I don't know how to say it,
I don't know how to just give my feelings wings and let them fly out of my mouth,
I've taught myself how to shape them into words,
Words that at least come closer to their intensity but never really fully translate them.
I've learnt how to scratch them on paper,
Edit them till no glimmer of me is left,
Till they talk about someone who is not me but still me,only I can tell the last part.
I've taught my writings to tell the tales of a being that no one knows,stories of a stranger who feels because that is not me.
I have not been me in so long,.
I am Me's greatest enemy.
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 8:51 AM UTC
How badly I wanted to prove you wrong when you said "I know you love me"
I introduced death to my poems, dipped my words in the takers blood,I turned my heart into a graveyard,just to reflect how dead my feelings for you are.
I captured every cell that ignited at the mention of your name and quenched the fire with the oceans you made me cry.
I deafened the heartbeats that pounded for you,burnt every thought that drifted to you,I never gave your absence the ability to take away my sanity.
I cradled the heart that you broke every night,whispered we're okay till the pieces trusted me and stuck together again. So No,you're wrong,I don't love you at all.
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 2:38 PM UTC
I miss the time when 'I love you' was the greatest poem I could ever write,
When I couldn't listen to a love song without thinking of you,
When thoughts of kissing you invaded my mind and I blushed to myself.
I miss the time when your arms were the only home I knew,
When you would engulf me in an embrace and your heart played music for me,
When you would pull my smile from its hiding place,
How you taught my heart to do the tango when you bit my lower lip,
You lit a fire in my soul,
And you still haven't put it out.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 11:50 AM UTC
Caution my young fragile heart,
Its eager but scared,
Teach it to thump the previous hurt away,
To beat the fears from its learning space,
To draw up the curtains,
Open the windows,
Invite some light in
And let in a new occupant.
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 11:49 AM UTC
I have these episodes,
where my heart gives up every emotion,
where it succumbs to science and just pumps blood,
quietly, just to keep me alive.
No feeling,
I can't tell if am happy,
or conjure up a reason to be,
no feeling is certain excerpt pain,
it refuses to be a feeling and racks itself under nature,
fueled by my own breath.
I have these episodes,
where I want to hide in the darkest place,
to lay with the rocks,
because not feeling to them is second to being.
I have these episodes,
where I want to dreanch myself in gasoline,
grab a match and set myself ablaze,
shut down the uncertainty and not knowing,
because it won't hurt that much if I know where its coming from.
I have these episodes,
where I realize,
numbness is another type of pain.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 6:48 PM UTC
Smile before they see your grimace,
blink back the tears before they fall
look away before the look of hurt is noticed
dress that cry for help into a soft melody
pull away before they notice they are pushing you away
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
Sometimes,
the wind gets too much,
so we lock our freedom in a bottle,
hoping one day it will grow and break free,
hoping we'll be ready for it.
Sometimes,
freedom binds us,..
chained to the need of maintaining it ..,
we clip our own wings.
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 7:42 PM UTC
At my best,
I'll dance with my shadow,
try to outran it,
hide from the one thing I can't lose
my gloomy companion without a voice.
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 4, 2018 at 6:53 PM UTC
Its not your words,
Or your silence,
Or how badly you broke my heart that still hurts me..
Its the good times we had,
The time you made me laugh till I cried,
The time you fake cried with me while watching a sad movie,
Those are the moments that haunt me,
Imprinted in my mind,I see them whenever I close my eyes,
And nothing breaks me more.
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 10:38 AM UTC
If I sat really still,unmoving,
would I feel today slipping away?
would I feel its grip on the present slowly loosening and the past hungrily waiting at bay,
patiently ******* on everything that makes today,today.
If I strained my attention past today would I hear tomorrow coming?
Its shadow a saving grace to those who wish to escape today,
hoping to find a better today in tomorrow.
if I gave up on the now,would immobility take me somewhere else?
would refusing to live in today preserve my life for tomorrow?
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 29, 2018 at 8:29 AM UTC