I swear I never seen an enemy
Because many friends claim their true
With their hands covered in my blood
I swear yu think I did it too
The smile of friend
Who swore they always there
And a mother saying baby
Be careful who you trust
A wolf is always there
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 26, 2019 at 10:55 AM UTC
It might be cliche to say this but
Christianity saved me
I almost died and had a man watch me
Girl met boy and fell in love
Love is blind
Yes we get it
But this man loved me so much with a knife
Cut my wrists open and let me bleed
Slowly did the blood come out and drip
It was my sacrifice
I loved him so ride or die right?
I will die for him
Then made the cut deeper every once in awhile
Let me bleed even faster
Put me in the shower and start to run the water
My smile turned weak
My face became pale
But I loved this man
So i painted a perfect mask
Plaster it on my face
And it was so perfect he believed
He believed he was saving me
Saving the world from me
Loving me better than any
Was he sick or was I?
Letting me bleed right there to death
Then my mask starts crack
My voice leaks out
I am close to death
If I will die, I shall die alone
Be it my own destruction
Not one of a man
Kick him out close the door
Go to the comfort of the blood soaked shower and sit
Grab the vines from roses and a stitching needle
Sow my self up filled more with pain
Put on a sweater and act like they are not there
Remake my mask so perfect I believed it
Go out Smile
See people smile
Love life smile
Yes my mask is smiling
But his shadow never left me
Painfully rip off my mask
Proves he owns me
Drag me into the shower
Memories there still haunt me
Grab a scissors and starts cutting
Bleed more once again
I can't breath or speak
The shadow is choking me!
Tears roll down and im thinking this is the death of me
Then my lord came in
Defeated his shadow and took possession of me
So I may be cliche to say this
But Christianity saved me
He took me and stitched me perfectly with the right thread and helped me
I am not afraid of my scars
So when I say Christianity saved me
I don't mean he made me live my life right
He didn't take me from drugs and alcohol
When I say Christianity saved me
I mean he took me from living a dead life to I'm alive
When I say Christianity saved me
I mean he saved me from wanting to beat that shadow and run into that shower for real
Not figuratively but real
Made my life worth living
My death mean nothing
So it may be cliche to say this but my Lord God saved me
Dec 3, 2017
Dec 3, 2017 at 4:53 PM UTC
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
for those heart broken nights I kept a secret
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For when we had to stretch a dollar and I acted like I was full, but I really wasn't
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you mama
That during those times that you locked yourself in your room and the cried acting like I didn't know, I already did
I'm wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
For not being the girl that you wish I was to be
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because my heart has been broken so many times and I won't dare tell you
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because the biggest secret I have kept is one that is hardest to speak
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
for those nights that I locked myself in the room and cried silently so you wouldn't know
I wanted to say I'm sorry to your Mama
Because you do not know the reason why those tears rolled down my face
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you will not know that shadow of my past haunts me at night
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
That my ankles are chained to a wall of self-doubt and regret
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because you don't know a man's words is what made me like that
I wanted to say I'm sorry to you Mama
Because I have no idea how to say all of that
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 2:14 PM UTC
I went to that party looking as best as I can
Waited for your eyes to look in my direction
But they went over like I was air
That I went to the bathroom and just stared
I saw the scars I tried my hardest to hide
The tiger marks I have going down my sides
The ones on my arms telling me I stretched too much
Because the last guy before you said I had to or I wasn't enough
I gained so much to please him with my figure
That it just went back at me
When I look in the mirror
The sight of beauty that I wish I still had
He robbed it from me when he said he didn't like that
The look in your eyes made me feel just the same
Because I wasn't even worthy to hear you say my name
But then I looked down and just saw a glance
That worthy of beauty wasn't worth giving you a chance
I was better than you thought
And could please you even more
I worth more than a million
More than you can earn
I saw my marks
And it proved I just tried so I won't date let another one make me swallow my pride
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 2:35 PM UTC
WHY should I tell you I love you
when the moment I close my eyes thinking that I am safe you crept up and left me
WHY should I tell you I love you
when the only thing that is certain in my life you want me to turn around and backtrack into uncertainty
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you don't even realize all the pain that you've put me through
WHY should I tell you I love you
when the past of my life is a shadow of a man beating me down with words
WHY should I tell you I love you
when the stretch marks on my skin are proof that I have done everything that I've can just to hear you say I am pretty and then not believe it
WHY should I tell you I love you
with all these tears creeping down on my face and you act like they're not there
WHY should I tell you I love you
when I have given you my bones and every fiber of my being and you responded with thats it?
WHY should I tell you I love you
when I wrote out my heart on this wholesome message that you acted like i didn't even write it
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you cant even say it back
WHY should I tell you I love you
when the moment that you said you do, you put distance on us like I am all the way across the world
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you question every thought in my mind
WHY should I tell you I love you
when I'm doubting everything you gave me
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you say the things I do are not fair
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you left me for someone else and never looked back
WHY should I tell you I love you
that the moment you did, you thought that was enough
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you don't even know how to apologize to me
WHY should I tell you I love you
when you take back every word you've said
WHY should I tell you I love you
When that is not all you did
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017 at 11:39 AM UTC
You knew my thoughts before I said a word
And instead you acted like that wasn't part of your world
Then felt bad the moment it came in the air
When it was always there
You knew the things you did made my heart beat fast
And probably even knew the nightly thoughts I had
I bet you knew I was already hurt
Because you thought it wasn't around
That my heart broke every time I heard your sound
I hope you don't change
Since it never even began
And I hope you don't dare look at me
Since I never had my chance
I wish those thoughts I had never even existed
And the desire to trust you became lifted
In my mind and thoughts, I hope your not found
Because you acted like my heart was not around
So I'm glad you did all that acting though
Because now I know when someone will only do a show
Thank you for being my lesson
That broke my heart in two
And I hope you learned your lesson
To never act like it too
Jun 24, 2017
Jun 24, 2017 at 12:33 AM UTC
I am falling more than I wish
But I can't stop and grab simple bliss
Just by the sight of yur smile
And the deepness in your eyes
I fall a little bit more
Every single time
It's like yur pushing me
Further than I want to go
But the funny thing about it is
You don't even know
It's just the sound of your voice
And yur unique laugh
That catches me more than I had planned
It's your aura, or the way about you
That makes me think only about you
It's the way you say my name
And how you show me respect
That gets me not having regrets
It's your love for God
And the strength in your relationship
That makes me want more than a friendship
But that's what we are
And what we will be
Since I can't seem to tell you
Everything about me
So dear to my one sided love
Thank you for never reading this
I will forever miss your kiss
Sincerely, onsidedness
Jun 21, 2017
Jun 21, 2017 at 11:27 PM UTC
I love our conversations
The one our eyes have
When the lips are practicing patience
And our eyes are holding stares
When you were at my doorstep
and me at my door
holding the handle in one hand
Hoping you will ask for more
More stares of conversation our hearts seem to have
Or maybe it's me dreaming
And it was only just a glance
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 5:32 PM UTC
I have yet to be loved
By someone who has a heart
Because all I know
Is the ones full of scars
And I get treated "nicely"
With tears down my face
Because I don't know what to do
To get out of their pace
So when I finally meet that someone
Who can actually love me
I will run the other way
Because I know they will hurt me
Not the way others have
But in a way so sad
Because I have no idea how to handle
A love like that
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 12, 2017 at 12:05 PM UTC