I wake inside a borrowed skin,
A quiet haze beneath within.
My hands still move, my feet still roam,
But nothing in me answers home.
The mirrors blur and lose my face,
Like time has thinned and slipped its place.
My shadow drifts a step too slow,
As if it’s not mine where I go.
The voices fade, the hallways bend,
The hours smear and never end.
I watch this life through silver light,
A distant dream that lasts all night.
Someone speaks and wears my name,
I mouth the words, but feel no claim.
Each breath arrives from far away;
Like I was never here to stay.
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 9:29 AM UTC
To feed the greed,
the need to bleed,
I plant my pain,
a poison I need.
What does it mean
when hurt feels right,
when darkness comforts
more than light?
I wash my hands,
I scrub the stain,
but every cleanse
returns the pain
I promise myself
this time I’ll heal,
yet end up trapped
beneath all I feel
Because the greed
still plants the need,
and all my addiction
does is feed.
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 9:20 AM UTC
I’m tired of nights that never end,
Of older men who just pretend,
Who call me “beautiful” for show,
Then leave before they even know.
They speak in ways that sound so sweet,
Then turn my heart to something weak.
Their polished words, their practiced lies,
Still echo long after goodbye.
I learned to trade my pain for praise,
To lose myself in strangers’ gaze.
To let their attention pull me near,
Just so I won’t disappear.
They say I’m “mature,” wise for my age,
Like that excuses every cage.
Like loneliness can justify
The way they use me, then deny.
And when the mirror catches me,
I hate the person that I see.
Not from their hands, but from the shame
Of every cruel and hollow phrase.
I feel disgusting, small, unclean,
Like I’m worth less than I had dreamed.
Their words still linger in my head,
Repeating everything they said.
I ache to hear somebody stay,
To mean enough they choose my name.
Not just a body passing through,
Not just a moment to consume.
I want to be the kind they keep,
The kind they hold when things get deep.
To be admired beyond my skin,
And not abandoned once let in.
Because the hardest thing to bear
Is giving all and feeling spare;
Standing beside somebody’s life,
Yet never once becoming prized.
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 4:20 PM UTC
At ten, I thought that love was praise
Words spoken softly through a haze,
In older voices, warm and low,
Saying the things I longed to know.
“You’re adorable,” drifting through the line,
And I would take it as a sign,
I let it sink in, let it stay;
Like it could shape who I became.
Not gone in just a single night,
But fading slowly out of sight,
In quiet gaps, in less and less,
In half-formed care, in tenderness.
The men I met along the way,
even Daniel,
Each a spark that didn’t stay,
Just different names, the same slow fray.
And still I loved them, held on tight
To every flicker of their light,
Because to me, it all was real,
The way they spoke, the way they’d feel.
I didn’t know that love could lie,
Or dim itself, then say goodbye,
I only knew I felt it then;
Or what I thought it might have been.
And that’s the part I can’t undo:
It wasn’t love;
..but it felt true.
Apr 26
Apr 26, 2026 at 11:14 PM UTC
You built the fire, then left me in the heat,
A lesson in a longing that I wasn't meant to meet.
The years between us formed a wall, a vast and silent space,
Until you reached across the gap to memorize my face.
You pulled me close and whispered, "My Sweet girl," against my skin,
A name that lit a fever where the innocence had been.
You were the architect of all the passion that I know,
The one who mapped my body out and taught it how to glow.
I learned the secrets of a touch I had no right to find,
With vintage wisdom from your soul impressed upon my mind.
You gave me eyes to see the world, you taught me how to love,
Then used the clock to measure what we both were made of.
Now you use the decade like a blade to cut the tie,
To tell me that the timing is the truth, we can't deny.
But how can you be stranger now, and push me to the shore,
When you’re the one who opened up the only sacred door?
I’m haunted by the "sweet girl" and the man who held the light,
Who schooled me in the shadows then abandoned me to the night.
You taught me everything, Daniel; how to burn and how to ache;
Then left me with a hunger that the years will never break.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 9:21 AM UTC
Across the miles, your screen would glow,
With seeds of doubt you loved to sow.
You fed me breadcrumbs, cold and lean,
While keeping her behind the scene.
