I'm queen of being
First at coming in second
I'm not number one
Why can't someone put me there
Pick me, choose me, please
Jul 9, 2016
Jul 9, 2016 at 2:25 AM UTC
As I sit in my car I realize
I have no more alibis
I've run outa lies to tell myself
The relationship I've built was a compromise
to make myself feel alive
But it's not working anymore
...Nothing's working anymore
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 10:14 AM UTC
If you weren't already resting in that grave I would be there now.
to be jealous of the dead is the worst thing to be, but hey that's me.
Wishing my parents hadn't buried one so long ago, cuz I need to go.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
I can't blame you for what he did.
He chose you over me
But that doesn't mean I crucify you both
I must learn to accept that you were what he craved
Though I craved him so much more
You feel his lips
But I ... Well I tasted them the sweetness of the green leaf and the minty gum he used to hide it the crest tooth paste and the grape mouth wash
When his lips sparked with mine I could taste him
You feel his hug
But I .... Well I devoured that hug to get every ounce of lighting through my body as he nuzzled my neck making the giggly bubbles pop in the quite night air
You maybe lay in his bed
But I... Well I cuddled him like he was my bouy in the open sea guiding me to safety
...and now I'm drowning without him so you better say goodbye before I kiss the waves and hug the ocean floor cuddling with what is below
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 11:43 PM UTC
In seven years every cell in my body will be replaced and you will have never ....
laid your hand apon my thigh
Stroked my cheek as you told me everything I wanted to hear
Held my hand as you lead me to your room
Grazed my ribs as my shirt came off
Grasped my breast as you clawed for closeness
Kissed my neck till I gave you my lips
Nuzzled against every part of me till I giggled like a little girl
Moaned my name till I let my walls crash down
But in seven years time every cell in your body will be replaced
And I will have never
Laid in the crease of your arm like it was my only home
Kissed your lips like they gave me life
Cuddled with you like you were the only solace I had
Talked to you like you were the only one listening
Trusted you like you were the only truth I'd ever know
Because in seven years you will be a newer you and I a newer I and what will our bodies remember of the week we two fell in lust
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 11:36 PM UTC
I tried.
I tried to forget that summer
I tried to stop thinking about you
I tried to let it go
I tried to like other boys
I learned.
I learned other boys are cruel
I learned other boys are rough
I learned other boys are to much
I learned other boys are controlling
I question.
I question why you don't call me out on these
I question why you don't realize these are about you
I question why you don't just ******* talk to me
I question why you don't give this a shot
I sigh.
Because I know I will forever be a silly little girl who likes the shadow of a boy who will never come back for me though I've grown and changed and still feel a flame in the pit of my stomach every time I see anything with your name pop onto my screen
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
The path way was my yellow brick road
The picnic table was my emerald city
The boy with his nose in a book was my wizard
The gift he gave me was his judgement less stares and his forever listening ear
Maybe I was to young
Maybe I was to dumb
Maybe I wasent brave enough
Maybe I wasent pretty enough
Maybe you just saw me as a silly girl
Maybe you just were to busy with that maze of a book
But that summer will forever be my what if
What if I had been older
What if I had been braver
What if I had snatched that book away
What if I had occupied your brain the way that book did
What if I had stolen those lips between bites of concentration
What if I had snatched your finger tips between page flips
Maybe thing would be different
Maybe things would be better
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014 at 10:24 PM UTC
I haven’t touched another guy since alex….
I never really thought I would
well not for some time.
I went on a few dates ….even tried it again with alex but knew none of these boys did I want my lips to touch with.
Until you….
I let you kiss me…
again…
and again….
and then again when you pushed me against my car….
then again when you pushed me down inside my car….
then when I said wait and you said okay It felt good.
I felt everything in my stomach unclench and every wall come down and I thought I would finally be okay
For that feeling I lied
For that feeling I entered another bedroom basement
For that feeling I laid in your bed
for that feeling I let myself go
Then you dismissed me….I became a bitch…to dramatic…blowing up your phone….annoying you…because clearly you had so much to do that didn’t involve me.
But each time when I had you between my lips….you had the time to kiss me over and over
you didn’t find me dramatic or ****** with your ****
stuffed down my throat
But I guess once you got what you wanted I was no longer something you wanted to deal with…
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 2:41 AM UTC
I never thought you would
You never had the strength before
I saw you holding her hand
Is that your strength now
Do your finger intertwined with hers give you the strength to say the things you did
Is she why you finally did it
Is she really better then anything I could be
Did you really mean it
You never gave me a shot
And I told you to
But I never thought you would
Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 12:13 AM UTC
I could blame it on being a ditz…or on it being a new razor…or even that I was belting out that note at the end of for the first time in forever from frozen
But in reality I know it’s just me…wanting to make sure I can still feel something cuz I’m so **** numb again
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014 at 11:54 PM UTC