I have a confession
I don't mind depression
It helped me make friends
But what if it ends
Would they ever stay
Even for one day
Maybe they would
No reason they should
I am worthless
Couldn't be less
My pain is unbearable
Chains so unwearable
My mind is my prison
By my own decision
Locked myself inside
Don't let me outside
I will destroy you
Though I don't mean to
My issues are contagious
Loving me is outrageous
So do yourself a favor
And make yourself a hater
Throw away the key
Before you can see
The monster that is hidden
I horse never to be ridden
Please just keep me caged
Never to be engaged
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 2:06 PM UTC
An attempt to tempt temptation we're facing
The entire nation is wasting
While the time clock is racing
Sitting idle I dwell
Don't know what to do
A bottomless well
filled with good intentions
That I forgot to mention
while men's sons
climb the walls
Fingers bleed
so I choose to run
Pain outweighed only by guilt
An attempt to hide so no one would see
Added my hand by not lending a hand
The inevitable entropy
Criticize the critter's size
This infiltration among us
A monstrous demon
indeed in need of expatriation
The daily battle uphill
An upheaval, this weasel
An endless war of soldiers who sold their souls
Signed their mark on the dotted line
Became a mere dot left in time
Sand in the glass we know will not last
Last train leaves the station
Can not stay
Have been shunned
Should have listened when told
On an endless list now too old
The souls that time has forgotten
A swirl in the whirlpool for getting into this mess
A choice we did not choose
Being lost made us lose
A loser with nothing to lose
Loose with our lips
Quick with the fists
A tunnel with no light
The endless darkness in sight
Filled with fear, we do not fright
For what is wrong feels so right
Take the plunge
I just might
Endlessly spinning in time
while getting so high
Spinning out of control
This way I live, this way I die
Jan 7, 2019
Jan 7, 2019 at 4:09 PM UTC
May I entwine
In your pretty serenity,
Forever is a lie
Promise
Me
an
Eternity
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 11:20 AM UTC
Closed windows;
Shutted door.
Covered in sheets,
On my bedroom floor...
A new year night,
Yet a pitiful sight.
Knew it wasnt right,
But i wasn't putting up a fight.
Isolated mind;
With suicidal thoughts.
Pain; imaginary,
So i didnt fought...
A story of a past,
Still haunting the present.
A messed up "me",
The sight wasn't pleasant...
Already knew
I was losing control,
And a promise was all
That was saving this soul...
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 9:13 AM UTC
Someone please control me,
from losing control,
of my uncontrolled feelings
Someone please control her,
from losing control,
of her uncontrolled feelings
Someone please control us,
from controlling each others,
uncontrolled feelings
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
Oh that smile make my heart skip a beat,
It makes me think i can perform any feat.
When im with you i see everything in symphony,
My expression changes in a different harmony.
Your company has given me a sense of serenity,
Yet your absence drives me to literal insanity...
And I've taken a liking to that laughter,
Those parted lips that cant be any softer...
So may i drown in those eyes full of depth?
My soul is quaking it really needs a rest.
I've never intended yet to be found,
Living in my sanctuary free and unbound...
Yet i didn't knew that sanctuary was a prison with no gain,
Where i bounded myself with woven chains...
You broked those chains and setted me free,
You saved me from the falling debris...
And you made me forget all the pain,
You've given me hope to love again...
Yet i cast away these shallow eyes,
so you may not notice these unspoken lies...
And now my despair is giving me away,
You've read this now i wonder what you'll say...
Will you cast me away and call me a creep?
Or dive in my soul and save it from eternal sleep?
Maybe you will shout and say "leave me be".
What can i say, its your choice, I'll just wait and see...
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 11:42 AM UTC
Its a given that eventually I'll mess up,
beside all the misery, I'll always fill your cup.
But,
I'm afraid to rupture your fragile heart
It frightens me that your love would someday depart
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 16, 2018 at 10:14 AM UTC
Sometimes I wake up and start crying.
Though, for a split second, I forget why.
I do not recall the day or time, or reasons… I am merely alive.
I find myself cherishing this moment because briefly I am at peace. But it does not last long, it can’t.
My feeling of absence nervously awaits until the painful sensation drags me down, embraces me with all its force, then retreats.
I am left alone, stuck.
But I am alive… I am alive, aren’t I?
No this is all in my head, right?
It’s almost as if my mind keeps searching for something. For someone.
regardless of how much I avoid the truth, it always comes down to y o u.
I spend my days waiting, but the vivid sensation of loss continues to linger.
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 3:36 PM UTC