celtic Cross spread by a dead man's hand.
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I am hanging underneath an iron bar, little shoulders aching, sweaty fingers scraping off ochre with each sad little swing. You are leaving and I am wearing a grubby white shirt. The one with the little train on it. Your leaving is not like in the movies, which is all I know of leaving, and you are not looking back at me through the dusty rear window as your family pulls away. There is no little hand waiving me goodbye. Simply, one minute you are there and the next you are gone and I am all alone. Your house stood vacant for a season or two and I would sneak into your back yard, our back yard, and stare into the empty rooms. The plate glass was cool against my forehead but something inside of me smouldered. The new owners did not have a collie or a pesky little sister and they certainly did not have you. I am waiting there. I am still waiting.
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Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 4:56 PM UTC
The Part That Passes Understanding