Sometimes it's like no time has passed since she showed up in my life.
To imagine that I would fall victim to her mesmerizing spell...Again.
To think I was convinced she would be the answer to all of my problems.
To think I fooled myself into thinking I could handle her storm, not to lose control.
How could I have been so blind?
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
My Siren in the form of a drug, a foil, a needle.
Everything I loved and everything I hate.
Such an easy mistake.
An easy escape.
A cowards answer.
Again I fell victim to her double edged sword.
Left to pick up and rebuild from the ruble, left after her storm.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 11, 2015 at 5:24 AM UTC
He promised her
Unending Joy
Gave her dreams of happiness
A world unknown to her
He left her only with darkness
He Promised her
Endless Love
Made her feel like she could float
On thin air alone
He left and she forgot how to fly
He Promised her
The World
And when she was with him she was
Infinite.
Him and Her against the world
He left and the world crumbled
He promised
And promised
And promised
And she believed him
But
She learnt that his heart was as empty
As the promises he had bled.
M.D
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 6:08 AM UTC
I chase away memories of you with each hit from the pilo and with every shot I take at the bar.
Im growing tired of the way your face has constantly been haunting my thoughts.
Why is it so ******* hard to forget you?
You were the best of times and the worst of times in my life.
And I still ******* love you..
**** you.
It had been years since I held you.
One night, a few simple hours together, and it all came flooding back.
Back to square one.
Its like im playing a game of shutes and ladders and I just can't win.
How can you just push it all back inside?
How can you pretend like it didn't happen, like I'm not even a ******* friend.
What the ****
I understand that I make her uncomfortable, maybe even insecure.
But I am still human.
I do have a heart and feelings too.
A heart that will forever be meant for you, even if you forget.
There you are, off in bed with her,
And I am here..
Sitting alone, spilling my heart onto these blank pages.
A bottle of wine as my only friend.
So I'll take another drink, maybe even chug the glass to the end.
All in hopes that maybe this time, just maybe, I'll finally erase the memories we have shared.
Forget the feelings that you set free.
God ****
I love you, you ******* *******
I always will...I always have.
Will you ever remember to love me?
-I just wish there was a chance to be "us" again
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 9:04 AM UTC
I stare at my own reflection,
Diving into the sadness that my eyes try to hide.
I see the ghost of who I used to be.
Who is going to numb this pain?
Who is going to help me hide?
I watch myself fake a smile,
I could almost convince myself that it was sincere.
Still tracing my scars,
Each memory replaying like silent films in my head.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 7:11 AM UTC
The walls are closing in.
Baby, I need you.
Make my heart smile.
Make the light inside me shine.
I need you to wake up the butterflies.
I'm starting to forget what it feels like.
Help me feel loved.
Like I matter.
Don't let me slip again.
Bring me home.
Take me to where all my fears disappear.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 6:58 AM UTC
Carrying love and letting it go.
Another day, another sellout angel.
Blame the town, watch the light decay.
We turn our cheeks and look away.
Now that I've turned my back,
Go ahead. Fire away.
You tear the truth apart, left it with the pieces of my heart.
I just wanted to hold you,
To feel you with me.
Instead, I was left choking on irony.
Maybe..
Maybe it was better off this way.
I could see the empty gaze,
Your silence told me everything.
How long will you know my name?
Sometimes,
When you cross my mind,
I still tend to cry.
My unspoken love to the best friend I lost.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 6:52 AM UTC
I love you. I want to give you every part of me that I can. My body, my mind, my heart..
I fall more and more in love with you every day.
They say that true love exists when you want only the best for that person. When you would do anything to make sure they are happy, even if that means they are with someone else. When you can sit down and imagine your life 10, 20, 50years down the road and that person is still by your side.
I ask myself all the time if those are things in capable of, especially with the curve ball life decided to throw into the mix. And I keep coming back to yes, I am capable of those things.
If going to Texas is the best, and only, option, then I want you to go there. In my perfect dream world I would go with you. Pack our things, drive away, and start a new life there. But who knows what is going to happen.
I do want you to be happy, and down the line if that means you find yourself giving your heart to someone else, I will accept that. I can be a cat lady if that day comes. Haha. But until that day comes, if it does, I will be by your side, through thick and thin.
Everytime I picture my life years from now, you are the only person I see myself with. You're the only man I want to give myself to again.
You don't need to feel like I am too good for you, or that you don't deserve me.
I am yours, don't ever forget that.
I love you Luke.
Forever and Always.
-Amber
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 4:50 PM UTC
What if when they tell us
"And God said let there be light",
that it meant,
Us, as spiritual beings are God,
And to open our eyes to the idea that love is the light,
Loving for the sake of love.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 12:34 AM UTC
The head and the heart seem to be at battle inside me.
My heart is full of the love that emanates from him. There is a light that had been ignited, growing brighter and warmer as each day passes. His love slowly picking up the fragile remains of my past, patching up the holes that have been left behind. I finally feel the love and appreciation I have always longed for.
My mind knows that the love is real and yet I am full of such...apprehension. Something stops me from letting my guard down. I am still filled with unease when I hear his phone ring. I'm still scared of getting my heart broken again. I don't distrust him. I know its my arms he wants wrapped around him at night.
This battle makes me feel crazy. I don't want to be the reason for the hurt behind his eyes. I don't want to be the one that causes pain instead of healing a broken heart.
With all the love I feel surrounding me, why does it still feel like there is something inside cracking? Like ice.
Is the ice inside me unthawing and cracking because of the warmth that grows from my soul or is the ice slowly creeping up my walls, another precautious barrier subconsciously forming to guard potential heartbreak.
I just want to finally live in peace, imaging our possible future. I don't want to be in any other arms, I don't want to be a part of any other mans life.
How do I stop this unnecessary battle inside from tearing this apart?
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 9:12 PM UTC