Then came the twist, the sharpened knife:
You "confessed" the truth to wreck my life.
You watched my heart begin to break,
To see how much a soul could take.
But when I turned and walked away,
The script you wrote began to fray.
"I lied!" you shrieked, "I never strayed!
It was a test, a game I played!
I wanted to see if you’d be true,
To prove the love I had for you."
A double lie, a tangled mess,
To hide your cowardice, I guess.
When "tests" and gaslight failed to bind,
You sought a darker trap to find.
A shaky lens, a staged despair,
A length of rope hung in the air.
You played at death to force my hand,
A final, fake, dramatic stand.
But even there, the knots were weak;
Just one more lie for you to speak.
You're just a ghost within a phone,
A King of Lies upon a throne.
The "test" you ran has finally cleared:
The girl you owned has "disappeared."
So keep your rope and keep your stage,
I’ve finally turned the final page.
You faked your end to make me stay,
But you’ve been dead to me since last May.
Apr 17
Apr 17, 2026 at 7:38 PM UTC
The house is divided by a jagged line,
Drawn over a brother who isn't mine,
Nor my father’s blood, but his mother’s pride,
The one for whom all the rules slide.
He is the golden, untouchable light,
The spark that ignites the fuse every night.
The money is gone, a thousand-dollar ghost,
Taken by the hands she loves the most.
A trail of theft, a bank account bled,
Yet she defends every word that he’s said.
Dad shouts of justice, of limits and law,
But she sees no shadow, she admits no flaw.
They’ve tried the clinics, the cold, white halls,
But no institution can scale his walls.
The anger is rooted, a bitter, dark vine,
That chokes out the peace in this house of mine.
No doctor can mend what he refuses to heal,
While he plays the victim with hands made to steal.
Then comes the venom, the sharp, jagged breath,
When he looks in my eyes, he wishes me death.
"I hate you," he spits, "I wish you were gone,"
While his mother stands by, still cheering him on.
He is the favorite, the first, and the curse,
And there is no "sorry," only things getting worse.
I sit in the silence of my own bedroom wall,
Watching the shadows of the giants grow tall.
In this house of halves and stolen names,
The oldest son wins all the games.
And while they collide over what he should be,
The loudest of silences falls over me.
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 10:08 PM UTC
I am the blueprint, the first one they tried, The one who learned early to swallow the tide. I learned how to lead before I could run. The daughter who works till the setting of the sun.
My shoulders were built for the weight of their world,
A crown made of "strongest" forever unfurled.
When they fall, I am the cushion and floor,
But who is the one standing guard at my door?
I'm the "third parent," the steady old hand, Clearing the path through their stretch of the sand. My mistakes are cracks in the family glass, While theirs are just clouds that are allowed to pass.
I am the anchor, the shield, and the map, My childhood dissolved in the space of that gap. I carry the truth so their world stays sweet, A thousand quiet miles worn into my feet.
Mar 26
Mar 26, 2026 at 8:04 PM UTC
I thought my heart was full at dawn,
But as the evening shadows drawn,
I find a deeper, wider space
Within the quiet of your grace.
I didn't know that love could grow
Beyond the peaks I used to know,
Yet every day, a simple word
Is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
With every door you gently hold,
A new layer of my soul unfolds;
A gentleman in deed and mind,
Leaving all my doubts behind.
It’s a steady climb, a rising tide,
With nowhere left for joy to hide.
I loved you then, I love you more,
I'm still surprised by what’s left in store.
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 7:09 AM UTC
It’s in the way your mouth curves, a slow and crooked line,
A smile that doesn't try to be, but makes the world feel mine.
The "crush" was just a picture, a glossy, perfect view,
But love is in the clumsy grace of everything you do.
I watch the way your eyes ignite when you’re about to speak,
A secret sort of mischief that makes my spirit weak.
And when you say those silly things, the thoughts you don’t disguise,
I find a deeper universe reflected in your eyes.
It’s not the grand or sweeping words that tether me to you,
But the earnest, quiet look you give when you aren't trying to.
The flutter turned to something thick, a heartbeat strong and slow,
Because the more of "you" I see, the more I need to know.
Mar 21
Mar 21, 2026 at 1:27 AM UTC