I'm having this feeling again that's so familiar to me..
some years ago..
now it scares me..
it's like all those fears come rushing back to me again..
like my broken pieces that I tried so hard to put back together are cracking up again..
like I'm gonna be left alone again...
it's so scary I can't breath..
my chest feels so heavy I can't stop crying..
I feel like i am not needed..
I suddenly feel insecure..
like I no longer know my place..
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 9:04 AM UTC
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 11:35 AM UTC
I am getting used to it
No message from you
No chat from me
Maybe i'm getting there
Day by day
I feel courage
Day by day
I feel strength
Everything is temporary
And this pain is no exception
This hurt will go away
Someday I'll be free
In time there'll be no more tears
Nor bitterness caged in my chest
No more racing thoughts in my head
Nor an image of a woman at night who weeps
Day by day
My heart will get used to it
Not being with you
And not kissing your lips.
Day by day
I'll get back to my feet
With my head up high
And a victorious smile on my face.
When that time comes
I'll know I have no regrets
Because in my heart I know
For what we had, I did my best.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 1:34 AM UTC
It's not the cheating anymore
Nor the lies I believed in
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give up on me
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to give me away
Just like a teddy bear
It's the thought of how easy it is for you to say I deserve someone better than you
But above all this I promise you
Someday I will become more than just a teddy bear
I will become a teddy bear that you or anybody can't just give away that easy..
I promise you that..
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 4:09 AM UTC
dating a writer
is like guessing the weather.
you think you know what you'll get,
but you never do.
you never know
because
she'll create a hero
from your weaknesses
and she'll write a great character,
from every last flaw.
she'll create a thousand plots
from your worst nightmares.
she'll take every last thing you hate
and create something you'll love.
she'll turn your anger
into confessions of adoration,
and she'll make you,
everything you're not.
but worst of all,
she'll leave you wondering-
is it you she's in love with,
or things she's created from you?
but here's the beauty of it:
if you date a writer,
you'll never die.
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 3:59 AM UTC
Next time, I hope you fall in love with someone who always chats back and never lets you fall asleep thinking you're unwanted.
I hope you fall in love with someone who holds your hand during the scary parts of horror movies.
I hope you fall in love with someone who sees galaxies in your eyes and can write sonnets about them, and hears music in your heartbeat and laugh.
I hope you fall in love with someone who tickles you and make you smile on hard days and on easy ones.
But beyond all that, I hope you fall in love with someone who will never leave you behind and will never take you for granted, someone who will stand by you when you're right and stand by you when you're wrong, someone who has seen you at your worst and has loved you still.
I hope you fall in love with someone who kisses you in the rain and hugs you in the cold and wouldn't have you any other way..
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 10:28 PM UTC
It's been 202 days
Since the last time we're together
202 days since I last held you,
202 days since we last kissed,
And everyday that I wasn't with you
Is everyday I missed you
Because I love you.
202 days and counting...
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 10:00 AM UTC
You know I love you
You know what makes me smile
And what makes me cry
You know what brings me laughter
Even what makes me sigh
More importantly
You know what's gonna break my heart...
But still... You did...
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 8:12 AM UTC
While inside the train
I was thinking
Have I ever made you feel really happy
Even for just a moment?
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 9:14 AM UTC
I'll grab this time to think for myself
Can I really take this break?
Did I make you feel happy somehow?
Can I give up my ultimate dream for you?
I am now asking myself
This many questions inside my head
Can I give up my dream to become a mother
And to become a wife to you my dear?
Am I capable to have a home
Of only me and you
Without a child
And without a knot to tie us two?
While I'm waiting for you
To your quest to fix your life
I will talk to myself
And tell you my answers
to my own questions, in time.
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 9:36 AM UTC