I hate the way you hurt my throat, don't leave me.
I hate the way you scar my hands, don't leave me.
I hate the way you make me keep secrets, don't leave me.
I hate when you don't let me go out, don't leave me.
I hate that I can't ever get away from you, don't leave me.
Please, just don't ever leave me.
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 8:28 PM UTC
When did the numbers become so important?
Why do these inanimate things begin to have so much power?
Constantly scrutinized, and measured by them.
Though they don't show the depth of our character
Or the things that make our hearts glow.
We reach for the right one never knowing what actually is enough.
Constantly measuring, but never enough.
When does it end?
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 3:25 PM UTC
She put on her brightest smile
And said, "I'm so happy"
Only to realize
As those three simple words came out
So did her tears.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 6:46 PM UTC
i don't think anyone will understand
the pain
of being completely abandoned
by the people who are supposed to love you the most.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
EDNOS is:
confusion.
-starving for days,
then bingeing every day for a week.
-puking until you see blood,
because you failed yet again.
-starving again,
because you’re too fat to function.
-puking some more,
because you’re not strong enough.
EDNOS is:
manic.
-running for hours,
because running makes you thin.
-exercising in the early morning,
because every minute counts.
-constantly fidgeting,
because moving burns calories.
-counting calories like a pro,
because everything has to be exact.
-organizing everything,
because it calms you down.
EDNOS is:
horrible.
-pulling your head out of the toilet,
with tears running down your face and puke all over.
-fake smiling at everyone,
because no one would believe you if you were honest.
-your mind spinning 100miles/hour,
because demons control your thoughts.
-comparing yourself to everyone you see,
because you’re too fat to be a part of society.
-wanting to die every second,
because you’re not perfect.
EDNOS is:
me.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 1:23 AM UTC
I binge on poems:
Poems about broken glass
And broken people.
I allow myself
A missed meal,
A forgotten snack.
How innocuous,
The blissfully ignorant
Rumble of my stomach.
But I don't starve,
Oh no-
I was a puker.
My greed takes over
In the haze of smoke
And the smell of his cologne.
I'm fine,
I'm fine,
I'm fine.
I'm too fat
To be sick,
Really.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 1:21 AM UTC
I'm crumbling again.
I can feel it.
I need contact.
Human contact.
This urge to feel and be felt.
No matter how hard.
How soft.
How painful.
How pleasureful.
This craving.
This emptiness.
It can not be filled.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 1:21 AM UTC
I'm getting better
I'm learning how to eat again
The weights are still in my closet,
and I binged again
I promise you
I'm gonna stop
I'm not gonna die
But I think I'll go purge
I swear I'm fine
I'm telling you, I ate
Don't believe me, whatever
But I truly am gaining weight
Okay, so maybe I lied
I don't want to stop
I want to be pretty and thin
And even perfect
Jun 4, 2016
Jun 4, 2016 at 8:01 PM UTC
I used to lose and
Think I was winning.
I used to win and
Think I was losing.
Now I'm losing and
No longer know the difference
I want to lose.
Every fiber of my being
wants to lose
I want to win
Not for me
for my family.
I can't win here though
I don't even want
to try anymore
Scarred Fingers
Rotting Teeth
Burning Throat
The price of losing {Winning}
The price of negative comments made
The price of winning {Losing}
Winning
Losing
It all ends the same
Jun 4, 2016
Jun 4, 2016 at 7:32 PM UTC