Uncertainty drips from every pore
I can’t count how many times I’ve cried
I don’t know what I’m crying for
I don’t know how many times they’ve lied
“You can’t trust anyone,” he said
After so long, the words awake in my mind
Fear and anxiety crawl into my bed
To keep me awake until the sun goes blind
No one helps, no one fights it anymore
Mental illness is the hottest new trend
Everything is rushing towards the open door
So once again I can’t tell who is my friend
I’m not yet ready to accept defeat
Yet the suffocating tension only grows
Maybe it’s over, maybe I’m already beat
Maybe I should just let go
Maybe I should let them drift
Let myself sink into the unknown
Maybe this is their final gift
To someone undeserving of their throne
Jan 16, 2020
Jan 16, 2020 at 9:47 AM UTC
Narrow blue eyes
Some empty, some still closed
Uncomfortable, unsure of what to do
I look down at my feet
At muddy shoes on the rug
I stare while my teeth start to chatter
I expected warmth in here, instead
Cold blue eyes.
The eyes tower above
Forcefully smiling at me
I still didn’t want to, but
sent half a real smile
when eyes burned holes in my back.
My face would definitely bruise.
I used to be a pretty girl, now just
Dull blue eyes.
Another minute of struggling,
Of revealing the rust underneath
Their gaze, it makes me sick
The eyes are twitching,
Obsessed with loosening strings
Watching my every move.
Some empty, some still closed;
Hateful blue eyes.
I feel the urge to run,
Escape from their clutches
The door is closed behind me.
They grab me again, drag me back
To paint a smile on my face,
To paint blue eyes narrow,
Framed by long black lashes;
So my blue eyes can stare
At the next pretty girl.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 8:52 AM UTC
so much depends
upon
a red rose,
tacked
to walls not
mine,
dried to stay
forever.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 8:52 AM UTC
I focus myself on water,
though I believe I am light.
Not my own, but a reflection on the moon.
Or maybe just the moon on water.
Dec 9, 2019
Dec 9, 2019 at 9:00 AM UTC
My mother punched until her knuckles bled
I could hear her screaming from up the stairs
I just put in earbuds and washed the dishes
I swear I would help if it weren't for the fear
My mother made a hole in the bedroom wall
With the doorknob of my door
Big sister was having a fit again
And mother couldn't take it anymore
My mother stabbed the kitchen counter
She tried to cut off her hand
Little sister took the knife from her
I tried to just go back to sleep
My mother took the keys and drove off
No one knew where she went
But she had been drinking Smirnoff
I just hid in my room and tried not to think
I hardly ever come home anymore
Sep 13, 2019
Sep 13, 2019 at 9:47 AM UTC
I talk, and they ignore
The trees
Why won't they respond?
They talk to each other
They whisper
Why do they ignore me
Alone in the forest
I hear words
Amongst the trees
None of them are for me
Alone in the forest
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 3:01 PM UTC
My mouth is flooding
Water pours out and
it pools on the floor
It keeps coming
Pouring and pouring
and pouring and pouring
Why can't I stop
I'm drowning in it
You're drowning too
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 2:55 PM UTC
I've always been a weak swimmer
I'm afraid one day I'll sink
The seaweed will grab me
and my limbs will stop moving
My lungs burn with need
They won't get what they want
But then they collapse
And maybe my fears disappear
I've heard that drowning
is the most peaceful death
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 2:43 PM UTC
The dots of light under which I cry
I cry for the comfort I now can find
I smile for the light which holds me now
I sing for the stars that can hold the sound
I hear them sing our voices back
Every time I look into night
Echoing the laughter that we shared
Choking on tears only we can see
It happens every time I see the light
Of a sun that isn’t mine
They whisper again to me
The feeling of one that is
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 30, 2018 at 11:14 AM UTC