You are in my morning coffee
My happy thoughts
The old memories that swirl in my brain, always swirl back to you
I think of you when I put on makeup
When I get dressed
When I hold all the parts of me,
You loved like no one else
When I say I hate commitment
When I’m singing and dancing
Or crying and shaking
I think of you
My late night drinks
And cigarettes
taste like your lips
I think of you
Do you think of me too?
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 12:54 AM UTC
My smiles are stitched in place
my words are a script
my laughs are rehearsed
I fold the anger under my skin
swallow the pain down
tuck the shame behind my hair
every heartbreak deep down inside my chest
I have mastered the art
of disguising my demons
but when you look at me
I am transparent
every story floods from my skin
bursting to be told
begging to be discovered
when you hold me
you hold every awful memory
and when you kiss me
oh god when you kiss me
it all fades away
and I am free
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 12, 2015 at 7:57 PM UTC
I don't love you
I don't love your flaws
I hate them
you tore me to pieces
I hate so many things about you
you are like nicotine
worse than the hits I take
I crave so many pieces of you
but only pieces
I can never love you fully
as a whole
I love the sections of you I handpicked
and re arranged
into who I want
I don't love you anymore
I love feeling loved.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 1:58 AM UTC
I don't love you
I don't love your flaws
I hate them
you tore me to pieces
I hate so many things about you
you are like nicotine
worse than the hits I take
I crave so many pieces of you
but only pieces
I can never love you fully
as a whole
I love the sections of you I handpicked
and re arranged
into who I want
I don't love you anymore
I love feeling loved.
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 1:57 AM UTC
before
all
the pieces
are
broken apart
then
we
shall make
a map of the heart
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 9:17 PM UTC
How I long to understand
Why we are so underhand
And throw away our lives for ownership
Who owns blossom on the tree
The gardener or the cherry
Should the bumble bee own the scrip
Twist your tendons and minds
Embers fly as the axe grinds
Just to avoid tongues cracking whip
Drunken on your earned credit
The latest "must buy" on Reddit
Who knew owning could be so hip
Time ticks and you get old
Till the day your body's cold
Then all your stuff cast in the skip
The bee flies from the tree
Pollen laden to the colony
Careless of your past "ownership"
The dollar turns into a cent
All you "owned" was just for rent
Space owns time, which owns your little blip.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 9:16 PM UTC
Everything is falling apart
I can feel the grief in the air
each breath i take is like a rock in my throat
the truth is no one knows what to do
we are all wandering blindly into the woods
stumbling, tripping, trying to find an answer
a conclusion
but doubt is endless
my body is so tired
its skin so scarred
her eyes are dark
and his voice is low
father and my mother sleep in separate rooms
my sister sleeps in our living room
her husband across town
my brothers ring is no longer on his hand
their puzzle pieces fill my arms
to many to carry
to many arguments
the spaces between them are flooded with fear
i am drowning
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 2:33 AM UTC
No longer memories,
just empty scenes in my mind
endlessly replaying
im ready to move on
these fragments of broken glass keep cutting me so deep,
rupturing my veins and spilling out my bones,
just let me go and let me be
i wanna get out
i wanna be free
its like a record player
stuck on repeat
im running in place
im running alone
I see new scars
on top of scars,
on top of scars
each time i look they multiply
each time i look i wanna tear my skin
piece by piece
take it away
because the more i learn to love myself
the more it hurts to see.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 12:20 AM UTC
Take me apart piece by piece
strip search me
you will only find bruises and broken bones
from all those who've come before you
discarding my clothes like unwanted distractions
i gave up long before you
on trying to fight back
slowly convinced my bodies not mine to fight for
this skin isn't mine to hide
your hands on my hipbones
tongue in mine
kissing away every "no" I whisper
thrusting,
moaning,
but don't you know
you're ******* a corpse
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
He had a habit of forgetting
That the knife should be
At his left,
Unlike others.
Every morning, she would
mechanically
switch the fork with the knife.
When they finished lunch
she started clearing up
and noticed the knife to his right
again.
That night,
after their routine drew to a close,
They talked.
Slowly, at first.
A touchy subject walks in.
It's time.
Even as the air is knocked from her lungs,
She gets up and scrabbles on the floor.
Nails scratching the carpet.
Eyes scanning the horizon, now black.
Her brain decides to get up,
Her body disobeys.
Her body disobeys.
Isn't that what put her here in the first place?
So what if she is pretty?
So what if her eyes are sparkling emeralds?
Her belly renders her defenceless
from his onslaught.
Isn't it her fault
that it is empty?
Isn't she wrong to want
independence from him?
Mentally, physically, emotionally?
He owned her, didn't he?
He owned her, didn't he.
He explained to her the benefits
of obeying.
Her pretty face wouldn't have been
all those ungainly shades of black.
Her eyes wouldn't have been encircled by blue.
All she had to do was obey
and not tell anyone
but obey.
Her brain rebelled.
Her brain rebelled.
Her body, for once, obeyed.
She stumbled through the hallway
She knocked down her favourite frame-
Their daughter on a pony.
Kitchen, her sanctuary.
She broke her favourite China.
Hurled her utensils.
"I arranged them last week, you *****
And then she saw them.
The knives.
The knives.
They were inviting
Her hands were pale, waiting.
His heart corrupt, hating.
"Knives to your left, darling."
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 11:01 PM UTC