Nekhbet13 - Hello Poetry

All I wanted Was an I love you. That didn’t sound like an apology. Make love like an apology. Shop for groceries like an apology Hold me, like an apology Eat your dinner, Like an apology Watch TV, like an apology Take a shower, like an apology Brush your teeth, like an apology Fall asleep, Dream of a life where you don’t have to feel so lonely. When you say I love you I say I’m sorry I wanted a love that felt like celebration. All you knew how to do Was feel guilty, For not wanting me anymore, But refusing to go.

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Jan 10, 2021

Jan 10, 2021 at 4:47 AM UTC

Nekhbet13

Apology

All I wanted Was an I love you. That didn’t sound like an apology. Make love like an apology. Shop for groceries like an apology Hold me, like an apology Eat your dinner, Like an apology Watch TV, like an apology Take a shower, like an apology Brush your teeth, like an apology Fall asleep, Dream of a life where you don’t have to feel so lonely. When you say I love you I say I’m sorry I wanted a love that felt like celebration. All you knew how to do Was feel guilty, For not wanting me anymore, But refusing to go.

20

Seafoam green Blond waves Crashing Into weary seas I saw an entire ocean In your eyes Your gaze could move mountains But calmed the storm in me A lone lighthouse Your heart was a beacon Guiding me home But an albatross Won’t make a nest Until it finds a mate And it’s hard to swim In a hospital gown All you can do is drown You can’t reach the ground What I would give to hear the sound Of your voice One last time

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Nov 22, 2020

Nov 22, 2020 at 11:51 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

Weary Seas

Seafoam green Blond waves Crashing Into weary seas I saw an entire ocean In your eyes Your gaze could move mountains But calmed the storm in me A lone lighthouse Your heart was a beacon Guiding me home But an albatross Won’t make a nest Until it finds a mate And it’s hard to swim In a hospital gown All you can do is drown You can’t reach the ground What I would give to hear the sound Of your voice One last time

21

When asked how I feel about men I have come to a reply That is at once concise and yet insufficient But I say Men make me wish I didn’t have a face. Make me contemplate how much easier it would be to be a featureless blob Men turn the phrase “flesh prison” from meme into reality Men make me feel less than human Men make me feel helpless Bound tight within a world that tells me The struggle is futile Your cries for help will be silenced Men make a mockery of beauty They smother and crush all that is precious in this world Men make me want to light this body on fire Just to watch them choke on the smoke.

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Nov 19, 2020

Nov 19, 2020 at 12:03 AM UTC

Nekhbet13

Men

When asked how I feel about men I have come to a reply That is at once concise and yet insufficient But I say Men make me wish I didn’t have a face. Make me contemplate how much easier it would be to be a featureless blob Men turn the phrase “flesh prison” from meme into reality Men make me feel less than human Men make me feel helpless Bound tight within a world that tells me The struggle is futile Your cries for help will be silenced Men make a mockery of beauty They smother and crush all that is precious in this world Men make me want to light this body on fire Just to watch them choke on the smoke.

16

I want to wake up to you every morning And kiss you before bed every night I want to hold you when I want to Just because it felt right I want to tell you how much I love you With my hands when words just wont suffice I want to keep you I've waited so long to meet someone Just like you Just, you

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Oct 15, 2020

Oct 15, 2020 at 11:46 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

Daydreaming

I want to wake up to you every morning And kiss you before bed every night I want to hold you when I want to Just because it felt right I want to tell you how much I love you With my hands when words just wont suffice I want to keep you I've waited so long to meet someone Just like you Just, you

10

I would argue that to miss someone is a form of grieving. So many of our emotions are related to a sense of loss however real or imagined. Although we may be able to conceptualize that a separation is temporary that fact may be of little solace to one's body. To long for someone is synomnous with grief. Desire is rooted in a want for something that is lacking. To miss someone is to ache for them. To both reject the notion of being parted and to be compelled to correct this error. Yet we so often can not. Our bodies protest. They cry out for regularity, to right this wrong, to motion to correcting this sense of loss. Perhaps this is why I feel justified in saying that parting from you is a little death that I am still grieving from. That I am attending a funeral no one else can see.

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Oct 15, 2020

Oct 15, 2020 at 11:35 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

Untitled

I would argue that to miss someone is a form of grieving. So many of our emotions are related to a sense of loss however real or imagined. Although we may be able to conceptualize that a separation is temporary that fact may be of little solace to one's body. To long for someone is synomnous with grief. Desire is rooted in a want for something that is lacking. To miss someone is to ache for them. To both reject the notion of being parted and to be compelled to correct this error. Yet we so often can not. Our bodies protest. They cry out for regularity, to right this wrong, to motion to correcting this sense of loss. Perhaps this is why I feel justified in saying that parting from you is a little death that I am still grieving from. That I am attending a funeral no one else can see.

