Ice cream melts on my hand,
My face is dripping as I get off the keg stand.
I tug insecurely at my braids, the left thicker than the right.
**** I've gained weight, my skirt is too tight!
I shed a tear, I've stubbed my toe.
I failed an exam five times in a row.
I stayed up so late watching TV.
"Her abs are killer!" I stare with envy.
I can't find my new favorite pen.
I lost mine. Can I hit off yours, my friend?
My shoes don't twinkle anymore,
What did I do to make them call me a -
Feb 25, 2025
Feb 25, 2025 at 12:50 AM UTC
The flurries of a crush swooned in my belly.
I remember fixing my ivory headband and tidying my cornflower blue sweater,
before you picked me up from school so we could eat dumplings together.
Your hands struggled with the chopsticks, I guess I wasn't a great teacher, but you tried and I found your effort charming.
You pulled out two pins and a small white cat, a little gift for me.
Like a chameleon,
I turned red, mimicking the Sichuan peppers adorning the fried wontons on our plates.
Being with you brought me ease, my mind was at rest because you thought for me.
Of course,
once the problems got too big, they weighed far too heavily on us.
And I, a meek mouse, could hardly sustain the issues in my head.
Being in love felt wonderful- -and finding myself feels glorious,
too.
We plotted our seeds in two different pots. We weren't meant to grow together forever.
Feb 25, 2025
Feb 25, 2025 at 12:41 AM UTC
Am I so silly
For sprouting possibilities of us
with my hand in enveloped in yours
If I haven’t gotten myself together to talk to you yet?
In my mind you’re as sweet at flan, or condensed milk on bread.
You could be a ****
You could talk back to your mother,
Or worse, litter.
I wouldn’t know
Because I haven’t gotten myself to talk to you yet.
I observe your outfits. Some could say I borderline stalk you.
In a way that makes me cute because I’m so curious, but if our roles were reversed you’d definitely be called a creep.
I just want to observe you without getting too close.
The anticipation of rejection still worries me.
I told my mother about you, so don’t disappoint me.
Then again, how could you? Especially if I haven’t gotten myself to talk to you yet.
I blush when I think of your colored eyes, curly hair, or black Sketchers.
And you’re so tall
I wonder how much it’ll hurt to bend down when you kiss me.
I wouldn’t know what that feels like (yet), because I haven’t gotten the courage to talk to you.
I can’t help but wonder
If God is shaking His head because I’m slowly swirling into delusion.
Or if he’s cheering me on because His work with us is almost done.
It’d only make sense that we meet in His house.
Could we lock eyes as you move the basket down my pew?
And do you admire me from afar too?
Sep 15, 2024
Sep 15, 2024 at 2:14 AM UTC
i wake up tired
five more minutes
300 seconds isn't enough to prepare me for the exhaustion ahead of me
so i give myself five more minutes
finally with all of my will
i push myself to embark on a day that beats me until i can't differentiate a plum from my left eye
i drag through the floor of my room
one day doesn't define a week
yet it's always one ****** day after the next
and everyone is dying
time is giving up almost as fast as mother earth is
i make a smoothie that i convinced myself to like
because it tastes like compliments in a bikini in the summer
and a flat stomach
and a big *** that will get the attention of old men with poor taste
in the car, i crawl towards the sleep that my physics homework didn't let me get
she's so needy sometimes
****
i didn't finish reading my history homework
my brain doesn't grasp at the senseless words on the page
I'm bound to experience this history first-hand considering the lessons that world leaders fail to learn anyway
school
i like school
liked school
i was taught to color in the lines
as if life is ever in the lines
i like school
but i don't like it as much when I'm crying because i feel like a failure
or when my heart beats so fast that I'm scared it's going to push outside of my chest and run to a body that won't put it through so much stress
i don't like it as much when i have 3 tests and 2 projects in a week
but i like it when i see my friends for 30 minutes periodically
maybe i like school
i practice for 2 hours after school
that's my favorite time
i forget school
i forget problems
i just focus on not getting hit in the face
i like practice
but then i go home
and homework cascades my bedroom
she's trying to drown me you know
so i don't sleep
and then i wake up tired
five more minutes
Apr 28, 2022
Apr 28, 2022 at 7:56 PM UTC
I'd never thought that I'd live freely with your absence.
Yet you leaving was the piece of the puzzle that was missing.
I'd been staring at a screen
my mind was mangled by the continuous circle that flowed before it was ****** into the abyss of a black hole.
And I'd been tricked into thinking that with you I was living.
But now without you, I'm breathing.
If you asked me a year ago who I depended on most I'd say your name.
I didn't have to register the question because as soon as "dependent" left your lips I knew the answer.
My name wouldn't have been considered.
With you,
Fear constantly crept on my body and tickled my spine as it breathed down my neck because making you upset was the ultimate sin in my book.
All I'd known was loving the image of you from the first day we met.
All the ****** up things you said to me after were erased because you reminded me what it was like to be called beautiful by someone other than my mother.
The ache you caused me didn't hurt as much as I'd been expecting it to.
I haven't missed you in weeks and only think of you in my prayers.
I pray that you've changed so the new girl doesn't have to learn as many lessons as I did from my experience with you.
I'm no longer afraid of your ******** facade.
I can identify an ignorant coward from 342 miles away.
Yet some tears were worth shedding when the droplets were swept away by a gracious hand.
My fingertips caressed my cheek.
And I remembered what it was like to be called beautiful and strong by someone other than my mother.
Nov 30, 2021
Nov 30, 2021 at 6:26 PM UTC
When did you turn into a soggy apple?
You'd been sweet and plump and round and shiny.
And apple juice would drip down my chin.
