What you’re telling yourself
Is not true.
Don’t feed the spider.
Yes, I know, you harmed yourself.
That doesn’t mean you might as well
Go farther.
Yes, I know, you ruined yourself.
That doesn’t mean you’re not worth
Anything, anymore, anyone.
Yes, I know, you lost yourself.
That doesn’t mean you have to lose
Everyone and everything else.
Yes, I know, you’re all by yourself.
That doesn’t mean you’re unloved.
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 12:52 AM UTC
There are scars.
There are paths on my skin
That my tears follow, widening gaps,
Both corroding and smoothing.
There are moments when I want
To extinguish my flame for just
Five minutes, or ten.
And just exist without existing,
Without the trouble of being corporeal
Being real without having to be real.
Because I think crying is a crime.
I think my being is a *****
I think life is sometimes a lie.
And that we’re all two dimensional,
Living what we think are full lives.
This is the question
I long to and am afraid to ask:
How does one carry on? And then
Carry on carrying on?
How do I forget the sting of salt
Sticking to the underside of eyelids
And the feeling of weakness after
The breakdown?
I can’t leave, and I’m terrified of
Going on. But there’s no way
Not to make a decision. Not deciding
Means going on in the meantime’s mean time.
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 8, 2017 at 12:51 AM UTC
You have become
So much more to me
Than just your shell.
Although it is a wonderful shell,
That no one could deny is
Alluring from every angle,
I am more inclined to love
The soul that it contains.
May 8, 2017
May 8, 2017 at 5:25 PM UTC
Have you ever fought sleep
As if it were your enemy?
Have you ever clung to dreams
Because reality was hard to see?
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 7:23 PM UTC
When the light scatters
in the grass
As the landscape blurs
through the glass.
Every bump in the road lets our knees touch
fast
And I’m just so afraid that this moment
can’t last.
Don’t want to forget all the things
we schemed
Of hugs and of hands raised
in comradery.
As I’m sat here alone I know that it’s
ending,
And I’m just so afraid that my heart
will quit mending.
The last time I felt your hand
on mine
We were united by threads I thought
(were a sign)
Of some future we’d have if they’d
(finally untie).
And I’m just so afraid that we’ve said
(our goodbyes).
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 5:09 PM UTC
All I'm doing is chasing it,
Love is irresistible,
All I want is,
To be part of your symphony,
You're beautiful master piece,
Part of what you're creating,
My edges are rough too,
Let's be damaged together,
Walking hand in hand,
Through the road of glass,
That society calls life,
No it won't be an easy walk,
But if my feet are going to get hurt,
Bleeding from the pain,
There's no one else,
I'd bleed with too.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 4:45 PM UTC
The cold is razor sharp, but my knife cuts deeper still.
As sinews rip apart, my future bends anew.
They may call it crime, but who are they to judge?
It’s a fight to stay alive, and it’s worth a sacrifice.
As every light goes out, I whistle my way home
My spirit is resolved. This tragedy none will solve.
The next day in my flat, as I count my newfound wealth,
I laugh at all the prats dressed head to toe in black.
It fills my heart with glee when a summons finds my door
The court must find guilt of one oddly resembling me.
Those fools with the wigs run their mouths for days and nights,
Presenting “facts” and defendant's “rights” while common sense they lack.
For quite some time I sit content while no one dares suspect.
But mad disease starts to infect when I see how that poor man still pleads...
As trials drone on for weeks lacking release,
I feel myself slip into something like grief-
I’m weak at the seams whenever I sleep,
the ghosts of my victims haunt every dream.
When judgment is cast, I don’t make a sound,
all is rustling of paper and staring at ground.
“Confess,” breathes a demon, my soul harrows in fear.
But frozen I’m found
As the gavel
Comes
Down.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 4:43 PM UTC
My faith is strong, it rests on high
In Him who hears my every cry
When every breath turns to a sigh
I know that in His arms I’ll lie.
There is none besides our God
The one who wipes away our tears
I know because it’s Him I fear
That I will always hence rejoice.
From that day when my heart changed,
Not on my own, but by His grace,
I’ll serve Him now day by day
Lord, let your name be proclaimed.
There is none besides our God
The one who wipes away our tears
I know because it’s Him I fear
That I will always hence rejoice.
I will not fear of death or pain
Despite this rocky, rough terrain,
Because in God I will remain.
I know that life will come with rain.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
The thunder's growling at me and I don't know how to respond;
I've got the same problem as he:
The sky's rubbing me the wrong way,
And if I could yell like the clouds then I would.
But I don't have the strength.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 4:37 PM UTC
When you let the pain linger
And feel everything take effect,
A thousand satellites shiver
At that one song your tears respect
When you long for what’s past
You know happiness could be obtained
If you’d just let your mind relax.
But your shelter’s in this sad refrain.
So you let the music’s swell increase
In a way no words could e’er describe
But maybe when the lyrics cease
You could once again take up the fight.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 4:33 PM UTC