I believe I have forgotten how to cry
The pressure builds in my chest
But nothing comes out
I can feel the frustrations going
As quickly as they came
The indifference sinks in
And I wish I could go back to the time
Where I was okay
But the more and more I think about it
I don't know if that time ever existed
I have always felt left out of everything
I have never been in the loop
I have never felt like I belonged within all the groups
I wish I could drop it all
And leave without a trace
I don't want these toxic feelings
I don’t want the toxic waste
I wish I was back in humboldt
Where I could go days without trouble
Everything was so much easier
But everything was not much better
Why cant I be happy?
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 2:30 AM UTC
What is a threat to validity
But a validity to threat
The constant need of reassurance that everything is forever
When everything is nothing
And nothing is everything
And anything that is everything will come to an abrupt
End.
We fear the inevitable
When the inevitable
is more constant than the evitable
So why
run?
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 8:20 PM UTC
I thought I was addicted to social media
But it was you that I only followed
So I deleted my Twitter
I deleted my Instagram
But I couldn't delete you
Now, I wait for the 24 hour span
To see a snap of your life
And for those 5 seconds
A ping strikes through my heart
Every day I try to convince myself
I have no capacity to love
But in reality I have no capacity
Because you took up all the space
How do I delete you?
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 9:23 PM UTC
I don’t love you anymore
yet you plague my thoughts
like a bubonic wave
and my mind is rotting
in an attempt to **** you off
I don’t love you anymore
Yet your name grips onto my tongue
like a loaded gun
ready to shoot at any chance it gets
I don’t love you anymore
but I secretly hope
that you still might love me
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 9:00 PM UTC
I feel as though I am constantly chasing after love
but the only thing I’m chasing is the bitter taste it leaves behind.
I can’t stop.
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 11:09 PM UTC
The ocean bodies resting on the shores of my eyes
every blink seeming to happen farther and farther apart
I am the abyss at the bottom of the sea
I engulf the darkness
keeping all the monsters
the ugly
the things no one knows exist
i feel so
heavy
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 6:30 AM UTC
I dated a poet once
who thought my eyes
were brighter than the sun.
I was his muse,
his life revolved around me.
He gave me a poem once.
He was nervous
the note was moist
in perspiration.
The brightness in my eyes
made him see I was the one.
But oh,
little did he know
the fire burning
in my eyes
was not for him
but for something more.
I was his sun
and he dared not to
stray from his orbit.
I thanked him
and walked away
because what I wanted
he could not offer.
I dated a poet once,
who does not write anymore.
I took his fire with me,
forevermore.
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 4, 2015 at 7:18 AM UTC
"its actually you-"
he laughed
"surprising enough."
Me.
The poltergeist.
"Yes you. Your image."
My image.
"You are the ghost."
That will haunt you forever.
"I wouldn't mind..."
I am chained to you.
"I feel alive in you"
Like the constant energy amounted in a sea of stars.
"Almost like how two objects have a gravitational
pull with each other."
To separate would cause inevitable turmoil.
You are mine.
Always have been,
always will be.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 8:29 AM UTC