I'm having this feeling again that's so familiar to me..
some years ago..
now it scares me..
it's like all those fears come rushing back to me again..
like my broken pieces that I tried so hard to put back together are cracking up again..
like I'm gonna be left alone again...
it's so scary I can't breath..
my chest feels so heavy I can't stop crying..
I feel like i am not needed..
I suddenly feel insecure..
like I no longer know my place..
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 9:04 AM UTC
I am getting used to it
No message from you
No chat from me
Maybe i'm getting there
Day by day
I feel courage
Day by day
I feel strength
Everything is temporary
And this pain is no exception
This hurt will go away
Someday I'll be free
In time there'll be no more tears
Nor bitterness caged in my chest
No more racing thoughts in my head
Nor an image of a woman at night who weeps
Day by day
My heart will get used to it
Not being with you
And not kissing your lips.
Day by day
I'll get back to my feet
With my head up high
And a victorious smile on my face.
When that time comes
I'll know I have no regrets
Because in my heart I know
For what we had, I did my best.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 1:34 AM UTC
It's not the cheating anymore
Nor the lies I believed in
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give up on me
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give me away
Just like a teddy bear
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to say I deserve someone better than you
But above all this I promise you
Someday I will become more than just a teddy bear
I will become a teddy bear that you or anybody can't just give away that easy..
I promise you that..
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 4:09 AM UTC
Next time, I hope you fall in love with someone who always chats back and never lets you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.
I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies.
I hope you fall in love with someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and can write sonnets about them, and hears music in your heartbeat and laugh.
I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and make you smile on hard days and on easy ones.
But beyond all that, I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and will never take you for granted, someone who will stand by you when you're right and stand by you when you're wrong, someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still.
I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold and wouldn't have you any other way..
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
It's been 202 days
Since the last time we're together
202 days since I last held you,
202 days since we last kissed,
And everyday that I wasn't with you
Is everyday I missed you
Because I love you.
202 days and counting...
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 10:00 AM UTC
You know I love you
You know what makes me smile
And what makes me cry
You know what brings me laughter
Even what makes me sigh
More importantly
You know what's gonna break my heart...
But still... You did...
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 8:12 AM UTC
While inside the train
I was thinking
Have I ever made you feel really happy
Even for just a moment?
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 9:14 AM UTC
I'll grab this time to think for myself
Can I really take this break?
Did I make you feel happy somehow?
Can I give up my ultimate dream for you?
I am now asking myself
This many questions inside my head
Can I give up my dream to become a mother
And to become a wife to you my dear?
Am I capable to have a home
Of only me and you
Without a child
And without a knot to tie us two?
While I'm waiting for you
To your quest to fix your life
I will talk to myself
And tell you my answers
to my own questions, in time.
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 9:36 AM UTC
How can you hurt someone
who loves you more than enough?
How could you lie to the one
who gave you all her trust?
But why do I still love you
Even if you broke my heart?
Why do I still care for you?
Why do I still long for you?
Why?! Why?! Why?!
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 10:56 AM UTC
Do you still love me?
Do you still care?
Do you miss me too
Like how much I miss you?
What's on your mind baby?
Do you want me no more?
Have you already forgotten
How we made this love?
I said I miss you so much
You replied "ditto"
What's on your mind
When you hesitated twice in typing your response?
Please don't let me get tired
If you don't love me anymore
Just say it
Right through my face.
I'd better be hurt by the truth
Than be happy with lies.
I don't want to guess
I need answers.
I need the truth
Please don't deprive me of that
I love you
With all my heart.
I want to cry now
I'm already crying inside
But I'm telling myself
I need to be brave.
What do I lack?
Is love really not enough?
Please help me God
Don't want to ***** my life.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 12:32 AM UTC