Then you wrinkled and tickled my tongue when I'd take a bite.
And you were sour and brown and mushy.
Soggy apple.
Nov 29, 2021
Nov 29, 2021 at 11:28 PM UTC
I can't even say I know what to write anymore.
Life has been depleted from my fingertips.
It's 8 in the morning.
Yes, we see you teaching us, please give us a break.
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 11:09 PM UTC
I wish I could’ve said thank you again.
I wish that I could’ve held your body for a little longer
Held your hand a little stronger
So that I could remember the curves and crevices on your palm
I wish my words could’ve extinguished the fire that surrounded you
I wish I could’ve ****** the harmful air out of the room that engulfed your lungs
I wish I could’ve changed the thermometer for our world and made it warmer
So you wouldn’t have been in the house in the first place
I wish I would’ve made a PowerPoint of all the ways you made me cherish life more
I wish I could’ve said goodbye
I wish I would’ve made more conversation and made fewer abbreviations because now I feel I was shortening our time together
I wish I would’ve danced to your mumbled words that you sang in the pews at church
I wish I could’ve seen you more
I wish I could’ve made you happy,
And had fought through the excuses when I said I couldn’t
You were the one that cared
And you stuck by everyone’s side until they were better
I wish I had done the same for you
It’s hard to realize the sacrifices done for us
But we should accept it,
Before it’s too late.
On January 30th I lost someone I didn’t expect to lose
I wish I hadn’t lost him
He was too young
And the life ahead of him was full
It is said that before you pass there are 7 minutes of brain activity left
And you go through the moments in your life
I hope I was in one of those clips
I shouldn't have lost you,
But I did
And I miss you so much
And I would pray that it was all fake news and you would come back
But I know you can’t
So thank you for the visit as an angel
I couldn’t say goodbye to you
But sometime in the future, I will say hello once again.
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 11:06 PM UTC
I am America.
To become president you have to be a natural-born citizen, at least 35 years old, and a resident for 14 years,
fruits are accepted too.
As well as uneducated people with no prior experience in politics that have their reality tv shows.
Masks are political statements like bumper stickers on a car,
A person’s IQ hangs on the invisible threads of a maskless face.
That does an oh-so-well job of covering an ugly mouth that spits gum onto the ground and insults at one's face.
School shootings are justified by the mental illnesses of white people,
but a forged president Jackson will press against the neck of George Floyd by a man with a badge that once meant honor.
Terrorists that attack a branch of our government are called patriots,
but a movement supporting a black person’s right to live freely without fear is ‘’racist and communist.’’
I am America.
People neglect climate change as an issue,
yet believe a shadow from a groundhog to tell the prolonging of winter.
Here we’re proud to be “American,”
forgetting that our border neighbors are American too.
Kids are bullied for having melanin by the same people that get skin cancer at 23 from their excessive tanning obsession.
Our shelves incarcerate black hair products with padlocks and laser beams,
Conditioner and gel are guarded better than our Congress.
Guns can be found next to the gum as you checkout.
I am America?
Where a flag supporting slavery,
representing centuries of degrading, oppressive, demonizing, racism,
justifying hate against people whose beliefs don’t match Christian values,
hangs on the porch of a couple who are first cousins.
They believe same-sex marriage is a sin,
but he cheats on his wife with the clerk down the street twice a week
and condemns a 13-year-old’s body that couldn’t bear a child without losing her life.
Pointing to her in ridicule,
with a finger connecting to the flaunting ******** clinging to the forearm.
And on Sundays they hold each other’s palms,
reciting a prayer to a God,
for their home on land that was snatched from Native arms.
I am America.
The ongoing battle of old white men defending older white men to be on our money is never a closed discussion,
because they can’t bear to have a freedom fighter named Harriet Tubman have the recognition she deserves.
‘’GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY’’ is yelled to indigenous people that dance for the 8 million natives that couldn’t.
“GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY” is yelled at to people whose ancestors were stolen and flung onto grimy boats that couldn’t sustain pure human lives.
“GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY” is yelled at people who “steal our jobs”
but the jobs they “steal” are managed by people that speak a different tongue and you feel too privileged to do.
Our history plays on repeat,
As our fears are held by the hands of men that couldn’t keep their wrinkly white hands to themselves.
I am America.
Where the irony settles,
Of four white men carved into sacred land.
As they dug their mucky nails and lanky fingers in the shoulders of thriving indigenous people.
I am America. as
Our land is as free as the slaves in 1863.
Our states are united,
As we are the home of the cowards.
Two colors flood an election map,
three colors on a star-spangled banner.
Drawn are 13 stripes of colonizers,
and 50 stars of stolen Native land.
I am America.
I’m not proud,
nor patriotic,
just disappointed.
As a flag waves in disgrace,
being American is just being born in the United States,
I am America.
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 11:01 PM UTC
Without realizing it
I lay down
And take a deep breath
I feel the coldness of the grass on my arms and legs
They ***** a little on the sides of my thighs
My fingertips touch the dirt that produced the grass which my very body lays on
My eyes are closed so that I won’t be overwhelmed by the suns rays
And I feel invincible
In a way that I can walk around with the biggest smile on my face
And it is because I am simply in a state of happiness
I smile a little as my body sets into the ground
Feeling the soft touch of the dandelions on my ankles
And with that, I am placed back into an image of when I would blow off the seeds of the dandelions and make a wish
Hoping that it would soon become true
But now,
Now I don’t even remember my wishes
Not from the dandelions,
Or the birthday candles,
And you know,
It’s quite curious,
how when we make wishes
We close our eyes and hope they come true
But later on
I kid you not
You will forget about them too.
Nov 9, 2021
Nov 9, 2021 at 10:55 PM UTC