1

It's not like missing you It's a withdrawl It feels so consuming and yet I witness it all with a clinical understanding There's an emptiness inside of me That moves to envelop the space Where you once stood Here I see myself The quiet so much louder in your absence I am reminded how disappointed I am in myself

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Sep 27, 2020

Sep 27, 2020 at 10:21 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

Without You

It's not like missing you It's a withdrawl It feels so consuming and yet I witness it all with a clinical understanding There's an emptiness inside of me That moves to envelop the space Where you once stood Here I see myself The quiet so much louder in your absence I am reminded how disappointed I am in myself

10

my mental health has not been so good as of late but I keep telling myself it's alright it's no big deal it shall pass and it does pass, I tell myself that I should sleep exhaustion weighing down on me and yet my worry makes it impossible to sleep. I am brooding. Reminination is what they call it. and so I am greeted with the fear, the paranoia of every could be. My chest is aching my heart beating too heavy I tell myself that I am fine it's not so bad I wonder tho what healthy looks like.

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Sep 27, 2020

Sep 27, 2020 at 10:21 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

Insomnia

my mental health has not been so good as of late but I keep telling myself it's alright it's no big deal it shall pass and it does pass, I tell myself that I should sleep exhaustion weighing down on me and yet my worry makes it impossible to sleep. I am brooding. Reminination is what they call it. and so I am greeted with the fear, the paranoia of every could be. My chest is aching my heart beating too heavy I tell myself that I am fine it's not so bad I wonder tho what healthy looks like.

20

I’m starting to feel braver. I am ready to reach out again. Here I find myself asking if we could allow our love to begin. I want to leave soft kisses where rough hands have been. With your permission, I would like to pull you close to me and trace the curvature of your skin. If our desires do align, it is my hope that we would take our time, To savor every nibble and every bite. Passion is after all, such a wonderful delight. With your hand in mine, we can entwine As we step onto the path to the divine. I know this is a place where dark shadows may loom Believe me, I have seen them too But this could be something new, this could be a chance to bloom Petal by petal, I ask for a chance, to melt into you like warm rays of sun I can hold all of you, without crushing a single bud.

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Sep 6, 2020

Sep 6, 2020 at 5:18 AM UTC

Nekhbet13

I want to fall in Love

I’m starting to feel braver. I am ready to reach out again. Here I find myself asking if we could allow our love to begin. I want to leave soft kisses where rough hands have been. With your permission, I would like to pull you close to me and trace the curvature of your skin. If our desires do align, it is my hope that we would take our time, To savor every nibble and every bite. Passion is after all, such a wonderful delight. With your hand in mine, we can entwine As we step onto the path to the divine. I know this is a place where dark shadows may loom Believe me, I have seen them too But this could be something new, this could be a chance to bloom Petal by petal, I ask for a chance, to melt into you like warm rays of sun I can hold all of you, without crushing a single bud.

15

I don't talk about my self harm much Because I can't do it without revealing The depth of my desire It's like, how someone would talk about their favorite food, or *** The scars on my body Are a momento to the capacity To turn pain into pleasure An escape into which I can dive Flesh first. They speak of sins of the flesh. I would compare my urge To gluttony, or lust. The thing about addiction tho Is that it's a lot like walking a tightrope Everything in balance But theres no net. I'm a self taught gymnast Twisting myself to prove, How far I can push myself A mastery over my own body And the, click, click, click That only knows one way to be silenced I don't know how else to love my body But to define it by what I can take from it And I have a habit Of being, oh so, very greedy When I let someone love me I find myself hoping That they have enough hunger to consume me So that maybe I wont, devour myself.

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Sep 6, 2020

Sep 6, 2020 at 4:26 AM UTC

Nekhbet13

Addiction

I don't talk about my self harm much Because I can't do it without revealing The depth of my desire It's like, how someone would talk about their favorite food, or *** The scars on my body Are a momento to the capacity To turn pain into pleasure An escape into which I can dive Flesh first. They speak of sins of the flesh. I would compare my urge To gluttony, or lust. The thing about addiction tho Is that it's a lot like walking a tightrope Everything in balance But theres no net. I'm a self taught gymnast Twisting myself to prove, How far I can push myself A mastery over my own body And the, click, click, click That only knows one way to be silenced I don't know how else to love my body But to define it by what I can take from it And I have a habit Of being, oh so, very greedy When I let someone love me I find myself hoping That they have enough hunger to consume me So that maybe I wont, devour myself.

32

So you wanna have a baby But are you ready, To give away parts of yourself you don’t even know exist yet? You thought you knew what love is But have you ever held it? Cradled love in your arms That kind of love will change you in ways you can not fathom until it happens to you. Be careful who you have kids with They say, But can you feel the weight? I signed away my life on a birth certificate I strangled my own heart with my own principles I knew I wanted to love this deep But I didn’t know what it would feel like All I know, is that I don’t know when I last felt truly happy And it’s still Entirely worth it.

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Aug 30, 2020

Aug 30, 2020 at 8:37 PM UTC

Nekhbet13

So you wanna have a Baby

So you wanna have a baby But are you ready, To give away parts of yourself you don’t even know exist yet? You thought you knew what love is But have you ever held it? Cradled love in your arms That kind of love will change you in ways you can not fathom until it happens to you. Be careful who you have kids with They say, But can you feel the weight? I signed away my life on a birth certificate I strangled my own heart with my own principles I knew I wanted to love this deep But I didn’t know what it would feel like All I know, is that I don’t know when I last felt truly happy And it’s still Entirely worth it.

18